Benjamin and Claire were just gifted two new shirts-- one that says big brother and one that says little sister. These statements are in and of themselves, totally true. Benjamin is definitely Claire's big brother. And she is definitely the little sister. Everyone and anyone who sees my children would be able to identify with this reality.
|First picture = marshmallow bribe. Second picture = uncertain. Third picture: Claire meltdown and brother holding her hand to calm her.|
It's obvious to anyone who knows me above a casual acquaintance level that I've had three children. That Benjamin is not just the big brother, but is also the little brother. And that Claire is not only the little sister but is a little sister to two big brothers. Obviously I mourn the loss of that extra t-shirt in so many ways. And yet I know that there probably wouldn't be a little sister at all if the big big brother were alive. But I can't get over that extra t-shirt and how it should be here. I was burned by seeing these shirts out in public after Andrew died and even after Benjamin was born. I wanted so badly to boast such numbers (two kids!), but I literally didn't have the number of carseats to show for it. It broke my heart. It was definitely a grief trigger.
I love that I can be proud of Benjamin and Claire and that they are both alive and able to wear their big brother and little sister shirts. These days are fleeting and they are both growing rapidly. How is Benjamin 24 months old? Preschool is seriously around the corner! The days left for them to proudly sport their love for one another in t-shirt form (even if they are totally unaware) will be long gone and they will soon be pestering one another like brothers and sisters do. But oh, to wonder... what our lives would be like if the four bedrooms upstairs were all filled and there were three t-shirts to hang in three closets representing my three kids.