I'll Be Your Pool Boy

Love me some water but hate the splashing.

 

This, That, and the Other Thing

I texted a friend on Tuesday for a little impromptu lunch and thrift store shopping. Our boys will be friends someday. We hope good friends. She's also a baby loss mama and her first is hanging with my first up in the clouds. I hope our firsts are friends, too. Someday maybe we'll find out.

I've been feeling crafty and apparently nesting has now kicked in since B is now 3 months old. I just couldn't bring myself to think about anything for a baby I wasn't sure would come home with us. I did that with Andrew and felt like a fool when we walked into a home full of baby, but minus the baby. We're considering transitioning B into his nursery soon and out of our room and his co-sleeper where he conveniently thinks awake time happens somewhere around 6 a.m. daily. He's a happy waker, so that's a wonderful thing-- but Mom and Dad aren't exactly with it in the wee morning hours quite like his happy little self. We don't have a dark room and that could be our first rookie mistake. For awhile we did put fitted sheets over the windows (awesomely ghetto) and now said sheets are in B's nursery for when he screams his head off and protests naps. We'll be working to fix that curtain situation sometime this weekend. I've also been dreaming of mobiles as B really enjoys staring lately. It's clear he's trying to figure this whole world out and I want to provide him some stimulation-- though I'm not sure he'll even see the mobile I plan to make with the blackout shades I plan to assemble.

Anyway, the crafts. We're working on things. I emailed a few of my BLM sistahs and asked what they thought about some kind of art piece to go over the crib for my A and B babies. Andrew had a frame with his name in it-- but nothing fancy and it was only a placeholder to begin with. I hated it from the start and still hate it despite loving his name there still. I wanted to somehow incorporate both of my babes into an art piece and create some kind of family keepsake out of the whole thing. Except, I didn't want it to be too juvenile as I'd like to be able to move it once my living kiddos are no longer kiddos and something I could also maybe incorporate baby #3 (when that all goes down-- Lord help us all) shows its face. They had lovely ideas... but I still wasn't biting. I finally decided I'll be using something I thought I hated-- a wall decal. A sticker, if you will. I just love maps and our nursery doesn't really have a theme anyway. It's sort of a hodgepodge of things we like (wildlife, a cool & eclectic ABC chart, bookshelf with fun items I either thrifted or purchased). Not exactly an art piece we'll keep around forever, but I love it nonetheless. Here's the inspiration decal.

I'll be making a mobile this weekend, and typing that makes me all nervous that I'll actually have to show it when done. It will be conjured out of two different ideas:

The birds from here, but in different, bolder shades (5 because Andrew was born on the 5th and I want him in this, too. And of course B was born on the 23rd and if you really stretch out this whole thought, 2+3=5. I know, it's a stretch but it only has to make sense to me, okay? Hah).

And this one based on the use of a natural branch. I will be finding one in our yard because we have approximately 3,482 mature trees that drop these nonstop. Usually we're cursing about having to pick them up. For once I'll be delighted to find one.

All that to get back to my thrift store story. So, my friend and I went to lunch and to this thrift store in our area, Savers, that proceeds are donated to the Epilepsy Foundation. That's nice, but we didn't end up buying anything, though I did spot some delightfully cute Banana Republic & Loft capris that would never fit over my two pregnancies in two years mom butt.

Here were the highlights. Prepare to be entertained.

Oh me. Oh my. What do we have here? The best sign ever? I thought so. 

(p.s. I detest Walmart. Target is where it's at!)

Because you might be in need of two lamb cake molds. Also, that's Wilton. And I heart Wilton. And since I heart Wilton and their warehouse is approximately 5 miles from my house, I will be going to their enormo tent sale promptly on the first day of its opening on June 1.

 Hmm. Thought they might be dead.

 Do you know what that is?

Yeah, that is a mandolin with approximately 30 sharp edges and blades. Lucky infant who gets its hands on that one!

Done thrifting but decided to head on next door to Old Navy to check out the little people clothing options. This one had B's name written all over it. Except I wasn't sure Ray would approve... until I got home and showed him this photo in which he replied, "Why didn't you buy it?"

My friend and I went our separate ways and since B's nap was already thrown out for the day because of all the fun we were having, I hit up a few more stores. One of those being The Land of Nod Outlet. It's still wildly expensive and next to the Crate & Barrel Outlet where we sometimes score great deals... but not much happening that day. I did happen to score this hardback book.

