Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Full Circle

This is just one of the series of birthday week posts, but I felt like it deserved its own.

This day is big, you guys. Remember this post last year?

Huge. Monumental. It's the day we brought one of our babies home for the very first time. It was magical. On the way home, I snapped about a hundred photos of Benjamin staring confused about his new surroundings that didn't involve bright lights and alarms everywhere like the NICU. Just the flash of the camera as we drove away with excitement and adrenaline fueling us.

We cried on the way home as we talked about how it felt like we were being followed home by the NICU nurses we fought so hard to release our baby. How the feeling was so surreal and bringing home one of our children was all we'd dreamed about for nearly two years.

We arrived home and fed Benjamin, swaddled him, and laid him on our bedroom floor as we took turns staring at him and switching off to feverishly tear apart the nursery that was left in shambles from when we lost Andrew. We didn't want to count our chickens that Benjamin would be coming home with us, so we had a lot to do to make things functional.

We were exhausted, but wanted to soak in every moment of this baby. He brought so much love with him and we needed it all. We need it all.

Tonight at 6:30 p.m., we celebrate. With champagne. Benjamin will celebrate with a sippy cup of milk. 


LauraJane said... [Reply to comment]

"We brought so much love with him and we needed it all. We need it all."<-- Totally.

I remember this all too well.

So glad he's brought that love with him, and seems to have made even more around him since he's been here.


My New Normal said... [Reply to comment]

Celebrating the day you brought him home. What a wonderful idea! I think we will have to do the same with Frostina.

Enjoy your champagne!!

Solange, Nik, Caitlin and Oliver said... [Reply to comment]

HUGE moment. SO happy for you guys. What a ride you've been on....enjoy you champagne and your sweet boy.

Caroline said... [Reply to comment]

It's so crazy to see those first little bitty pictures and you see the face of your big boy in them. It's like "oh, there's that one year old I know and love - he's just in newborn form" And they look the exact same and totally different all in one.

Melissa said... [Reply to comment]

I remember Benjamin being born and your post about his birth so clearly. I remember I just found out I was pregnant with Lily and you had him...oh I was so filled with hope that it was possible. I have loved watching Benjamin grow up this year. Thank you for sharing him with us. Happy birthday, sweet boy!

Party of Three Heads said... [Reply to comment]

Such a beautiful post....

RyAnne Carr said... [Reply to comment]

"we needed it all.We need it all."-Ill second that. There is something about your rainbow baby's first birthday that just seems so necessary in the whole grief process. Its like Abigail's birthday helped me continue living even now, so far from Caleb. I dont really know how to explain it, but I needed it.Enough said. Hope the party was fun! He is such an adorable little boy!

Nicole said... [Reply to comment]

So perfect and small, and now so big (and still perfect)!

JoyAndSorrow said... [Reply to comment]

I can't believe it's been a year. I remember reading about how scary things were for you at times (including the trauma of Benjamin's breathing episode), and I was so terrified to try and have a rainbow. And now mine is here too. It feels so good to be "on the other side".

Happy Birthday sweet Benjamin!!!

Di said... [Reply to comment]

Welling up on this post. I remember this feeling and how awesome it is... So something to celebrate, our beautiful babies at home with us. xx Di