Chit-Chat with Ben + Claire

Me: Do you want to take a bath?
C: Yeah, but a short bath. Not a long bath.
Me: Why not a long bath?
C: Because my fingers will get lines on them.

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B: [Sigh] OH. That guy is smoking.
Me: Where? In that truck?
B: Yeah. But it's okay, because he's a grandpa.

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C: Um, hey Mommy. When I'm four, I can, um... drive the car.
Me: Silence {and big eye emoji}

Five and {very} ALIVE

If you would've told me that in 2017 I'd have a five-year-old almost kindergartner when I was drowning in my own tears circa 2010, I wouldn't have believed you. Okay, I would have wanted to believe you.

I truly cannot believe we've made it to five years with our rainbow. Some days (okay, months), I wanted time to speed forward because my rainbow wasn't always so cheerful. He's a bit of a handful if I'm being honest. As time progressed, he definitely developed and thankfully progressed beyond only challenging. He's actually quite fun most days. He's my adventure buddy to the fullest.

He's learning a ton, swimming like a fish, skiing very well and showing me who's boss with his early reading skills. He is totally digging U.S. state geography and can tell you the five border states of Nevada (and a few other states-- thanks for the puzzle that spurred his interest, Gramie & Grandpa!). He's a junkie for travel and we sure hope he keeps that spark for adventure.

He's an introvert. Perhaps even a loner, he wants to please and is challenged by his own emotions sometimes. Anxiety can get the best of him and the unknown and uncertain and new both excites him and makes him nervous. He truly does want to please, but expresses this in a much more subtle way than his sister, who will flat out ask you about your emotions and if you're pleased with her.

His own person for sure, he's a pink-loving, princess-adoring, hotel-exploring, movie and Disney-obsessed kiddo. Life is going to throw this one some curveballs because of his tough exterior and difficulty expressing himself sometimes, but I sure hope it's kind to him. After all, this one saved us. I tell him all the time, but I will love him, forever and always. He saved us, literally speaking, from our emotional turmoil after his big brother died.

We've made it five years with a living child. With hope. Because before he was born, the hope was looking pretty bleak in the family growing department. This day five years ago gave us that second chance at parenthood. It started off rough but was worth it all. In some ways, this is also a grief birthday. Even five years and one day ago, we were fearful, anxious and unhappy. Then all of a sudden, our worlds were brightened.

He picked out his own fabulous cake-- round with chocolate in the middle and pink flowers on top with sprinkles, to be exact. We really couldn't be more different, this boy and I. But man do I love him. And here he is. All five and glorious (and sometimes exhausting) years of rainbow love.

Kids Are Mean

A couple weeks ago, Benjamin mentioned to me that some of his friends at school weren't playing with him and even went so far to say that he didn't want to go to school one day because he had no one to play with.

I didn't believe it. Until I saw it.

I assumed he was exaggerating and placing all of these remarks on one isolated incident he didn't fully understand, like the allowance of only two kids in a center area or one kid really intent on his creation that he didn't react well when Benjamin went grabbing for that special project. Or that the one kid he wanted to play with at that exact time was unavailable.

Benjamin isn't an easy kid to understand and I think he struggles to understand others. He's not very social. He clams up and holds his emotions inside until he bursts. He gets hurt feelings, despite his tough exterior or appearance to disregard anyone and everything. But if you touch on something sensitive, he goes into defense mode and says and does things that he can't control because he lacks that full ability to express himself well.

But, like any mom, I felt horrible that he felt underappreciated and devalued. I want the kids to love him, but he's an introvert loner who doesn't seem to have the whole social awareness thing down. And it does bother him. So I wanted him to know that it does bother me, too. I want him to know I take his concerns seriously because I want him to love school and I love him. This whole social confusion is most of what preschool is about, right?

We were at storytime yesterday and in walks a girl from his class. He sits beside her, smitten that someone from his class was at our storytime. He's met other classmates there before and they've always been nice. This girl, wasn't. When the story ended or the librarian read a funny joke, he'd turn to look and see her reaction, as to connect with her. She turned her whole body against him and at one point actually moved herself away from him. Of course her mom was either oblivious (or a jerk) and didn't react.

