Thursday, November 3, 2011

It's Thursday. A Random Post to Finish the Week.

Had a conversation today. Not that I don't have those everyday, but the kind that made me explain things about my dead son that I usually try to avoid with the random folks.

I was making sure a child didn't go nuts observing a child in gym today and another woman was in there with her equally interesting caseload. As we managed to dodge balls being flung at our heads for 20 minutes, we chatted. I asked her if she wanted the rest of my Kit Kat because I have serious issues with eating sweets while pregnant. The scale validated my concern at my last OB appt. Super. Fat Brandy is in full force. Anyway, I asked her if she wanted my chocolate. Nope, she's allergic. Totally unrelated to what I'm getting at here, but it was part of our conversation and I had to feel a little sorry for her inability to consume something that is practically a food group in my house.

I'm definitely showing through my clothes now and it's nearly impossible to hide like I've been doing pretty well for the last 5 months. I've given up and just threw on a maternity shirt today without the added jacket or pullover I usually add to the wardrobe to avert the crisis of having to explain that I am, in fact, pregnant. Like I'm a 16-year old teenager in high school who made a big mistake one evening or something. No, I'm a 29-year old woman who is happily married. In any culture, pregnancy is acceptable and welcomed to someone like me. But instead I've spent 5 months trying to hide myself. Today, I was over it. The game is over and I probably had about 20 kids ask me if I am pregnant today. And to all 20, I replied that I was. They were all excited. It was a weird experience. Of course they are. Why wouldn't they be? The subsequent question is always about the gender and if we've chosen a name. I pretend as though we don't have one chosen. We do... but until we are comfortable speaking it aloud, we aren't sharing.

Back to gym class and the stranger standing next to me. She asked if this was my first. Normally, I say no and just leave it be. What does it matter to explain things further if I'll never see her again? But then, something happened. Her eyes lit up and she grew excited about him and how this will be my second-- a second boy! I couldn't wait for the next, inevitable age question to follow, so I went right ahead and whispered that he died. The usual, "I'm so sorry" remarks ensued as I spent the next minute explaining that my son does not make me sad and that I am comfortable telling her about him. She apologized for assuming that all was well and I had to, once again, explain that it was okay that she asked. It's important people know that although rare, children sometimes don't come home from the hospital.

Otherwise, I've been a cooking machine over here. I recently made a few recipes I pinned on Pinterest. All of them were fantastic! I am finding that a creative outlet is really helping this pregnancy. I need something to take my mind off gestating and all the possibilities of disaster that could occur. I still feel daily movement, so for now, we still have this little guy on board. Thankful. And getting more plump by the second-- partially from my new creative outlet and Halloween candy, but also from this growing little body!

Before sharing my latest recipes, I'll explain Halloween. I spent the afternoon hours driving around to various stores and places I needed to run errands at. But after awhile and two Targets later, I needed to get home and make dinner. I managed to avoid 80% of the trick-or-treaters and definitely avoided the families that normally tote their cute littles around in wagons and drink their beers from coozies. That, I definitely needed to avoid. For all I know, they may very well have avoided me too. Instead, we got the tail-end of jerky high school kids who should really be home doing their homework and not begging adults for trinkets and pieces of candy they don't really need. But anyway... successful, I guess. Links to recipes are below.

I also made a toasted ancho-chile sauce for enchiladas, homemade tzatziki (incredible), and Lebanese Beef for homemade gyros. I made some falafel from a box and it turned out a bit dry, but otherwise tasty as well.

Random for Thursday, but it's all I could muster up. Sometimes that just has to be good enough.


boo and stacy said... [Reply to comment]

Pinterest oh Pinterest of how I love thee..... Yes pinterest is a great anxiety outlet.....

Addi's mom said... [Reply to comment]

Yes, I suppose at this point it is time for you to stop hiding...although I am not there yet...still feel like the 16 year old girl.

Your conversation with that lady is all too familiar...I wonder how many times we will tell it. I am with you though, I would rather say it than not. I would feel too awful if I didn't.

I have kit kats in my desk here at I have to go eat one, fat friends unite :)

LauraJane said... [Reply to comment]

Those spring rolls look DELICIOUS. Yum!! I'm still in the "I can't stand to cook anything", phase. Scott is very much hoping this ends soon. ha

Glad you're "out". I've had several people give me a stare-down at work, so I know the question is coming... I think it's fairly obvious and I'm not really surprised given that this is our second pregnancy within the year, so my body is just preparing itself to be a fat-ster again. ha.

Ps. Wanna know what I love more than Kit Kats? Wunderbars. Peanut + caramel + chocolate. mmmmm

Molly said... [Reply to comment]

I agree... it is ok for people to know that not all babies get to come home.

Sure wish you could ship me some of those southwest numbers. I'm too lazy to make them. But I sure would eat 'em!

Just the 3 of Us said... [Reply to comment]

I wish I could come over for dinner...all of those recipes sound fabulous! I am going to have to add them to our meal plan!

I can't wait until you are ready to share the baby's name :)

LookItsJessica said... [Reply to comment]

Jerky high school trick or treaters irritate me too! They could easily have a part-time job and buy candy on their own. The stuff I buy is for kids.

Brooke said... [Reply to comment]

Mmm I want you to make me dinner.

I'm so glad you had that conversation. I swear one day I'll be able to talk about Eliza without crying. Until then, most of the time I try to just talk about her and cry.

Tiffany said... [Reply to comment]

i feel like i could have written this post. except my trying to hide has gone on a bit longer. and like you, the jig is up (but i think the jig was up a while ago). pinterest/craftiness has been my salvation.