Thursday, June 30, 2011

Future Endeavors and Updates

I received an email asking if I'd be interested in teaching another MA course in Education (with a side of technology). If I teach this, I get an iPad. Pretty good incentive if you ask me. Well, they aren't giving me an iPad, but they are paying me to teach... and since I want an iPad, I'll be able to purchase one with the money I make in teaching the course. Okay, so I can buy one right now if I wanted to (all that money we're saving not having a living child!), but turns out I'm kind of cheap and need the justification to purchase luxury items. I actually like teaching about and discussing education issues, leadership, technology, and how the three are so intertwined. It's a passion.

Some of my current obsessions passions include (in this order):
  • Happy Husband
  • Andrew
  • Trying to conceive (and failing miserably)
  • Lamenting with fellow BLMs about missing our babies and ttc
  • Eating delicious food
  • Education/Technology
So it may be on the bottom end of the spectrum, but it still makes the cut. Because various things like looking presentable, making smalltalk, being anywhere near babies or pregnant people or happy people or most people in general isn't making the cut right now.

Trying to make lemonade out of sour lemons, I might actually be doing something I love this fall! It's not in stone yet, but it seems promising considering they are asking me back to teach. Rather than going back to the elementary/middle school classroom (which I'll still sub for), I'll be able to teach again specifically targeting my greatest teaching passion. I think that's what I needed. I needed something to come up that would allow me to teach, but not something that would inhibit the ability to get pregnant again... if that'll ever happen. Y'all know the reason I don't want to go back to the classroom full time right now. Because in the event that I do happen to give birth to a live baby (ever? ever???), I WILL be taking that time to tend to that child. It's not something I'd be willing to negotiate. I'd eat beans and rice for the rest of my life if that meant I'd have the chance to be a mom who is present with her children. Not that we have that concern, but I'm just going extreme and all superlative on you for effect.

It's helpful that my husband has been hoping I'd find something I'm passionate about in the interim and this is definitely checking that box. Yay. I have purpose and might actually help impact student lives for the better. I've almost forgotten what that feels like. And it sort of helps knowing that even if Andrew were here and alive right now, I'd still probably be teaching this course. I'm not teaching because he's gone, but because it's a passion and will remain so. It's nice to know that my grief isn't getting in the way of feeling passionate about something other than being a mom.

In other (food related) news, a friend dropped by a loaf of bread she baked. She lived in France for awhile and since we also have our own European living experience, we share a love for delicious bread. It's something the United States doesn't fully grasp. Europeans would never buy American sliced bread and scoff at our interest to do so. They sell it there and refer to it as American toast. It practically rots on the shelves. And to think food wouldn't be part of this post. It's now been mentioned twice. Cause you know, it's a passion. :)

Unrelated update: Also, I deactivated my facebook account. I can't take it anymore. The pictures of adorable babies and cutesy comments are maddening. Time for a mental break. That, and a former friend emailed my husband trying to contact me and said she saw me in a picture looking pregnant and if so, she's SO happy for us. Don't have the heart to tell her that the picture was taken last September. When Andrew was alive and my dreams of mothering that little nugget weren't dead either.

But can I get a yahooooo for at least some gems of happiness here and there?


Cassandra said... [Reply to comment]

Hi! And yay for the job offer! It sounds like it would fit what your wanting!

And that bread looks yummy!

Hali in Wonderland said... [Reply to comment]

Congrats on the job offer! It sounds amazing, and like a great opportunity!

Kelly said... [Reply to comment]

Yeah job opps!

Good for you for deleting Facebook. I literally think about doing it every single day, but I don't. Not even sure why.

Just the 3 of Us said... [Reply to comment]

This new teaching opportunity and the iPAD both sound amazing :)

Yahoo for your little gems of happiness among the sadness :)

Shell said... [Reply to comment]

Like Kelly I also think daily about deleting my "happyland" account. I have decreased my use with it but just can't seem to pull the plug on it. The bread looks delish and congrats on the teaching opportunity. I hope you have a good 4th.

katie illingworth said... [Reply to comment]

Those are all great, great things. I totally understand the TTC again obsession. I will say so many prayers for you on that end. Also, I never go on facebook anymore. The few times I've gone on, someone I know is either newly pregnant or has newly birthed a child. Deactivating the account seems like not a bad idea at all...Either way, I need to stop torturing myself.

Caroline said... [Reply to comment]

I'll give you a yahooooo for deactivating facebook! After Cale died, everyone knew I wanted to get pregnant again and I got SO sick of hearing "just realx, being worried or stressed about it won't help" - I wanted to punch everyone in the face. So I hope you aren't getting that too often. Or I hope you are punching them in the face if you are.

PS - I still am on the hunt in grocery stores for those Magnum dessert things you posted. I can't get them out of my mind. Pathetic? Yes, absolutely. But I love me some ice creamy dessert!

Brooke said... [Reply to comment]

Teaching opportunity sounds great. It is nice to find stuff that reminds us of our old selves, isn't it? And it will feel good to earn an ipad!

Brooke said... [Reply to comment]

also i want some of that bread.

Becky said... [Reply to comment]

Congrats on the job offer1

When I do end up prego again-hopefully soon-I also want more than anything to be a stay at home mom. I think I need to get some tips from you on how to live a little cheaper though. You amaze me on the deals you find and the self control on buying stuff. If I wanted an ipad I probably would have just bought it.
Don't quite think I could do the rice and beans though.

Becky said... [Reply to comment]

Oh and Caroline brought up the Magnum ice cream bar and I actually had to buy some after I saw you posted about it. Really, really rich and fattening.