- I woke up (without an alarm clock) at 5:15 a.m. to get to my local Safeway chain store (Dominick's) because they just marked all grocery items to 50% off. Diapers were 50% off last week and I missed it, so I was definitely not missing this one. I may have loaded up the equivalent of 3 full carts and spent over $400. Liquor goes on sale next Friday. Watch out, people. I'm only pregnant until the end of January and then game-on. I have a list of favorite wines and craft beers we'll be adding to our somewhat embarrassing collection we already have going thanks to a certain wine club my mom signed us up for. Totally awesome, but the UPS guy is starting to question if I have a drinking problem. And to be 8-months pregnant with these deliveries? Yeah. Nobody call child services. Thanks.
- I have been happily adding to our Christmas card pile which I stick in Andrew's stocking in our formal living room. I make sure to put some of my favorite faces toward the front so I can stare at them. Cards that mention Andrew in this season also get front status.
- Speaking of my loved boy, we went to that remembrance ceremony on Tuesday. We both left saying how much we love that tradition to honor our boy every year with a room full of people who are honoring their children/grandchildren as well. There's just something to be said for attending a ceremony where every person in there knows the heartbreak of losing a child. But Andrew's brother... oh my. Benjamin, on the other hand, was the cutest and most silly boy on the planet that evening. He was playing "peek(-a-bo)" with people behind us, laughing, jumping, saying clap and then doing so over and over and over again. Not the time or place, but he is just reminding us how much of a light he is in our lives. What is nice about this ceremony is that there are families with other kids but also missing kids. When I was pregnant with Benjamin and we attended out first one, I just remember not being jealous but longingly hoping we'd be bringing back our own baby to remember our firstborn in the coming years. The woman behind us had a boy around 6 months and told me that her son's name that she was there to remember is also Andrew. And the people in front of us were remembering their son Hayes, just like my friend Molly. The only tough spot is seeing the visibly, newly broken individuals and families that attended. I know those shoes.
- It's my amazing husband's birthday today and although I was planning to make him brownies for his birthday, I scored a $1.50 pumpkin pie (also a favorite of his) that we're having instead.
- We met him at work and headed to lunch, but we're staying in to eat some of the food I bought this morning in the mayhem. I'm so sad that store is closing. I remember moving into our house quite excited that my favorite grocery store chain was not only in the Chicago 'burbs, but just over a mile from my house. And now they are no more. Sad day.
- I'm really excited about the Christmas gifts we purchased for people this year. I even bought something for my husband! We're not much for gifting one another because we prefer experiences and to choose our own things... but this year I think I hit the jackpot. Somehow, Benjamin made out like a bandit, too. I wasn't intending on spending much on the little guy, but it's so hard to let things go when I find things I know he'll love.
Heartbreak and Healing
10 months ago