I grabbed him up and told him she wasn't interested in being friendly and immediately he welled up with tears and started saying unkind things ("I don't love you", etc.). This is how he reacts when he feels threatened. I felt terrible and honestly had some ugly words in my head rolling around about that little brat of a four-year-old.

He has to know that life isn't fair. It's not. People are going to disappoint you. They will. Friends will come and go. Also true. It's just... really hard being Mama and seeing your little bird take flight, only to fall and gain those bruises. This is only the beginning.

Ben the Book Worm

Ever since he was a tiny nugget, he's been a book lover. He's been bringing me books from the moment he could walk, without end. I actually have to deny him book reading just so I can get meals prepared and us out of the house for fresh air. He would honestly be perfectly content sitting at home reading books all day long.

I know I shouldn't, but I totally revoke book reading before bed as a consequence for being difficult during the bedtime routine. Almost always, he complies. Because seriously, somehow he loses all ability to dress himself and be cooperative as soon as we mention it's bedtime.

A promised trip down the street to the Little Free Library was enough to get Benjamin out of his near hour-long tantrum today and his mood immediately changed upon the procurement of another book (and trading in one of sister's to get it). We've even started a word wall of words he knows by sight. He's stubborn as can be, so hopefully his love for books will translate into easy reading in the next couple years.

We have 39 books checked out from the library right now with more on hold. It's kind of an obsession (and it helps we have no toys at our house while we transition our stuff to Reno... which will happen mid-August). The new library is on a county system, so it's totally awesome that books can be checked out from any of the libraries and magically appear, ready and waiting in the hold section at our convenience. I think about the book transfer people and how that has to be a full time job for someone in a county system, especially in a county with 11 libraries (not all created equal though).

We're partaking in the summer reading program and each kid gets to choose a free book every two weeks, just for participating. This week, Benjamin chose a book on sharks and I chose Can I Play Too? by Mo Willems for Claire. (She's not as book hungry, but brother is encouraging her interest.) It's one of the Elephant and Piggie books. Benjamin immediately wanted to read it in the middle of the kid's section at the library, then realizing it was written by the same author as his favorite, Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus.

Families were all around the library, waiting for storytime (which was also awesome except the "surprise visitor" being Wolfie from the Nevada Wolf Pack who scared the daylights out of Claire). I started reading the book to Benjamin and we were literally both in tears, it was so funny. Maybe I'm easy to humor these days, but I was crying. People all around were staring and other kids were coming over, interested.

So I went ahead and put more of those Elephant and Piggie books on hold. The 50th read of the now deemed "funny book" isn't nearly as funny to Mama anymore, but Benjamin is still rolling.

Algae Pools + Tough Month Ahead

We were so spoiled in IL with the posh pool life. We paid a hefty tax bill for great schools and a killer water park just 3 miles from home, but dang, was it nice.

Our closest pool (outside of condominium complexes or gyms) is 12 miles away. That's a 24-mile round trip to let Benjamin work his mad skillz in the water! And... they don't have memberships. It's pay-per-use. I'm considering making very good friends with someone in that HOA facility I run by at night. Because I never see anyone in that pool and it's so stinking close to home.

We went to one public pool and Benjamin killed it with the double flume slides. The kid is a maniac. So much, that the second pool we went to, the lifeguard yelled at us (among other reasons), for Benjamin being "too wild" in the pool. She said he needed to be in the shallow end if he was going to act crazy. And then we got yelled at for like 3 other things at different times and I about asked for my money back.

So we went back to pool #1. The double flume. It's in a totally sketch area of Reno, attached to this questionable middle school and behind one of the county libraries that is the size of a modular classroom (low taxes affect everything, it turns out). The first time we pulled up, the school alarm was blaring because God knows why, and no one seemed to be alarmed (see what I did there? Hardy Har Har). It's only open from 1-4pm, so the kids were warned that we would be spending a lot of time there because we were paying and skipped Claire's nap for this.