 For a crazy steal of a buck! What? No one likes a peeing boy?

We happen to! That would be the (replica because the other one is locked away somewhere from being stole again) Manneken Pis in Belgium! He's just a wee little lad. Hah.

And for good measure because this has turned into a post that went in all kinds of crazy directions, here are a few more photos from the week:

One of the dinners: Pesto chicken pizza (you can tell which side is mine with the sundried tomatoes and olives instead, obvi)

And cute little B monster, of course...

We hang out on the front lawn a lot. I think he enjoys staring at the swaying trees. And mama needs a break from holding him sometimes. It usually buys me about 30 minutes of time.

 Sleepy chunk

 Still a bit too small for the ol' Johnny Jump Up. I have a feeling he's going to love this thing. He is a big fan of "standing" and looking around. See those blankets stuffed in there? Yeah, not ready quite yet. ;)

 

In the Last Four Hours

(with Monica's Just One of Dem Days, Don't Take it Personal playing in the background)

... I spilled an entire bag of semisweet chocolate chips on the ground while reaching for a box in the baking cabinet. Some genius (me) decided to use scotch tape to secure the very full bag shut. Except it failed. From now on I'm using rubber bands.

... We sat down outside a local cafe after taking a walk and my sunglasses fell on the ground creating three scratches right where my direct vision is.

... I went upstairs and cut myself on my small cosmetic scissors.

... I found melted chocolate all over the inside of my sports bra, breast pad, and skin. That would explain why there was also chocolate on B's bib. You know, from the chocolate I dropped all over the floor earlier that also happened to find its way down my shirt. Chocolate + 90 degrees in Chicago today + sweaty Brandy = messy disaster.

I was starting to feel like Alexander during his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Knowing this was what my day was like, my husband decided to take video of B while I was upstairs and came up to tell me that there was a surprise waiting for me downstairs (and that it was not food. hah.).

Here was my surprise.

The Pie Hole Proposition

Okay, so I've been thinking about food lately. Obviously, right? I practically post like a food blogger lately because it's become so much more of a hobby, especially since I'm staying home with B.

I've given up sugar for months at a time now in the last couple years and really like how that makes me feel. I feel in control and more conscious of what I'm eating. We're not the healthiest of eaters (despite my vegetarianism which does not mean I'm vegan, btw!) but we're not terrible either. We eat a mix of whole foods and some processed foods as well. I was thinking today that since I finally feel like I have this whole yeast and rising thing down in breadmaking that I would stop buying loaves at the store. I just love homemade bread and the store bought stuff just doesn't really compare. Then it got me thinking about other things I've been eating that I could probably consider modifying or making myself rather than buying ready-made.

A friend of mine has been going strong for 2 years on a plant-based diet and dropped all of the heart and blood pressure meds he was taking and lost tons of weight. While I'm not quite ready to go entirely plant-based as I couldn't possibly give up cheese at age 29 with perfect health otherwise, I would like to eat less of the fats, oils, and cheeses and more veggies, fruits, and grains. I just plain don't know how to do that.

Because y'all, I love cheese so. freaking. much. And ice cream. Oh, ice cream. Life is sort of about the indulgences every now and again, I think. And since life's far too short, I don't want to spend my whole life worried about everything I consume either. My kid will be given money to buy from the ice cream truck. And I will not stop eating Magnum ice cream bars or Snickers. But I'd like to make some changes.

What about you all? Ever attempted a plant-based diet yourself or given up certain foods just because you wanted to live healthier? I'm curious.

p.s. From the last post, I just want to add that I am not against attachment parenting and actually follow some of the practices myself. But I just wanted to reiterate that I wish all mothers could encourage one another. Plain and simple. It's a hard enough job as it is without feeling like you're always behind the curve.

To donate to the Rasmussens, please see their donation website. To read their story, click here.

 

(Self) Righteous, Dude.

So I know you've all seen it. Or at least heard about it. You'd be living under a rock not to have read some of the controversy over this publicity stunt by Time. They're just basking in all their readership and news-buzz glory as people rant and rave about their gripes over this cover.

The only part of this whole publicity stunt that bothers me is how that little boy on the cover has been exploited. When he's 13, he's going to be one angry little man who is shamed by his peers-- if this cover comes back to haunt him. And it will, because the Internet will not let you forget. Something tells me he won't want to have photo proof of being attached to his mother's breast on the cover of one of the most well known magazines in the World. 

