Thursday, June 28, 2012

Processing...

Thank you, everyone. Baby loss friends, non-loss friends, complete strangers, B's grandmothers, lurkers... everyone. Ray reads the blog and exclaimed, "You have 26 comments!"

I told him my peeps got my back.

I really appreciate the kind words and private emails and love over that last post. I'm currently searching for a new pediatrician. We first thought a family practice doctor would be best for B as they see fewer children and therefore would be extra thorough (funny how you justify your decisions). We also liked that he would see them through adulthood and we could also see the same doctor. And this office is extremely close to our home. I was worried, like someone commented, that a pediatrician would be super lax having seen many babies and children on a daily basis for years and years. I don't want lax. And while the current doctor is not lax, I don't necessarily feel supported either. I left with lots of questions I was afraid to ask and emotions I was fighting to hide. I don't want to feel that way. I'll spare you more details on how I felt insulted and just jump to saying that B will be seeing a new doctor for his 6-month checkup and beyond. I'm still open for suggestions on that one if you live local.

We're doing double feedings and we've added yet another dirty diaper and about 3 more soaked ones to the mix along with an outfit and swaddle change during his mid-night feeding because of all the extra urine. Despite thinking I'm still good feeding on one side, I'll give it a shot since he is 4 months and may be interested in taking in the extra calories, though I offered both before if he seemed interested. I still stand on my belief that he is growing healthy and strong and is not built to be a linebacker, however.

A package arrived today. It looks like {insert big name baby store} just threw up in our house. I swore I'd never own all this baby crap. But then B arrived and demands just about every single moment of attending and holding and I simply can't. Not with these crazy-mama emotions and sometimes... well... sometimes I just have to pee. Alone.
*I have a few reviews coming up from BlogHer. I love receiving fun, free packages in the mail (my UPS guy told me he thinks people in my neighborhood are rich because we get all kinds of packages and told me my Hollywood is rubbing off on my neighborhood. Haha). Did I mention how much I love BlogHer? I love that I represent babyloss and parenting after loss in their network. Let our voices be heard.

12 comments:

Darcey said... [Reply to comment]

Glad you are feeling better about everything...honestly, that jumparoo is the best thing EVER. It gives me several breaks a day and Layton loves to jump non-stop...amen to peeing alone :)

Molly said... [Reply to comment]

We have that same jumpy thing in the attic and did the exact same thing w the phone books for sloane! Ha!

LauraJane said... [Reply to comment]

:) We totally have your back. :)

I did the SAME thing as far as swearing off the "toys", thinking they were gimmicky.... Until I took G to visit a friend a couple weeks ago and tried out her son's baby swing (it's a FP aquarium cradle/swing thing) and she passed out within minutes... Guess what I bought off Craigslist this past weekend? haha :)

Sneaker Teacher said... [Reply to comment]

I love how you have books underneath his feet. I am looking at the same setup across the room..two textbooks on the floor so Grace can reach...haha!

Team Clancy said... [Reply to comment]

It would be a little farther for u, but Wheaton pediatrics is the greatest, specifically Dr. Lynn Ables. I have always trusted her opinion and from day 1 when I was bawling over supplementing with formula due to jaundice she dealt with us as a mother first and a doctor second. She is amazing and we have felt totally supported under her care for several issues, most minor and one major.

Danielle said... [Reply to comment]

That's the jumper N has!! :D how does B like it? i know you wanted to borrow it and i just kept freaking forgetting to give it to you! do you still want it? one for upstairs too? ;) i'll bring it next time i see you :D

Solange, Nik and Caitlin said... [Reply to comment]

Good for you! It's SO important that you are comfortable with B's doctor.
I hope he enjoys his bouncer :) You definitely need you "you" time even if it's just to pee ;)

SG said... [Reply to comment]

Well I'm late to the party here but it sounds like you are making a good decision for your family to switch. B is just the cutest!!

Natasha said... [Reply to comment]

Glad you are feeling better! I hope you have lots of luck with the doctor search!

I think we have boxes coming to our house at least every other day- all filled with stuff for Mason :) It's really ridiculous but he loves it! He has an activity center similar to this one and he loves it. And it's really nice when I need a potty break alone as well! HA!

Tiffany said... [Reply to comment]

just do whatever you think is best.

we switched from a ped to a fam doc for the same reasons you listed. but we had a less than desirable encounter with our ped the 1st time we took her which caused us to make the switch.

making the decision about who is going to look after you and your family is so extra hard after you have gone through what we have. you need to make sure that whoever it is you are 100% comfortable with them.

i'm just sorry you have had to deal with this. :(

Brooke said... [Reply to comment]

You're making me think I should sign up for blogher...

As I'm sure you already have considered, I don't think it's really about primary care vs. pediatrician as much as it's about finding someone who takes time to understand your perspective and respects your point of view. Being afraid to ask questions is probably the best indicator that the doctor you're seeing is NOT the kind of doctor you and B deserve to be seeing. I hope you find a great one.

Nicole said... [Reply to comment]

We have the same jumperoo, and had to put a pillow under A's feet until she got taller. That thing was a serious lifesaver!