1 year, 100 days

Exactly one year ago today, we were a family of 2 flying from Germany to the United States, hoping to become a family of 3 very soon.

We left our little town of Neuenrade, Germany (where we'd lived for 6 months) for Frankfurt, weighed our completely maxed-out baggage and got excited about owning our first home in a matter of 3 days.

I drank my last alcoholic beverage, a margarita no less, in hopes to become pregnant within the following weeks. It worked! I was pregnant within 2 weeks of stepping foot back on US soil.

We prepared to sign closing papers for our home on March 18, 2010 in the western suburbs of Chicago, Illinois.

We were so excited. We traveled the world, bought a home, had a new city and state to explore, and became pregnant all in a matter of 2 weeks time.

And 100 days ago...

Doctors gave us news that our baby boy had passed without any known reason.

We experienced love and heartbreak all in one day.

We became parents to a gorgeous baby boy.

We said goodbye to our first child.

We went from a family of 3 back down to a family of 2.

So much hope and so much heartbreak all wrapped into one year. We went from having a seamless life filled with hope and happiness to what we're still trying to work through from the loss of our precious baby. Take nothing for granted.

What I wouldn't give to be this excited, hopeful, carefree pregnant mama again...

We have the same hopes we had just one year ago today, though looking through entirely different lenses. 1 year, 100 days and our lives are forever changed. In some ways this last year has gone by at a crawling rate, and in some ways I feel like we aged an additional 10 years in 365 days.