To the mom, I say, shame on you. Shame on you for exploiting your child like that. You're hardly any different than pageant moms on those cable television shows where children are dressed in scandalous clothing and made to look like Tammy Faye Bakker (RIP, Tammy).

Honestly, for what purpose other than to push your extreme parenting logic on others? Other than exploiting that poor little boy, I am annoyed with this cover (absolutely will not be reading any articles within) because it speaks to promote self righteous parenting. And forgive me for mistaking that if you have read the article, but the cover alone makes it to look like a beastly argument, right?

Why is it anyone's business (other than a safety issue) how you choose to parent your child? If I want to breastfeed until my child is three, I will. If I want to formula feed, I will. I just don't understand why once a woman has living children to parent that everyone and their mother... and their mother's mother finds the need to criticize or judge one another for their choices. What's it to you? Didn't we all choose to have children because we want to share our lives with them and bring them up to be wonderful, loved individuals? Someone tell me how breastfeeding made your child any better of a citizen than the next person who chose not to or could not? Yes, I breastfeed and I love it. But I would never criticize someone who chose not to because it's none of my stinking business. And in the grand scheme of life (yes, a life we should be just plain thankful to have in our arms), what does it really matter?

I just hope we all remember that the best parents provide for their children in safe and healthy ways. Who's to say one person is better than another because such things have become "popular" in society? I think being a BLM even enrages me more because I've worked so stinking hard to get to the parenting part of life with a living child and then I have to listen to other parents so concerned about exactly how I am choosing to do this or that-- when all I want to do is scream from the rooftops that, OMG, My child is alive! I'm a lot less concerned about strict sleep schedules or whether I've already looked into preschool programs.

There you go, Time. You got the best of me.

But oh. If you smoke around your children or drive erratically, I will totally judge you. Because some women would kill (cats) to have all of our children living with us and you go off risking the lives of the ones who were spared. 

To donate to the Rasmussens, please see their donation website. To read their story, click here.

 

Pregnancy Revisited

I'm just now starting to really think back on my pregnancy with B. For these last couple months I've been thankfully distracted and purposefully trying to extricate myself from the mess that it caused me mentally and emotionally. It's really quite damaging.

To think pregnancy would ever be as carefree as society makes it out to be. And the paradox of the whole 9 months it seems is that it is all of those things; wonderful and terrifying all at once. It's magical. And in the same breath, it's frightening. It's amazing to consider that a human life is created within ones body and then goes on to start that whole cycle again. And no more than a breath later will I tell you that the very last sentence I typed also makes the risk so incredibly high that it's almost not worth it. Almost. But wow is the reward rich. If all goes well, of course. Otherwise it could be right up there as the greatest failure of your life.

If those baby showers and nightly prayers and belly creams could just ward off the fear and trepidation that is held within each breath of pregnancy for a baby loss mother. Because we know better.

It's because of this fear that I'm already looking ahead to my next, and hopefully final pregnancy. I already well up with fear just thinking about it, but I know if we wait too long, I'll be as mess, too. I'm not talking about babies anytime this year, but it wouldn't be crazy to assume that we'd jump back on the crazy train of emotion and fear next year at some point. I want B to have another living sibling to grow with. In order for that to occur, I need to accept the fact that pregnancy will be in my somewhat near future. And the longer I wait seems even crazier because that would be stringing myself along in this fear and anxiety of pregnancy and loss and potential further loss if we wait years. I can't imagine going back to this insanity in a few years and digging up those skeletons of emotion to wear on my sleeve (or on this blog).

It's almost like pregnancy itself is like reliving loss or a loss itself. It's that traumatic as you hold your breath and cry, begging and pleading that you won't be chosen for the reaping this go around {Yes, I totally did just use a Hunger Games reference. But it was fitting, no?}.

I'm reveling in the fact that I am for once in these last few years not wishing myself pregnant. It feels bizarre. I'm enjoying parenthood with all its ups and downs and just so extremely thankful we made it past the finish line with only emotional scars that will hopefully fade to absence by the time I'm past my childbearing years. My childloss scars will always be present, but these pregnancy scars may fade away.

Physically, I'm nearly back into my jeans after a month off sweets and eating much healthier than I was during pregnancy. It wasn't crazy to assume that I could dust off 1/2 box of Cheezits because I totally could and did on many occasions. Whatever got me through the day with a live child a growin'. Now that he's here and still sustaining life through me, I feel the need to make up for lost time somehow. Eat better and be more conscious of what is being consumed for his health and my overall mental and physical health as well. Every stretch mark and every inch of wear and tear was worth it. For both of my children. The one I parent for the world to see, and the one I parent in my heart.

