Thursday, August 28, 2014

Today's Jog with Naughty Benjamin Bunny

I always love it when I post a cute picture of Benjamin being awesome on Instagram and then he turns into a psychopath within minutes of that post.

The toddler tantrum/psychosis doesn't come out daily and we've had many more good days than bad days lately, but MAN. He can be a real freak of nature.

I've been trying to get my butt in gear lately and get out for some exercise during the warm months weeks we have left of this year. We usually leave a bit after nap and I get the kids in the jogger with snacks and we're on our way. Sometimes I jog around our neighborhood, or to the playhouse about 1.5 miles down the road. If not to the playhouse, I often end the jog with a park visit (which is often my argument to get Benjamin into the stroller for any length of time).

Just after nap today, we were headed downstairs and planned to grab a snack and get on our way. We drive by this park with green slides on our way to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Benjamin is always requesting a visit to this park. I checked the weather report and thought today would be a perfect day to stroll on over.

It's actually only .6 miles from our house, but across a busy road. I mapped out a route around the neighborhood on the other side of that busy street and would end my jog at the park-with-the-green-slide. He was on board. Claire was strapped in and we were ready to scoot.

Then I got out my new shoes. He wanted to put them on and proceeded to take off his own shoes. I told him he could not. Cue the meltdown. Crisis averted with Wheat Thins. I stuck them in a container and tried to lure him into the stroller with those and a pack of fruit snacks. It worked.

Then I broke out the sunscreen. "No sunscreen." Too bad Mama will win this argument. But joke's on me if I think I'm winning, because it spurred the rest of the meltdown.

That lasted the entire 2.2 miles of my jog around the neighborhood. I rarely strap him in because he's two-and-a-half and likes to get out every once in awhile to hit the street-crossing buttons and such. And really, he's two-and-a-half. Can't he just stay in his flipping chair? Yes, yes he can.

I decided to carry on with my jog regardless of his psychosis, because honestly. Mama needed the detox. And also, he's not allowed to win by staying home like he was screaming during his tirade. He briefly braked from his insanity to hit the button to cross the street, but wanted nothing to do with me putting him back in the stroller when the walk signal appeared. Instead, he sprawled across the front of the double BOB, hanging his legs over the end and screaming random things about the park and home and strollers and being overall angry baby toddler.

One family was in their driveway as I yelled, "He's two!" She replied, "We heard you coming." Another woman was getting soccer gear out of the car in her driveway and said, "It looks like he's falling off the stroller." I replied back that he was not, but thanked her for her input on my parenting choices. I was watching him the entire time and he did not fall off or even come close. Two-year-olds can be a special breed of mankind. He was eventually strapped in against his will, but that seemed to fuel the fire even more. When we got home, this mama had another detox by giving this naughty boy some alone time in his room (to which he played happily) so I could have a few minutes of sanity.

I'm pretty sure I won't be taking a jog through that neighborhood anytime soon. They'd probably remember me and send a note into authorities for investigation because omg, that mom jogs with her son while he's throwing a tantrum and being unreasonable.

The good news about a toddler throwing a tantrum and strangers giving you the stink eye while you're jogging? You jog faster.

12 comments:

Tiffany said... [Reply to comment]

I am so glad that I am not the only person that has put the screaming child into a the stroller and continued to jog despite the looks of annoyance. Sometimes Mama just needs to go.

Caroline said... [Reply to comment]

That's part of what I love about my stroller gang. Every day at least one kid in class is having a meltdown but we all know this is moms ONE HOUR, so they can just cry. They get ALL THE OTHER HOURS, little jerks.

Finn actually does well in class, but it's because I bribe him with train videos when we get home. But I think being three helps a lot in that regard. Had I joined last year he would have been less inclined to comply! Though when he does get sassy, I usually threaten him with getting buckled! He's just like B and does not want to be strapped down. Oh the horror!

Amelia said... [Reply to comment]

I ADORE this.

RSmith said... [Reply to comment]

Are you sure it was the stink I, and not the I've been there and feel your pain look? Good for you getting out there with your hands full.

RSmith said... [Reply to comment]

Oops meant eye, instead of I.

Brooke said... [Reply to comment]

"He looks like he's falling out of the stroller." Bahahaha! Thanks for the observation, lady. Like you didn't notice he wasn't sitting properly in the seat?

Kari said... [Reply to comment]

OMG I do not want to relive the terrible twos ever again.
But once it is over?
OMG AMAZING.
Its a good thing they are cute, isn't it??

Natasha said... [Reply to comment]

Oh two year olds! Gotta love em :) Lol at the lady telling you he was falling out- really lady, thanks for telling me I thought he was buckled in and sleeping. Hahaha!

Brie said... [Reply to comment]

Lol. Sorry to laugh, but it sounds so similar to my days latey.

Tiffany said... [Reply to comment]

Those toddlers thou

LookItsJessica said... [Reply to comment]

Toddlers are nutso! We had a slightly similar- albeit not so bad incident re: getting into the cart at Target. LORDY. Thankfully, I could bribe her with a trip to look (only look) at the toys in Target. Do you read Honest Toddler tweets/fbook posts? They are hilarious and this post reminded me of HT stuff.

Laura Jane said... [Reply to comment]

Grace is the.worst.when.she's.angry. Angry little red head.

She often throws tantrums/kicks and screams/etc while I push the girls in the stroller down the road.

Kids are crazy.. and that lady is ALSO crazy.