Not the year I hoped for, that's for sure. To say I can't wait for 2011 is an understatement. To think 26 days ago I was thrilled about the year (well, almost all of it). Here's the year in recap.
January: Living in Germany and traveling all over the place. Our parents visited us for the 2009 Christmas season and we traveled all around with them. On New Years, we were in Paris. Before heading back to the US, we also visited Switzerland, Italy, and Romania.
February: We flew back to Chicago for our home search. We had a week to find ourselves a house and place an offer before heading back to Germany. We found our dream home and put in an offer. They accepted. 2010 was promising to be a great year!
March: We flew back to Chicago and were here to stay. We moved into our new home just two days after our plane touched down and started trying to get pregnant just days later.
April: We found out that those two lines (when the pregnancy test is done correctly... yes, I'm sometimes blond) meant that we were pregnant! Woah, that was quick! We did some volunteering at our new church and met a bunch of amazing 20-somethings like ourselves, too! I was midway through teaching a graduate course in technology for teachers.
May: I began subbing in our local area. We started attending a Bible study with those new friends we found and really became plugged in. I also had my very first OB appointment that confirmed once again that we were expecting! The end of this month also brought tears... a dermatology appointment and biopsy found that I had Basal Cell Carcinoma. Skin cancer at 27. Lots of tears, but a promising recovery.
June: The month started off rough. I had surgery on my skin cancer to extract it all-- which was successful. I wasn't able to have all of the numbing drugs due to my pregnancy, but I toughed through it. I recovered well. We had Ray's parents and grandparents in town mid-month and went on a nice architecture cruise downtown. Our second OB appointment followed at the end of the month.
July: This was a great month. Not only did we celebrate 2 years of marriage with a trip to South Haven, Michigan, but we had so many social gatherings with our friends! We headed back to California (for the first time since we packed the truck and moved to the Midwest in 2009) to watch our friend Jen get married! She played a role in us uniting, so we surely wouldn't miss her wedding for the world! My amazing husband bought tickets to see Bon Jovi at Soldier Field also! And finally, on the date of our 2nd anniversary, we found out we were expecting a son. Those were such happy memories. I remember we called our Bible study group after calling our elated parents and then headed to have a Mexican dinner and virgin margaritas. :)
August: This was another busy month. We had visitors from Germany, more social outings, our first Chicago Cubs baseball game, a play downtown in Lincoln Park, and our first baby shower at Seven Springs, Pennsylvania! Ray's family held a shower for Luke & Liz (expecting the same month) and us. It was so much fun and we dreamt of what the next year would be having our 8-month-old sons with us there!
September: Lots of subbing this month. I was becoming quite pregnant at this time and everyone was beginning to notice. My parents came to visit us for the first time and we showed them around the area. We had more visitors from Germany and lots more social events, including a White Sox game. We went on a tour of the Labor and Delivery unit at Edward Hospital, where we delivered Andrew.
October: We celebrated my 28th birthday this month and my 2-week appointments started. We were able to hang out with my cousin TJ, his girlfriend Pauline, and my aunt Robin downtown on a warm night. My best friend Alison, her husband Nic, and their kids Gabrielle and Scotty came to visit for a few days as well. It was wonderful having them here. We also had our first (of 2) baby classes at the hospital!
November: More subbing, our second baby class, volunteering, and lots of social events this month. We had dinner with many people because we were sure we'd be too busy to have social time once Andrew arrived. All of the finishing touches were put on, the nursery was complete, and we were ready for our baby. I was seeing the OB every week starting this month. Strong heartbeat, no concerns. All was well on the baby front! We celebrated Thanksgiving with some friends locally because we didn't want to drive too far in fear that we would be too far from the hospital.
December: Our world came crashing down and all shades of white quickly turned to black. Our baby was born without a heartbeat and we weren't ever going to experience bringing him home. We still have no idea why... and we don't really want to know. We love you little man. I sure hope you're enjoying heaven.
Still praying and full of hope that this new year may bring better news. There were wonderful times, but also such trying times in 2010. While some days I wish I were never pregnant so we could be spared from having to endure the pain of losing our son, being pregnant with him was precious and wonderful. Yes, I complained like all pregnant women do, but deep down inside, I loved that God chose me to grow his little body. We are thankful for one another and hopeful for a healthy pregnancy in this new year.
Heartbreak and Healing
9 months ago