Thank goodness we don't live in an apartment or condo with shared walls. I'm not sure how our wall-sharing neighbors would handle all. the. screaming. Whether it's from my kids (90%) or me at them (10%), there seems to be always someone yelling lately.
I totally regret the 10%, but sometimes it's just all I can handle and I blow my top. It's mostly to get the noise, their noise, to stop immediately. But ironically, raising my voice is the very thing that puts the icing on the headache cupcake.
Benjamin, as most of my readers know, has always been difficult. Since he was around two, he's been more than spirited. Explosive. I feel like I've written about this before. They have the book, The Spirited Child. And Love and Logic is great, for the more rational child. But what we needed was the extreme, The Explosive Child to really fully understand how he ticks. I need to go back and read that book again. Clearly I'm rusty. It's not pretty most of the time, but we have managed to (mostly) keep the insanity at bay if we can calm ourselves enough to remember the principles outlined in the book. But like today, I just had no patience for that.
Claire has learned all of her brother's nasty ways and immediately resorts to, "I will kick the wall. I will spit on you" when she isn't getting her way. But still, she appears to have some remorse eventually for her actions.
Benjamin asked me if I was drinking a beer with dinner tonight because of Claire's poor behavior (to his credit, her behavior was worse than his today). The answer was no, but it sort of morphed into yes as the night progressed.
Bedtime was early tonight, because Dad's out of town and moving is stressful and the kids have no toys (and those are really all just excuses).
Four and two. Phew. Some days I'm thrilled because they can be playmates, but just flip the coin and they can be absolute terrors to one another without either of them having a reasoning bone in their bodies. It takes a lot out of a mama.
I for sure threatened the babysitter card tonight.
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Heartbreak and Healing
8 years ago
2 comments:
I read Love and Logic a couple of weeks ago. I get and mostly agree with its principles, but it's not quite right for Zuzu either. Beer with dinner is almost always a good plan!
Hang onto all your parent stress-busters and make sure to care very well for yourself!! It took 12 months after our sudden move to STL for all the anger and acting out (kid, and parent) to subside. Moving to Chicagoland was more planned, and we braced for another 12 months of difficulty... but what saved our sanity after only three months of adjustment was a gym membership with childcare (so mom could work out solo), enrollment in school, and the very simple rules of getting adequate sleep and having a weekly rhythm. It takes extra brain power to navigate a new grocery store! The kids were so tired of flying by the seat of our pants each day, they were relieved to be able to tell me, "It is Thursday. We shop for groceries today. It is Friday, we do a movie with pizza at home." Hopefully all events out soon!!
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