Saturday, May 21, 2011


Is anyone else just plain tired? Not physically tired, but emotionally drained. That's how I've been feeling for the past couple days. Of course that doesn't mean the well has dried, because I still sob often enough.

I was watching Oprah last night before bed (we have re-runs near midnight in Chicago) and Oprah was reminiscing of her favorite guests over the years as her 25-year run comes to a close. This little boy, Mattie Stepanek, was on there:
My mom bought me the book his mother wrote, Messenger, but I haven't read it yet. Sometimes I just can't deal with reading about more babies and children dying. And sometimes reading about these misfortunes is the only thing that gets me through my own darkness.

Back to this little boy. What an incredible inspiration. He and his 3 siblings were all born with muscular dystrophy. His mom was the carrier and passed it on to all four children without knowing it. She buried four babies who lived and died. He lived the longest, until age 13. I can't even come close to giving justice to how wonderfully courageous this little boy was-- I was crying just knowing that someone so wonderful and inspirational would be taken at such a young age.

When I Die (Part II) 
Excerpt of original poem written by Mattie

When I die, I want to be
A child in Heaven.
I want to be
A ten-year-old cherub.
I want to be
A hero in Heaven,
And a peacemaker,
Just like my goal on earth.

For knowing you're going to die, he has such a positive outlook on life and death at such a young age. I only wish I had half the wisdom this boy of (well under) half my age had. It's such an honor to know Andrew is in heaven with someone like him.

Okay, sobbing again. Tired.


Becky said... [Reply to comment]

I never watch Oprah yet somehow channel surfing yesterday I saw this and had to watch. Very sad

LauraJane said... [Reply to comment]

Wow, what an incredible little boy.

Molly said... [Reply to comment]

so odd--as i opened this, my dvr version of oprah from that day was playing and i'd left the room when he came on bc i knew it would be sad. i will go back and watch it now. also, yes, tired. not physically like you said. emotionally. mentailly. so. tired. lia was saying the same thing this week too. greiving is exhausting.

Keleen said... [Reply to comment]

Oh yes, I am so tired as well...I was going to write a post about it, but...I was too tired! I am just drained from the inside out.

Anne - Mommy Has to Work said... [Reply to comment]

That is so sad, I cried too!