We stayed an hour. The kids got their fill apparently, but I obliged because I noticed this slimy green algae lining the entire pool interior. And of course, Claire pooped in her swim diaper. Thank God for these reusables for the environment and my pocketbook, dude, but tossing those Little Swimmers is way the heck easier to clean when the kid has el accidente. I told her she could have a Starburst today if she just told me before she pooped so I didn't have to clean her butt today. She pooped three times. None of which earned her a Starburst. Don't sign us up for the potty training bus yet. I'll pass.

sludge pool. be warned.

As we exited, I brought the POOL SLUDGE to the manager's attention who explained to me that while they chlorinate everyday and "regularly" clean, the "dead algae" just returns because they never have a chance to drain the pool, even in winter. I threw up some big eyes right then, because all places that experience winter weather, drain their pools. The reason they don't? Vandalism. So I left, vowing that pool was forever off the list and made sure to scrub the kiddies down well with soap after that incident (and well, Claire needed it anyway, because, code brown). One lady I met there with her kids (who randomly approached me to show me a HUGE splinter under her nail) told me about some of the casino pools and how it's possible I can just walk in and that she's never had a problem. So that's how things are done in Reno! Hah. I guess people just keep their swimming to the Truckee River, which is spectacular in every way, honestly. And free.

Hello Truckee River. Fresh Tahoe water... ahhhh.

Switching gears, the house update. It's exhausting, honestly. We have an offer we've accepted and it's a good one. And we're happy for the most part. About as happy as two people can be who are paying basically two mortgages, two times utilities, a lawn service and still without any of their actual furniture in their empty rental (paying top dollar for) in Reno. We knew this was the option we'd choose in order to stay together, but moving and selling a house, in particular, is pricey. And so is the list of inspection not-so-related expensive garage doors they want us to provide. But that's neither here nor there. It's just, we're feeling stretched thin and also in the process of buying a new car because moving requires new tags and our almost 15 year old car is on its last leg and very well will fail their emissions test anyway. And that cursed premium gas is going to do us in with this 40+ mile commute and my 24-mile round trip adventures to find another, hopefully algae-free pool.

It's a car we're really excited about and one that is very popular in Northern Nevada (seriously, ever other car), Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Northern California, Maine and some of the upper Eastern states. Any guesses? But new cars also come with a heavy price tag and of course the costs are feeling extra heavy these days.

We'll get through it, but as super sensible people who really thrive on saving money, it pains us to see the money we're spending and will continue to spend until our house closes at the end of next month.

Tomorrow though, you'll find us back hiking trails and engaging in a nature program along with lunch out in the Galena Creek Regional Park, because if there is one thing Reno has that totally trumps anything our high-tax state of Illinois didn't, it's free and plentiful nature escapes in real woods with real trails and real elevation gain into the {real, not trash hill} mountains. Benjamin has placed his request for a hike with a stream. It's the real deal so, challenge accepted.

Double Difficult

Thank goodness we don't live in an apartment or condo with shared walls. I'm not sure how our wall-sharing neighbors would handle all. the. screaming. Whether it's from my kids (90%) or me at them (10%), there seems to be always someone yelling lately.

I totally regret the 10%, but sometimes it's just all I can handle and I blow my top. It's mostly to get the noise, their noise, to stop immediately. But ironically, raising my voice is the very thing that puts the icing on the headache cupcake.

Benjamin, as most of my readers know, has always been difficult. Since he was around two, he's been more than spirited. Explosive. I feel like I've written about this before. They have the book, The Spirited Child. And Love and Logic is great, for the more rational child. But what we needed was the extreme, The Explosive Child to really fully understand how he ticks. I need to go back and read that book again. Clearly I'm rusty. It's not pretty most of the time, but we have managed to (mostly) keep the insanity at bay if we can calm ourselves enough to remember the principles outlined in the book. But like today, I just had no patience for that.