To donate to the Rasmussens, please see their donation website. To read their story, click here.

Pinned it. Made it. Loved it.

A couple vegetarian recipes coming at you courtesy of Pinterest.

I have been attempting to get B to sleep in his crib during naptime, which is also a new thing. I've been attempting to put him down for an official late nap around 2 or 3 each day. It's mostly to get him used to the idea and get him comfortable sleeping in the crib on his back. He couldn't hate laying on his back more... but we're breaking him of it, I think. He's not one of those kids I'm going to brag about sleeping through the night, because he's not. We average about 4-5 hours straight and then the rest of the night is sort of a mess. Our longest stint was 7 hours and I woke up worried because it was such a weird occurrence. However, during his naps, I'm sometimes able to get creative in the kitchen before dinner. Here are a few of those instances.

I bought a bag of Bob's Red Mill Polenta and really wanted to find a fun way to make it. That, and I love Mexican food and thought it would be a fun alternative to tortillas and pretty darn healthy. I typed polenta into the search bar on Pinterest and viola. Dinner was all figured out.

Source: friendsforweightloss.com via Brandy on Pinterest

Black Bean and Polenta Casserole
INGREDIENTS

• 1/2 cup black beans
• 1 cup organic polenta
• 3 cups water
• Salt
• 4 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, grated (about 1 cup)
•  1 1/2 cups of your favorite salsa
• The kitchen sink: whatever else you want to add-- I added chicken for Ray's, diced bell pepper, olives, diced green chiles & cilantro and guac to the top.

INSTRUCTIONS

1.  Bring 3 cups salted water to a boil in a heavy-duty sauce pan. With water boiling, pour polenta in a steady stream, stirring constantly to avoid lumps. Turn down the heat to medium and cook, stirring frequently, until smooth. You should barely see individual grains of cornmeal.
2.  Spread half the cooked polenta into a 9×9 baking dish (I used two small casserole dishes I bought at Crate & Barrel which are great for cooking one meatless and one with meat). Add anything you want to the center (black beans, chicken, peppers, salsa, cheese), then add polenta to cover the top.
3.  Bake in a 350°F oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until cheese is melted.

Almost forgot to photograph the result! Hearty, delicious, and on the list to make again. The one change I would make is adding some seasoning while cooking the polenta-- in this case maybe a little chili powder or cayenne. Anyone else have good polenta recipes? I have a whole bag of the stuff...

Next up is a simple one... popcorn. No chemicals added in a compostable brown paper bag even! It wasn't much effort, but I was interested in a snack and being on this no-sugar self-induced diet of sorts, I wanted something healthy. I even emailed Brooke later to tell her it was a success (being the avid popcorn lover that she is) and she told me popcorn is high in fiber. Even better!

Here's the recipe:
Measure popcorn and pour into a paper bag (I used 1/8 cup but for a decent serving, I'd do 1/4 cup per person. Fold the bag twice. Pop in the microwave for about 3 minutes. I then added a dash of cayenne and some sea salt because that's how I like it.

Source: squawkfox.com via Brandy on Pinterest

For dinner last night, I made something that's been on the list for a long time. Here's a saving money tip for you all: buy reduced cost yogurt that hasn't yet expired but will in the next few days and freeze it. It can be used in smoothies (which I drink almost everyday: OJ, yogurt, banana, strawberry) no matter the expiration and you got a deal on it, of course! This is a great way to get cheap Greek yogurt when paying $1/container isn't something that excites you. My Safeway affiliate market always has yogurts on clearance that are a week from expiration.

Anyway, I'm fabulous at tangents. I bought a small container of Greek yogurt yesterday  for 50 cents and knew I was committing to this recipe. Greek yogurt is not only high in protein and all kinds of good stuff, but it's low in fat-- or in this case, fat free. I'm not a cream sauce fan because of the high fat content. While this didn't add tons of flavor (it is plain yogurt, after all), it made a very healthy alternative to a creamy tomato sauce with hidden nutrients to boot!

