Pee Protester

It seems partially fitting to include this post the day after a new... eh... leader... has been inaugurated. I'm unable to suck in my pride enough to call that person the POTUS, so I'll just leave it as leader, which I think is generous enough.

On inauguration day, I spent the day in the doctor's office with my very own protester (as her mother was silently protesting the day's events in a different way in her mind).

On Thursday, Claire complained of painful urination. She even rejected all attempts for me to convince her that peeing was downright necessary after one has slept for 12 hours and before preschool. There's something not cool about peeing in your carpeted preschool classroom you are brand new at attending.

No pee at home. Finally, pee at school. In a potty.

I pick her up from preschool after a glorious morning of me-time and heard that she and Benjamin exchanged hugs while in line to use the restrooms before lunchtime. (Oh how I love this.) But no speak of urinating herself.

Complaints of needing to pee and it hurting continued. Refusal to pee continued. It's around 4:45 p.m. and I suspected a UTI, so I called the doctor's office that sent me immediately to a message that told me to call back in 15 minutes due to high call volume, precisely when they were closed for the evening. Clever. Doctor, 1. Brandy, 0.

Called the urgent care and they told me they were closed until SUNDAY. Excuse me, what? You're urgent care, right? Like, when I can't go to a primary care because they are closed or it's uh... urgent? Apparently all of their docs are sick. So they closed the joint down! For three days! The closest next urgent care? 18 miles away. And a call to them at 6:10 p.m. informed me that they took their last patient of the evening already. I'm not understanding this definition of urgent care, clearly. The closest next was like 25 miles away and I just cut my losses.

The on-call doctor just recommended I monitor her and wait until the morning. I booked an appointment for 11:15 a.m. Friday.

She begged for me to take her to the doctor who she was angry with just two days prior for updating her immunizations at her 3-year well visit. Finally, with insane amounts of crying, screaming, and potty dancing, the full-bladdered little lady peed all over the wood floors. And I never thought I'd encourage my potty-trained children to pee as much as possible right there for me to clean, but I needed it out! She was relieved. I was relieved. Bedtime it was.

The following morning, the same resistance to urination continued. "Ouch," I was reminded. Instead of waiting for the appointment, I just threw a bunch of games and books in a bag, dressed the kids and got them moving. In the car and arrived, I was hoping someone missed their appointment due to large amounts of snow falling and Reno having a huge lack of snow removal equipment (because omg, if they cancel or delay school anymore for 3 inches of snow, I'm gonna start shoveling this joint myself!). We showed up to no appointment. The nurse failed to actually book the appointment she offered me. Instead, they got me in earlier!

Pushing liquids, Claire and I had a 1-hour standoff in the doctor office bathroom as I attempted to get her to pee 168 different ways. I offered all her favorite things: looking at baby dolls at Walmart, chocolate shake at McD, playing at the dirt hole playplace there, tablet use... I was going there.

Finally, the nurse insisted that the doctor just wanted us to head to the ER so she could get a catheter because it had been nearly 18 hours since her last urination. We clothed the struggler and headed back to the office to be written our document when the nurse pulls out one last stop.

"Claire, what's your favorite candy?"

"Chocolate." (Nevermind that I offered this myself and the opportunity to choose ANY candy bar at the store she wanted.)

The nurse comes back in with two mini-sized Hershey bars and offers them to Claire if she pees. The nurse asks if she will try for her and asks if I wanted to accompany them in the bathroom. I decided to stay behind, thinking that the nurse might have more clout if Mama wasn't present. Not three minutes later, seven ounces of golden liquid were presented in the pee hat.

Are. you. kidding. I was basically promising Claire a freaking pony and she still wouldn't pee for me. And this nurse offers her two small pieces of chocolate and she makes things happen? And quickly?

An antibiotic prescription given (and sending me to two different pharmacies and difficulty with insurance, because of course) and finally we had the glorious bottle of medical magic in our hands. We're still recovering and had one more major dance-off and small pond on our wood floors, but I think we're finally on the mend.

Might I note, Benjamin was the most supportive and awesome brother ever during the pee standoff and waiting game. He earned himself a chocolate treat from that nurse as well.

We had our very own monumental inauguration dance and celebration here, too.

And let me tell you, it was YUGE. ::smirk and eye roll, obviously::

Potty Training Uhhhh-gain

Back on the train for the second installment of potty training my children. I'll admit that Claire has probably been ready for eons. And, well, I just wasn't. Because I remember how SUPER FUN it was to potty train Benjamin and how I waited forever because he was so noncommittal (or was that me?) and then when we did it, he was potty trained fully without any need for any sort of pee pad, alarm, pull-up or anything in a matter of like 5 days. He just did it all the time, by himself, without me even bothering. I never had to pull the nagging "Do you have to go potty" before we left for somewhere and I still don't. The kid has an uncanny ability to hold his urine for ridiculously long periods of time. I literally took back all the Pull-Ups I bought in anticipation of using them for years because he never used a single one.