Claire has learned all of her brother's nasty ways and immediately resorts to, "I will kick the wall. I will spit on you" when she isn't getting her way. But still, she appears to have some remorse eventually for her actions.

Benjamin asked me if I was drinking a beer with dinner tonight because of Claire's poor behavior (to his credit, her behavior was worse than his today). The answer was no, but it sort of morphed into yes as the night progressed.

Bedtime was early tonight, because Dad's out of town and moving is stressful and the kids have no toys (and those are really all just excuses).

Four and two. Phew. Some days I'm thrilled because they can be playmates, but just flip the coin and they can be absolute terrors to one another without either of them having a reasoning bone in their bodies. It takes a lot out of a mama.

I for sure threatened the babysitter card tonight.

Duckling Dash

Benjamin's preschool (mascot: ducklings) hosted an end-of-the-year race for the kids. Instead of a party or picnic, they had been practicing running with the kids and finally finished things off with this dash, which consisted of about 1/10 of a parking lot mile.

There was a sign hanging in the school office entryway that had a countdown to the duckling dash. In teacher speak, this was a countdown to summer break for teachers. Mmm hmm.

But really, it was a cute event. I did my own few mile stroller dash with Claire to the school and even had to cut my run a bit early to make it in time. Except I arrived on time and then had to wait another 30 minutes for his heat. Apparently they were in the business of lying to parents to make sure we didn't miss the 3-minute event. Solid move.

They ran as a class wearing special school t-shirts donated by a local hospital and then received medals, took a picture with their class, received 1/2 banana and a personalized school water bottle (of which Claire was totally jelly since her Buh Buh got a "special drink" and she did not. He also declined the banana and she would've never done that.)

Benjamin was pumped and ready and then... he fell. He and the boy next to him crossed paths a little too close and he took the fall. But instead of being sour about it like I was afraid would happen, he got right back up and his teacher grabbed his hand. He ran the rest of the way. I was totally proud of him, even though he ended up being a total crabpot the rest of the day after. One of the moms I chat with at the playground after school each day had her husband snap some shots of Benjamin racing away. I didn't ask her to, so it was a pleasant surprise.

I love how excited and determined he looks. He was not a fan of soccer and he has no interest in riding his bike, but he's a killer swimmer for his age and he likes to run. They're all different, I'm just glad he's finding his (healthy) niche. Now to just help him grow another inch so the sticklers at the pool will let him go down the slide since he's about 39.75" and needs to be 40". He's been down about 10 times now, but the cranky lifeguards are pushing back this year and he's all kinds of devastated over it.

That air shot above though? Totally my fave. Game face. Determined. Go-getter.

Piñata Creating. Mayo es, ¿verdad?

So I'm a little late.

The day before Cinco de Mayo, I saw a picture of a friend making a pinata with her daughter and it occurred to me that we didn't have a thing to do that afternoon. Paper mache is easy to manage and the kids would love it. I texted my neighbor for her leftover newspaper (she receives, we don't) and grabbed those up before mixing up a batch of flour and water for the afternoon indoor fun activity (since it appears it may never get warm in the Midwest ever).

Jumped on the bandwagon and the kids mostly enjoyed he process. Claire wasn't a fan of the mess (though typically she's ALL GOOD with coloring herself in full arm sleeve tattoos with marker). Benjamin kinda took the bull by the horns and jumped right in. I ended up finishing it, like almost all projects, because attention span was lacking after 30+ minutes. I'd say Benjamin tackled 60% of the paper mache solo, so I consider it a success.

It wasn't dry in time for a Cinco de Mayo celebration smash, so we had it laying on the deck in the sunshine to bake for some days. And finally, on May 16th, we decorated with pieces of colorful tissue paper and the hot glue gun. I stuck some twine in the sides and we popped popcorn on the stove to add to the inside as confetti/treat. The kids stuffed it before we hung it. Benjamin received some fairly negative marks from his teacher via email that day, so there was no chance I was putting anything sugary in there.

I hung it from a tree in the backyard and Benjamin took some major whacks to it and eventually we gave up on our incredibly sturdy construction and dumped the popcorn in bags and snacked away.

