Friday, December 19, 2014

The Gap

I'm at my end this week. It's just one of those weeks that never seems to end and the toddler and baby have found every cord to strike within me.

I had to get out this morning. Most storytimes have taken a winter hiatus and so we went to my least favorite one in the local downtown. It's not very engaging and the room is enormous, so attention spans are minimal. After, we explored the computers, elevator, dirty toys, water fountain in which Benjamin was sticking his hands in and then sticking them in his mouth, omg omg omg, we went to the {once again} mediocre storytime.

After, I thought it would be fun to walk and check out the trains they place on the sidewalks for the winter. They're about the size of the ones you'd ride in front of a supermarket, but decorated with different sponsors and such. We got to the corner and there was a Gap store. I figured I'd check out their clearance for cute stuff for Claire.

Walking in was fine. And then it was all over.

Benjamin was a nightmare. He was hanging from the security things in front of the door. Climbing into the front display of the store. Grabbing display hanging metal things that the workers were assembling and running off with them. Climbing on top of full displays and sitting on them after he cleared all of the shirts that were being displayed. Running up and down the aisles and yelling MOM! as loud as he could. It's his latest thing to do. Finally, after he cleared another shelf and landed about 50 beautifully folded shirts on the floor, I put Claire on the floor (to then also crawl up and down aisles and attempt to get into the cashier's area) and purchased a single item. But of course, Claire can't walk, so I must carry her the 1.5 blocks to the car and the toddler refuses to not only put on his coat, but move a single inch on his own. He sat.

Somehow I strong-armed them both and after that block, I didn't have the strength to manage the full 50lbs of awkward weight, so I put him down on the sidewalk and told him he needed to walk. He refused. So I grabbed one arm and began to drag-walk him down the street. An older couple approached and asked if I needed help.

I'm not too proud. Yes. YES. I need help. And a stroller or a husband or a freaking nanny. She held his other arm as we dragged him that 1/2 block to the car.

And this, my friends, is why I refuse to shop anywhere with my toddler. How I see these moms walking in and out of stores with their children who happily wear coats and hats and stand by their side while shopping amazes me. They're like unicorn spottings.


Caroline said... [Reply to comment]

That older couple rocks. You guys will be them one day. Helping the mom who is doing her best, despite the little terror.

Carry On, Mama. You're doing just fine.

Amelia said... [Reply to comment]

I remember G Lost. Her. Shit. in the produce section because there was no truck cart. We needed groceries, I had to wait it out. I waived at passerbys. I actually have been ridiculously lucky with G. She is a snarler at strangers, never one to charm the grandmas, but I can count on 2 hands the corners we've had to find for public time outs. I'm grateful. Maybe I paid my dues for public freak outs while working at the group home. 10 year olds scream louder than 2 year olds if you're curious.

Amelia said... [Reply to comment]

Or waved, either way. And I forgot to say, sending calm loving thoughts your way.

RyAnne Carr said... [Reply to comment]

I had to go to the dreaded post office today. I had been talking this trip up the last 24 hours telling Abigail how many people will be there and how she has to behave. I even packed snacks because I knew the line was going to be crazy. And I had 3 separate huge packages to mail. Right when we get in she proclaims that her sock is not on right, sits down in the middle of the walkway and tries to take shoe and sock off. all while Im trying to address the last package. I told her to move to the side so others could get through and she lost it-screaming while everyone is just watching. Luckily a post office worker came over and gave her a sticker. I was not too proud either-whatever others can do to help! The stickers calmed her enough and the rest of the trip went smooth, but come on-a sock! Oh and Im 8 months pregnant and feeling huge so carrying her is next to impossible!

Molly said... [Reply to comment]

Omg I'm just cracking up imagining this scene!!! I knwo it wasn't funny at the time, but oh you too will laugh one day as you remember the time randoms helped you drag his ass to the car!! 😂😂😂 he def "made a poor choice" eh?

LookItsJessica said... [Reply to comment]

I love the older couple that helped you! And I'm so glad you accepted, I might have been too scared but... it takes a village, right?

I don't know what it is but Avy changes into a little monster in any clothing store. It is like night and day. Totally normal, calm child on the sidewalk and then suddenly she is doing the same shit as B did in the store. Sitting down when you try to hold their hand, racing through aisles and running directly in front of other shoppers.

You're brave for still attempting storytime (with two kids no less!) we quit those because Avy always ran wild. Once a week I take her to a play-place and let her run around while I have coffee. Totally not as educational but a nice break for everyone.

Dianna said... [Reply to comment]

What a blessing that couple was!! I have been there!

Veronica said... [Reply to comment]

The day I don't venture out with the stroller is the day I'll be refolding piles at The Gap.

Benjamin is a handful and a half. I love that older couple too.

ekiwi said... [Reply to comment]

Always. Bring. The. Ergo. (I'd send you the kinderpack I had buuuut I sold it and bought another :o!) Wear it like a backpack/fanny pack/apron when there's no baby in it. You know it looks smashing ;)! I'm glad other people have similar happenings in stores with their toddlers. Famous last words, "oh, I'll just bring Q. She's so good shopping!"

Party of Three Heads said... [Reply to comment]

Hey, Momma. I feel your freakin pain. I RARELY bring Colston to stores anymore with me. It is more stressful than it's entirely worth. He is just like Benjamin, running up the aisles screaming mom, crawling on the floors, hiding from me, giving me a panic attack when I loose sight of him, bc OMG someone might be crazy enough to steal him. And on and on and on. :) Your not the only one, Promise. I despise those that can bring their children with them and they behave like a normal damn child. And I despise those who have children the age of Colston who can FIT in a stroller. Having a big child isn't always fun.

Laura Jane said... [Reply to comment]

Grace is just now able to manage the outings in small bursts. We are good for a while if she's in a cart, but horrific if she's running around. I had to talk her to a walk-in clinic today and she was crazy. ha.

kids are too much sometimes.

so, whatcha buy?

Natasha said... [Reply to comment]

OMG that is hilarious! Poor mama! These kids man- cray cray!

Julie said... [Reply to comment]

I gotta say, I don't find your experience hilarious at all. I think I might have called Brad with 911 urgency telling him I was so.done. It sounds like a nightmare. Thank GOD for that lovely nonjudgemental couple. Oh man Brandy. Cate runs around and I wonder how I would do it if I had an infant. I swear it's a huge reason I do daycare twice a week - so I don't have to do errands with her! And if I do, we've got all the time in the world because god help me if I rush her. She just disintegrates. Not exactly the best learning strategy for her - at least Ben is learning about being out and about and that he WILL get dragged if need be!!
Hope you had a case of good wine at home. You deserve it!!