They're pretty skilled at just about everything. They both swim proficiently and ride bikes and the older can read and is partially fluent in Spanish. They're awesome.
The oldest is also very cooperative and listens the first time. He's well-mannered and behaves and is typical of a firstborn.
Their youngest is a little wilder, tends to be more mischievous, must be asked many times to complete a task and often will answer with the naughty "no" instead of being agreeable. Typical second born.
We have local friends whose kids are identical and identical in ages, too. Sure wish they were in town to meet! Their family dynamics and similarities are off the charts (Marriotts!).
My friend (the mom) commented about Benjamin not being typical of a firstborn and more of a second born. And while he isn't a firstborn (and she knows), what does that say about birth order family dynamic when the firstborn died at birth? While Benjamin is not the firstborn, he very well should be assuming the role, right? He's never lived with an older sibling and it hasn't changed his daily dynamic. Is it in the gene makeup of the kid? Was he born with second-born traits because he actually is the second born?
The speculations and what-ifs of life with Andrew continue always. It makes me angry knowing that I'll never know what the family dynamic would be like if Andrew were here. What I do know is that if my second born had his firstborn brother here, things would be a whole lot sweeter (and the second born might be more mellow). Parenting after loss is all kinds of loaded. Among the many things I wish I had after losing Andrew, I wish I just knew what he would've been like and how he would have shaped our family. The ever gaping hole will always be present.
|Can you guess their wild card? You easily know mine. ;)|