Saturday, November 22, 2014

Consistently Inconsistent

The journey in parenting a toddler continues to confuse the crap out of me.

He will go weeks without tantrums and psychotic behavior, and then turns a corner and goes almost nowhere and does almost nothing without throwing himself on the floor in rage.

He goes weeks and weeks using the potty at home and then goes weeks refusing to use it at all.

He eats all three meals like a champ and then the next day is given the exact same favorite foods and eats almost no bites.

He went years happily bathing at night and not wanting to get out of the tub to not wanting to take any form of bath or shower at all in the last few weeks. Don't come too close to this kid, he probably hasn't used soap in awhile.

There's just about nothing that makes sense with him. It's all about negotiation and bartering. The thing is, we weren't trained in lunatic mind-reading.

I don't get it.

Hashtag crazy toddler.

Hashtag exhausted parents.

Hashtag just potty train already because you are almost three. omg omg omg.

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Question of the day: We will be bootcamping his little rump pretty soon here. What's the best thing to do at night and naptime? Go all-in and let him pee the bed until he can control it? Put a potty in his room in case he wakes and has to go (he's locked in for safety). Throw on a pull-up/diaper and let him use that, potentially making this whole night training thing last f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Sound off.


Caroline said... [Reply to comment]

We used pull ups at nap for several months after he was potty trained during the day and eventually he was waking up with them dry so he switched to underwear. Still in a diaper at night and I'm not sweating it. Either he will eventually start to keep it dry (which I encourage each night) or we will have to start some night training, but the night can take longer for some kids so I don't really care. Also, No interest in changing sheets in the middle of the night.

Amelia said... [Reply to comment]

I did not stress one bit until G was 3. And boys train later than girls. He will not go to kinder in a diaper, don't put so much pressure on either of you right now. It will click, I promise. Tears do not need to be a requirement. I have no food suggestions as I spend 99% of my day saying JUST EAT FOOD. Also I feel like my kid was born a pain in the ass. So temper tantrums and RUDE TONES seem to be eternal.

Mihaela said... [Reply to comment]

I went all in for nap but we still use pull-ups at night.

Brie said... [Reply to comment]

Now that I have pull-ups at my disposal, I use pull-ups at nap with a potty in his room so he can go during nap and bedtime, although he wakes wet every single morning. Naps are hit and miss. I'm with Caroline-no interest in changing sheets at 2:00am. Call me lazy but I've got a baby (like you) and sleep is sacred (: it will come in due time. I know the pain of tantruming toddlers, it seems like Sal turns into a drunken college frat boy every afternoon about 3:30--making bad decision after bad decision. There's no reasoning with him and some days I just want to cry. I like consistency, and thrive on routine...leave it to my almost three year old to throw it all out the window.

LookItsJessica said... [Reply to comment]

I would definitely be putting his lil butt in a pull-up at night. Like someone else said, sleep is sacred and you need it! Changing sheets at 2am? God no! I don't have experience training boys (sigh...) but I know my friends with toddler boys are almost exclusively all putting them to bed in pull-ups at 2-3 years old. And I know my brother was in pull ups like... for a LONG time. I put A in pull-ups at night for like a week and she woke up dry after a few days and now she is all-in. I didn't really feel I had to do anything but I know that's not the norm and I got lucky this time around.

I'm so glad you said you negotiate and bargain, so do I! I don't know if I like it, because I would prefer she just listen to me and follow the rules but its ALL about bargaining. Our big deal right now is trying to allow her to walk around in stores next to us instead of sitting in the carts which she hates. I tried this at Target (solo) and she ran from me so many times! Aren't they supposed to be timid and cling to their mama? Not her! So much bargaining (if you run away, you have to sit in the cart. If you hold my hand and listen, we can go look at Frozen toys etc) GAH! Toddlers are like little miniature angry drunks!

Sneaker Teacher said... [Reply to comment]

I totally hear you! Grace is such a sweet, smart little girl, but boy can she break out the whiny voice and resist everything we ask her to do! It is so hard, especially when I am trying to get both her and Sammy to/from daycare (lugging what feels like 40 different bags while carrying the carseat). Also, she can turn the switch in a second...she's whining and crying then all of a sudden, she's fine. I agree, very confusing!

Laura Jane said... [Reply to comment]

I sometimes wish to fight my toddler. Because she's CRAZY.

:) Benjamin is also nuts, but he's cute and so it works for him.

Kari said... [Reply to comment]

I have an almost seven year old and a fourteen year old and they turned out pretty good.
My three year old trained at age 4, yep. Never wore a pull up and trained in one week. My pediatrician encouraged waiting and said, trust me, if you wait, she will train in a week. Yep.

My youngest, who had ADHD, also didn't show interest until 4 (I should mention that it was right after their 4th birthday and they didn't start preschool until after that), but she did wear a pull up. Until half way through kindergarten, which we learned is normal for children with ADHD.

My point? Do what you think is right for Benjamin. You won't scar him for life, he won't remember a thing so if putting him in a pull up gives you some sanity, do it. If putting a potty in his room does, do it. Do what will make it go smoother for you. Because being a mommy isn't an easy job.


Party of Three Heads said... [Reply to comment]

Have I ever emailed you the "potty training in 3 days method?" Not sure if you'd be interested in reading it, or even trying it. As far as through the night? I bought a pack of pull ups, and he refused to wear them.. lol so we tried it through the night, in just boxers, and he did exceptionally well. Don't let my great story fool you, it wasn't a bed of roses by any means. He sort of refused the potty training by me, and it was his baby sitter that did 85% of the hard work, and while he was pottying for her all through the day for the first week, when we were at home he would refuse to go for me. But sooner or later he got over his stubbornness, and wa-lah. Boys are so hormonal, too. I swear. He's been potty trained - through the night at 28 months, and since then we've maybe had 8 accidents. (Invest in a mattress protector if you haven't already) And I would say those have been more recent as opposed to when he first potty trained. Also, if you do let him go with out a pull up through the night, how about have him yell for you if he does wake up to potty, and you can go in and get him. That's what Colston would do, because usually he was scared to get up by himself. I could go on for days, but email me if you want me to forward that to you, or have any questions about what I did (or what his baby sitter did) hah!

Party of Three Heads said... [Reply to comment]
This comment has been removed by the author.
SuzyQpon said... [Reply to comment]

Don't stress him (or yourself) out over potty training. My son literally went from "Nope, no way" to trained, without accident, in 3 weeks time. It will just click one day. As for night, that takes a lot longer than day training. When they are that young, they simply don't wake up. My son was trained at 2 years, 7 months. He wore Pull-Ups for nap until 3 1/2 and at night until just after 4. I can imagine 2 in diapers is NOT fun but this too shall pass. Hang in there!

Jenny said... [Reply to comment]

Why not ask Benjamin? Since he seems hell bent on gaining control and exerting his opinion... just offer him the choice at sleep times, don't react strongly to his choice or "a miss/wet sheets," and praise him up and down for his successes. He thinks he wins, but you really win because there's no argument and he's still the one responsible for his body ;-)

Veronica said... [Reply to comment]

Now now...what's the fun in a predictable toddler ;).