Unrelated, the last few days I've been thinking about how my house smells. Okay, weird. I get it.
We've lived in this house just over 3 years now. When we moved in, I remember walking in to a new scent. It felt like new and that's just what it was (Well, to us. Our house is older than we are.).
Eventually, it became a regular scent and one I associated with us. It was the comfort of home and one we added to over time with new soaps, cleaning, plants, paint, etc.
However, with the weather changing and Chicago seeing temps between 70-80 degree (!), that scent has returned. It smells like it did when we moved in and when I was newly pregnant with Andrew. We've all heard about the sense of smell being among the strongest to connect us with memories. Being pregnant with Andrew, my sense of smell was immensely heightened-- even more than my pregnancy with Benjamin.
Winter was over and spring was in full bloom when we moved in. I fully believe that seasons cause your home to smell differently. I don't know if it's because of the temperature outside and how the sun hits down, but it smells different in the spring. Not just because of pollen in the air and flowers blooming.
This new home smell makes me think of being pregnant with Andrew so much.
I miss everything about spring three years ago.
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6 comments:
I get this. 100%
This spring that just settled in full swing ... The smell in my house reminded me of my fresh, aching grief in losing Alexander last year. It was such a mild winter, and our upstairs washroom would smell crisp and full of fresh air as I would soak in the tub to heal my stitches from labour, and allow my milk to express out into the warm water. I sat alone,in the new house bought for him in mind, and i felt a missing that I was sure would be the end of me. Missing the baby I should have brought home.
Smells are intense. They bring me right back.
I couldn't agree more.
First of all, no judgements about eating frozen meals. Life gets busy!
Second of all, I was just thinking of how this house smelt tonight! We, too, moved here in the spring and something about opening up the windows and the fresh air brings a smell to this house that is our smell. I also oddly remember not being able to smell it the spring after Ava died. I remember opening the windows and wanting that fresh spring house smell and not being able to smell it.
So now it is a grief smell too. A smell before Ava. A smell that shows me grief has lessened.
Three springs ago? That feels like a lifetime ago. I miss it too. So much.
I smelled something the other day and it brought me back, but I couldn't place where - but it was an early memory - from my house growing up. Funny how a scent can do that.
Me too friend, me too!
It's funny you wrote this- I noticed the smell of this house from when we used to view it- I don't like it at all. Makes me want to scrub like crazy.
I still get wiffs of Jack's scents. I love it, but it's so sad all at the same time. :/
Smell is a crazy powerful thing. As hard as the moments are when you are thrust back to that time it's also really beautiful too. The happiest times of our lives. Sigh.
I would love to go back 3 springs as well...sigh!
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