It's been almost a month since I've come to this space. I haven't had much time to read blogs, let alone write them. My head has been in so many places and this post is barely scratching the surface.
We had some good friends move yesterday. They're only 4 hours away, but they were a family who totally rallied around us when Andrew died. They were good (new) friends before, but morphed into great friends after. It's rare that loss can bring friendships closer, especially with those who haven't experienced any child loss themselves. They defied the odds on that one and we're abundantly grateful. They stayed with us the final five nights here in Illinois and it was so nice.
I drove in the direction of their former house today while running errands and was saddened by it all. We've lived here almost exactly 5.5 years and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the itch to go. There's a lot in that statement, but mostly it's just being a nomad at heart and loving the adventure in life. Surely stability is immensely important for children and I get that. I married an adventurer and we love to explore. Having great friends move on to their new adventure doesn't help tame that spirit.
I've been working on a dresser for Claire's big girl room that's been painted white. I added crystal knobs and it's about 99% done. I just need to get a little sandpaper out for the drawers to fit just right. Blog reveal to come.
Benjamin's school is going incredibly well. We love his teacher and I attended his curriculum night a week ago. I had to fight back tears a number of times for so many reasons: Andrew, missing my career in the classroom and also because I was just so at ease that Benjamin was in the perfect place for him. We made the right choice.
We stay after school every day to play at the park in front of his school. It's convenient because I can bring a lunch, there are similar-aged school friends available to play, Claire can partake and I can get a little social time in with other adults. If we went straight home, we'd be isolated at home having lunch and there'd just be more crumbs in the dining room. One mom often shows up from across town to take her youngest just to the park because this particular park has a firetruck that he loves. (He even wears his firetruck shirt each time.) She's come enough times now that they starting packing a lunch just to eat with us. We either walk home with the stroller or drive home. If walking, we have a routine of stopping by at this disc swing on our way home that's hanging in one of my neighbor's side yard. And then it's off for home and nap and afternoon adventuring. This will all change when the cold weather sets in.
That's probably part of my interest to adventure and run; winter. I hate winter and I especially hate December. After August and the end of summer comes the -ber months of which start out nice and end cold and painful.
With this summer being so incredibly awesome having a perfect vacation, Benjamin growing out of his terrible-two-three-ness, Claire being big enough to walk and rally, Benjamin learning to swim, and taking advantage of the outdoors at every chance we can get, we're just not ready for it to end.
We decorated for Halloween a bit today and Benjamin ran around for a few hours in a costume I picked up this morning on a whim. At least October is looking promising.
Heartbreak and Healing
1 year ago