For Claire, I just kind of assumed that if I pushed it off until she was almost three like Benjamin was when he trained, it'd all be roses and easy. Whenever we asked her if she wanted to, she'd always say, "tomorrow" and was happily bringing me diapers and wipes for changings for many months. So it's time.

Someone said something about girls being easier.

WRONG. Double. Triple. Wrong. Liars.

For one, boys can go standing up and somehow it is socially acceptable for them to pee on nature anytime, anywhere. They don't require wiping for that business and you don't have to deal with the fears of them falling into the toilet or those stupid automatic flushers sucking them into oblivion. Real fears from little people, seriously. Girls require lifting onto and/or holding them on the potty or bringing in a potty topper (which I do often) that was virtually unused with Benjamin (he was also good about holding the poop until we were good and home).

Girls require running to the potty, making sure said potty is clean, covering the top, holding there, wiping, flushing, washing... LORD HAVE MERCY.

Boys just piss on a tree and you squirt them with a little hand sani and head on your way.

Claire has been peeing in the potty solidly for 2.5 weeks now. For the last 1.5 weeks, she's done it without accident. I was going to keep her home from school a week ago to continue bootcamp, but then picture day put a snag in my plans. Still, she managed dry diapers at school and using the potty. But this week, she must've eaten something awful because when I picked her up from school on Monday, the teacher handed me a dark bag of super fun, totally diarrhea-filled clothing. And then she proceeded to expel the same fun into her underwear and accompanying pants for the next two days. Finally, the following day, she walked her naked self into the bathroom, sat down and did her business without me accompanying her. Finally. A solid in the potty. Her first one. Pee was a snap, but poop was absolutely not. Benjamin was pooping on the potty before he ever peed, so this was something new for me. What a blast it has been cleaning those clothes. Ick.

We celebrated big with mint Oreos (imperative that you find these at your local market and buy them. They are my fave of all time). She's done it a few times more now with no accidents of any kind now for 4 days or so.

I'm not saying we're out of the dark on this potty situation, but we're headed on the right track. Fruit snacks ready and happy face potty chart taped to the bathroom mirror, we're not turning back. She's not interested in diapers at bedtime (but mommies who don't want to be woken up to wet mattresses sure are) and is requesting underwear like brother, so I've committed to November 1 as diaper-free Wilson household IF she manages dry diapers for the next two weeks solid.

Send us your potty pixie dust and well wishes. Please and thank you. Also, OMG, it's possible I'm done changing diapers forever? Wow.

An Unexpected Delivery

(Disclosure: Husband as ghost writer, so please excuse the lack of style and creativity.)

Last night, after deciding to take an Ambien at the suggestion of her nurse, Brandy was fast asleep on monitors when she was suddenly awoken at 3:40 am by five nurses. Apparently Claire had shown heart tone decelerations over the past 6 minutes, and the nurses immediately started inserting IVs, checking the baby, and had Brandy get on her hands and knees to try to get the baby away from the cord. Claire stabilized at this point, and they did an ultrasound. The doctor then came in, checked her monitor readings, and said if this deceleration occurred again that they would do an emergency c-section. The doctor laid Brandy back down, and started another ultrasound... at which point Claire had another deceleration.

They immediately started prepping Brandy for the c-section. Brandy called me at 4:08 am (which unfortunately did not wake me), put under general anesthesia, and Claire was delivered at 4:17 am apparently kicking and screaming. There was meconium in the amniotic fluid, which further validated that she had indeed been under distress. A nurse was nice enough to keep calling me and get through a few minutes after the c-section had occurred. (An amazing friend was nice enough to rush over to our house to take over babysitting Benjamin, and I was able to get to the hospital before Brandy was awake. We also have another friend watching Benjamin ALL day today before his grandparents arrive... so a HUGE thank you there as well.)

Claire weighed in at 6lbs 1oz (not bad for a baby just a few hours into her 36th week), is 18.5 inches long, has blonde hair, and a dimple on her chin (and we are trying to figure out what side of the family that came from). She is now stable in the NICU (on oxygen, not unexpected, and antibiotics as a precaution given meconium in the fluid) and appears to be doing well. (Note: The NICU has undergone a major upgrade since Benjamin was here, and now babies get their own really nice private rooms.)

Brandy is extremely tired, but ultimately relieved... and looking to catch up on a bit of sleep if possible. Between all the drugs and lack of sleep, she was not in a condition to write this blog post... but wanted to get this update out to her many amazing friends and family members who she knows are anxious for an update.

Here are a few photos of our beautiful addition, and her amazing mother:

On behalf of myself, Brandy, Benjamin, and Claire... thank you all for your countless thoughts, prayers, support, and love.