Source: backtoherroots.com via Brandy on Pinterest

Penne Pasta with Tomato Cream Sauce, Spinach, and Whatever Else You Want (because let's be honest... I never follow a recipe entirely)

Ingredients

• 1 package whole wheat penne
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 pinch crushed red pepper flakes
• 2 medium tomatoes (about 1/2 lb.) chopped
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• 4 cups fresh spinach
• 1/2 cup marinara sauce
• 1/3 cup 0% plain Greek yogurt
• 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

Instructions

1. Cook penne according to package directions, omitting salt and fat. Drain and set aside.
2. In a large skillet with a lid, heat olive oil over medium-low heat. Add in garlic and red pepper flakes, cook for 2 minutes or until garlic begins to soften.
3. Add in tomatoes, salt and pepper. Cook for a few minutes.
4. Remove from heat, add in spinach and cover skillet. Let spinach wilt for 2 minutes.
5. Remove lid and place skillet back over low heat. Add the penne, Greek yogurt and pasta sauce. Stir until sauce is mixed well and all pasta and veggies are coated. Heat until just warmed through. Divide into pasta bowls and serve topped with parmesan cheese.

And because B decided his nap would be a long one yesterday, I had time to be even more creative. I wanted to serve some kind of bread (because double carbs rock! And we all know my obsession with bread lately) but didn't have any worthy. To Pinterest I went! I typed in breadsticks and searched three different recipes until this one seemed right. And OH WAS IT! This is officially my go-to recipe for pizza dough and breadsticks from here on out.

Source: ourbestbites.com via Brandy on Pinterest

Breadsticks (I recommend visiting the website because he has step-by-step picture instructions)
Ingredients
1 1/2 c. warm (105-115 degrees) water
1 Tbsp. sugar
1 Tbsp. yeast
1/2 tsp. salt
3-4 1/2 c. flour

Instructions
1. In your KitchenAid mixer (with pastry dough fork), combine water, sugar, and yeast. Let stand for 10 minutes or until yeast is bubbly.
2. Add salt and stir. Add 1 1/2 c. flour and mix well. Gradually add more flour (usually between 3-4 cups, depending on your elevation and your humidity) until dough starts to pull away from the sides of the bowl and it barely sticks to your finger.
3. Spray a glass or metal bowl with cooking spray and place dough in the bowl. Cover and allow to rise for 45 minutes or until doubled in bulk.
4. Remove from bowl and place on a lightly-floured surface. Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray. Roll into a rectangle and cut into 12 strips with a pizza cutter.
5. Twist the dough. Place on baking sheet and repeat with remaining 11 pieces of dough. Try to space them evenly, but it’s okay if they’re close.
6. Cover pan and allow dough to rise for another 30 minutes.
7. When there’s about 15 minutes to go, preheat your oven to 425. When done rising, bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Rub some butter on top of the breadsticks (just put a Ziploc bag on your hand, grab some softened butter, and have at it) and sprinkle with garlic bread seasoning or whatever you want. That garlic bread seasoning is awesome. I used it and loved it.

Just like the pretzels, Ray insisted we have these again tomorrow. Lucky for him, there are 5 left over since it does make 12 breadsticks. I may have eaten 4 myself last night. So much for that self-induced diet, right?

Finally, I'm going to be posting this at the bottom of my posts for awhile because I'm just so dang distraught about this family losing their sweet daughter after losing their son last year. I placed a donation to help cover some of the medical costs and because they are looking into surrogacy since not only did her uterine rupture take the life of her daughter, but she was told that getting pregnant again would be too risky. They desperately want a family like we all do. If you'd like to visit Becky's blog, go here. And for the donation page (also linked through the blog) go here.

 

Another One Slowly Approaches

Mother's Day, that is.

As my friend Caroline put it in her recent post about the subject, I don't want to celebrate a bereaved Mother's Day because through and through...

I am a mother. Not just a bereaved mother. A real mother to two incredibly gorgeous boys. The only thing that sets me apart from those regular mothers is knowing what it was like to say goodbye. To live the rest of my years wondering and loving a child too far from my arms to touch. My motherhood started long ago when my hopes and dreams of being a mother were realized in March of 2010. That was going to be our year. Shoot, it already had been. We had just stepped back on U.S. soil not two weeks before after having my very last margarita (before ttc). We moved into our home. The home we bought to raise children in. For them to call home. It wasn't a home for us-- the two of us with far too much space to surround us. So many rooms unused. We dreamed of what it would be like the following year.

2010 was going to be our year.

