Thursday, September 3, 2015

Benjamin Babble V

Scene: Benjamin returning from the bathroom, appearing defeated.

B: "My body says no, I can't go poop. It's tricking me. It just says no."


Scene: Benjamin is upset at Claire for breaking the baby wipe he was using to clean.

B: {scolding} "Zero shows for you, Claire. That means no shows for you, Claire. No more broking my wipes, Claire."


B: {sniff} "You smell good. You smell fresh. I'm going to sit with you {pushes over chair}. When I want to sit with you, give me a little spot."
Me: {moves over a bit}
B: "Thank you for giving me a little space."


Scene: Driving in the car, chatting.

B: "I have long hair. I need to cut it. I need to comb it."
Me: "Does Claire have any hair?"
B: "Claire doesn't have any hair yet."
Me: "She doesn't?"
B: "I will get some more for her at the store."


Scene: Reading Benjamin a National Geographic Kid's Magazine and telling him Panda Bears are born without fur.

Me: "That means they have no hair when they are born."
{Pause, turn to the next page.}
B: "Claire Mae Wilson doesn't have any hair."


B: "You can sit in this chair, Mama. You are going to be a big boy soon."
Me: "Can I be a big girl instead?"
B: "You will be a big boy tomorrow. You will have a penis, okay?"


B: "You are not allowed to have these (beads) Claire. You put them in your mouth and that's not okay. You were not coperating (cooperating)."


Scene: Showing me a DVD that had a chewed up corner.

B: "Did Claire chewed on this?"
Me: "Probably."
B: {scolding} "Seriously, Claire? Don't chewed on this!"


Scene: Chatting in the car.

B: "Mommy has the same house and Daddy has the same house and Claire has the same house. All of my people have the same house!"


Scene: Driving to the park.

B: "You can't put skunscreen on us; it's a shaded park."


Scene: Chatting about the rain outside. It went from nothing to bucketing.

B: "We better close our windows. It will rain on our head and we will not get hunky anymore and we will cry, cry, cry."

... {minutes later, stops raining}

B: "It's not raining anymore. It stopped raining. Maybe it went on vacation."


Scene: Random chatting while driving somewhere.

B: "If you go in the street, a car will hit you and you will have to go to the dentist and you will have problems."


KMG2010 said... [Reply to comment]

I love these tidbits!

Brooke said... [Reply to comment]

Dang, that kid has life figured OUT. I love his perspective.

Also, good luck with getting your penis tomorrow.

Mama Bear said... [Reply to comment]

Haha! I'm glad you're writing this stuff down! I try to jot it down quick but often I forget :(

Amelia said... [Reply to comment]

BAHAHAHA!! I love these!!

Molly said... [Reply to comment]

Claire Mae Wilson has no hair hahhahahhahHhhhHahhahhahahH

Caroline said... [Reply to comment]

I love that he realized all of his people have the same house.

What a goofy and fascinating little cutie!

Alison G. said... [Reply to comment]

These are getting better and better! We also used "skunscreen" for a while.

LookItsJessica said... [Reply to comment]

"Claire Mae Wilson doesn't have any hair" HAHA! Adorable!