Benjamin Babble IV

Scene: In the garage and B is on his scooter (which always lasts about 4.7 seconds). Don't be impressed.

Me: "Where are you going?"

B: "I am going to storytime."

Me: "It's too far to go on a scooter (about 3.5 miles)."

B: "I can handle far away."

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Scene: Sitting on top of the playground equipment at a local park. Benjamin insists I play. He has just handed me the Bud Light blue football necklace we picked up as swag from a local geocache (that I didn't know was that when he asked if he could have it). I stick the necklace between two frisbees and start jiggling it around to make noise.

B: "This is not a time for play." (Anyone want to continue on from the Go Dog, Go! book? -- literature is powerful, hah!)

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Scene: B is in the backseat of the car playing with the old school GPS while I'm driving. I've recently started turning it on and sending us to destinations (I generally already know directions) to occupy him, because he loves the technology and maybe to teach him left and right

B: "Fix this, Mom. It's making me a crabby pattie." (I call Claire that when she's being crabby.)

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Scene: Sitting on the deck eating dinner together.

B: "What is Claire having for dinner?"

C: "Gobble, gobble."

B: "Are you a chicken, Claire?"

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Scene: Claire returns from the living room with a small bouncing ball. She attempts to balance it on her head and then let it fall (having seen me do this before).

B: "That's cute, Lady Bird."

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Scene: At the dining table finishing reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear.

B: "We will read that again tomorrow."

Me: "We like that book, don't we?"

B: "I want that book again."

[Claire hears the words I want and immediately assumes he's going to snatch it from her hands. This time he wasn't going for it.]

C: Growling, "Noooo!"

B: "Claire is being a crabby pattie because she is not sharing with me. She is not being kind. Claire, we need to be kind to each other." (Please see the latest Instagram video of Benjamin being "kind".)

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Scene: Claire spills blueberries out of the container and all over the floor.

B: "I will clean them up. I will go get my sweeper thing." (Cleaning is an extremely rare unicorn-like sighting in our home.)

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Scene: Benjamin is attempting to fork his mini penne pasta alone at the table.

B: "Oh, they are falling off. Mom, my bites are not playing fair. They fall off my fork."

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