Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Letters to Andrew


Dear Andrew,

I cannot get the memory of sitting in our car after finding out you were a boy out of my head these days. It had nothing to do with gender, and still doesn't. It's all about the person you were that made your identity known to us in that moment. We fell in love, so in love. We're still in love.

I was writing an email to someone named Andrea the other day and could not prevent myself, even while being very conscious, from slipping and writing your name instead. One letter off and something I'm so familiar typing. Your name. Not so much in manuscript, but typing, often. I loved making that mistake. 

No matter the distance and no matter the amount of time we had with you those short 38.5 weeks, you are always missed. Every last inch of you is missed and even the (many more) inches you would be now. The words you would be speaking, the food you would be enjoying, the birthday party theme you'd choose and Halloween costume you would select. All missed.

Your brother saw a picture of your little feet this morning and immediately said, "Those feet are Andrew's." You may have never been introduced, but the missing is not an ounce less. In fact, it's grows with each sibling we've added to the family, one more person missing your daily presence.

Mom, Dad and your younger siblings, Benjamin & Claire miss you.

Love (Abundantly),
Mom

6 comments:

Addi's mom said... [Reply to comment]

One more person missing your daily presence. I love and hate that line. It's so true. Love the love, hate the missing. Want them here, want them now.

Veronica said... [Reply to comment]

Brady this is brutiful.

Andrew, I miss you too

xo

Laura Jane said... [Reply to comment]

tears.

loving Andrew.

Party of Three Heads said... [Reply to comment]

Love.
It's so evident.
Always.

Krystal Sullivan said... [Reply to comment]

So heartfelt. I love that Andrew is such a big part of your family. Love grows everyday and it is so clear that Andrew is loved more and more each passing second.

Mama Bear said... [Reply to comment]

Still in love and still missing. xoxo