No more than 2 months prior we were gallivanting around Venice, Paris, and Barcelona just enjoying the carefree lifestyle of being a couple without any inhibitions. Without borders. Without too much responsibility. We had it all and then some. We were blessed. We were thankful. We were in awe that our lives could be so grand. Wonderful marriage. Incredible explorations all over the globe. Purchasing a beautiful home where our future children would call their own. It all seemed so perfect.

And it was.

A bump in the road around the end of my first trimester with Andrew proved to be challenging, but we got through it. Skin cancer is curable. Treatable. We are strong. Our little boy was to be born that year as well, so how could that get us down?

And then it happened. The birth of our son. The son who made me a mother. An extremely proud, brokenhearted mother. 2010 equals bittersweet for me. So many highs and so many lows.

As this Mother's Day approaches, like all of them over these 3 years, I'm somber. I'll always see this day as a day to remember the beautiful face of a son I will forever cherish. Forever protect. While I hope future Mothers' Days are filled with sloppily painted pictures from children still developing those fine motor skills and breakfasts made by little hands, I'll always remember what Mother's Day means to me.

It means I was able to carry beautiful children that were both me and my husband and love on them for as long as I was/am blessed to have them.

 

When Sad, Bake.

I've been sad lately and just feel so helpless. Our baby loss community continues to be rocked and there's simply nothing any of us can do about it. Knowing what it's like to be in those shoes has me all frustrated because I know there isn't anything any of us can do to care for a friend in mourning. I found that one of the best ways to distract myself is to get in the kitchen and make something. It's what I spent a good portion of the last 17 months doing after we lost Andrew and what I spent the majority of my pregnancy with B doing.

I don't know what it is. I think my mind is allowed to be set free when I am creating. And since I'm not too entertained by actual craft projects, my craft is in the kitchen. Even if it's a failure (and often it is), I still enjoy the process of creation. This type of failure is easy. And what my husband told me the other day after I made a new dish for dinner that wasn't the best-- you miss all of the shots you don't take in life. As small of a situation as that was, we have to come to the understanding that no matter how much life can fail us, we have to take the risk. In relation to baby loss, I am sure most of us can agree that our children were worth the effort-- even if our time with them was too short and we spend the rest of our lives wondering and wishing it ended up differently. We're worse for wear but richer in love. I hope Becky and her family feel the love and support we are trying to provide and I hope they are thankful for each moment they had with their daughter. It doesn't provide any consolation for having to say goodbye to their beautiful daughter and it surely doesn't erase the anger and frustration, but we hope that of all things, love abounds.

My latest project that I've made twice already (both Sunday and Monday!) are pretzel bites. I saw these on Pinterest and quickly thought back to my struggles with baking in general and how Ray and I attempted to make bagels when we were newly married and failed miserably at it. I surely thought pretzels would be an enormous fail as it requires the same general steps as a bagel would-- boiling and baking. Oh, and there's yeast involved. That right there might just spell disaster because science steps in and offers to screw everything up. But, this was a success. A huge success. So much of a success that we sat there eating nearly all of the pretzel bites within minutes of them coming out of the oven. I can see honey wheat pretzels and cinnamon sugar pretzels and cheesy pretzel bites in our future.

Recipe: Homemade Pretzel Bites (from All Recipes.com)

• 1 1/8 cups water (70 to 80 degrees F)
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
• 8 cups water
• 1/2 cup baking soda
• coarse salt to sprinkle
• 3 tablespoons melted butter

Add first four ingredients and mix in a stand mixer on level 2 for about 5 minutes. Roll into small, 1-inch balls.

Take 8 cups of water and 1/2 cup baking soda and bring to a boil. Drop about 6 balls of dough in at a time and remove them with a slotted spoon after about 15 seconds.

Drop them onto a paper towel so the water can drain. Repeat until all have been boiled.

Once boiling process is done, place each one on an oiled cookie sheet. I used olive oil.

Bake at 425 degrees for 8-10 minutes on the middle rack. I watched them once it hit the 8-minute mark and allowed them to brown well until about 10 minutes.

Melt a few tablespoons of butter and baste the top of each one-- well. The more butter, the better it will taste, obviously. Sprinkle with coarse salt. I actually have pretzel salt leftover from those frozen Super Pretzel packages. They always provide way too much salt.

Enjoy. I'd eat them within a day-- even hours maybe-- because after awhile they start to lose their pretzel-like texture and taste more like a dense piece of buttered bread. From start to finish, no more than 30 minutes. No waiting for bread to rise or anything like that. These taste just like those mall buttered pretzel places, you guys. So incredibly delicious.