Support Like No Other

Last month I jumped on the bandwagon of baby-loss bloggers to compose my own reflection of where I stood at 6 months, 1 day from losing our Andrew. I was angry that day. Circumstances that surrounded that day led me to feel defeated. Not that I don't still feel the rage, because everyday it comes at least for a moment. But mostly, I am surviving. I was reading over at Still Life with Circles, who started this project that yielded over 160 participants, and she posted something incredible. That's right. 160 participants mean that all 160 of those people who participated have been in the same situation as myself. They sat in a hospital feeling complete despair. They probably have a grave to visit or an urn on display. They outlived their babies, too.

A baby loss father, Jack, lost his second child in March. He read every single entry to this project and created a beautiful piece of art. It connects all of the participants with a short excerpt from each piece of writing. Even more special, he included the names of our children on the very bottom.

Funny, I know myself too well. I knew the very piece he selected from my own reflection out of all 160 excerpts included. Here is his incredible artwork (click twice to enlarge to a readable font):

And what Jack posted on his own blog about this project he created:
This piece is dedicated to the 160 babyloss parents who took part in Angie's epic Right Where I Am project as of July 18 and to all of our babies that were lost. It is also dedicated to the thousands of faceless parents around the world that lose babies every year (some 30,000 in America alone). I originally joined the project because I wanted to soak up as much as I could from everyone who has gone before us. And as I feel Margot slipping away from me as the days without her trudge on, I felt like this was a way for me to be close to her and to honor her death. So, I read and read and read, all the way up to last night, when I read and filed away the 160th post in the project.

I just want to say a huge thank-you to all of the babyloss parents who participated. Words cannot describe the gratitude I feel for each one of you, whether you are years out from your loss or just a few weeks or months. Each and every post, whether heart breaking or hopeful or a blend of the two, was so meaningful and raw and beautiful in it's own right. There is solace in this beautiful mess of a community we have formed since all of our losses. I titled this piece Right Where We Are because in some strange and mysterious way, no matter how many miles separate us, we are in this TOGETHER. There is strength in numbers and I pull from your strength every day.

If you'd like a larger view of the project, visit Jack's blog for details. It truly is a wonderful memoir for our babies.

Thanks, Jack.