Sometimes it really is all about the process, as the product lay there, somewhat forgotten for ten days before we picked it back up and continued on (when I was just ready to send it out for trash pickup instead). Believe it or not, the breaking was rather anticlimactic.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that every single Easter while growing up, my adorable husband and his equally adorable family would make these very same balloon pinatas and break them open as an Easter celebration activity with the cousins. The tradition lives on.

Day in Pictures: Monday, April 11

6:00 Claire is up awfully early today, which is even worse when I couldn't get to sleep last night. Go in and tuck her again, hoping she's back to sleep soon.

6:45 She's up for good. Snuggle in bed, get gym clothes on and get Claire dressed for the day.

7:15 Benjamin's curtain is open, as I can see light under the door. Walk in, snuggles with him. Dress him while distracted with tickles because otherwise he would wear his Mickey superhero shirt or his creepy shirt and I would really like him to have a little variety so it looks like I actually buy him clothes.

7:25 Downstairs and Claire's crying over something. Get cinnamon toast started while B makes a "creation" out of the Hi-Ho-Cherry-O (butter + Vietnamese cinnamon I bought at a spice shop in Lincoln Park). Make smoothie (spinach, ice, apple, almond milk, banana). I hated the combo. Drank a cup despite hating it because I hate wasting food. Kids manage to eat at some point.

8:00 Teeth brushed, shoes on, jackets, on. Buckled in the car and off to the dropoff line at the Early Childhood Center B attends.

(I know about the jacket. It's SO rare, I promise. Not that it's an acceptable excuse, but we live .6 miles from school.)

8:15 Drive over to the YMCA and drop Claire in the kidcare. Run a quick treadmill 4 miles up tempo, practicing speedwork with inclines. Just bought a running watch to start running outside more since we're canceling our gym membership next month to save cash and because warmer weather means outdoor pool and outdoor running! Awkwardly avoid eye contact with one of Benjamin's former preschool classmate's mom as I walk by to grab the cleaner to wipe off my treadmill. She's nice, but she was running hard and I was in a hurry. And also, they go to different preschools now, so it's basically like the bloods and crips.

 9:15 Shower, blowdry my hair, apply makeup and make myself presentable. Listen to the senior women talk about how the maintenance workers aren't mopping properly and "sloshing" the lockers with the cleaner. They told the front desk people about the negligence, don't worry. I was worried.

Try to calm down about how much you love my gym "shower" shoes.

10:30 I was the Mystery Reader for B's class this morning. I brought 4 options and ended up reading In My Heart and Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. B thinks that book is hilarious. Sister was stoked to come sit with brother in his class. The feeling was mutual.

Signing in (with official sticker with my face and labeled, "mystery reader" even.) You can tell she is thrilled.

She knows the way. It's the very last classroom in the school and she hasn't forgotten. #stoked

11:00 Finally leave B's school with two kids who wanted to sit and play in the lobby forever. Head to a store to buy something they were out of and let the kids walk through the toy aisle for a few minutes. Ended up buying a roll of washi tape and also lost my children for a solid three minutes. I guess at least they were together. Found them near the fresh flowers where there was a woman keeping them captive. (They would be in a cart but they fight over who gets to sit in the top part, so we had to walk.)

12:00 Home for lunch. They had PB/cream cheese sandwiches and for dessert, Lucky Charms marshmallow treat we made yesterday (because leftover cereal from St. Patty's and surplus of marshmallows).

The moment you realize your husband stole the last of the takeout pizza from last night.

"Mom, it's warm outside. Let's go lay out there and eat our lunch."

1

2:50 Brush Claire's teeth and upstairs to sing "How I Wonder What You Are" and kisses before nap. Kids kiss through railing. 

1:00 Claire is yelling about being cold because she intentionally removes her blankets so I have to come in there and cover her back up. Sly. Cover her back up and head downstairs where B is yelling my name because there's a big mess Claire created that he doesn't want to clean up. He writes his name twice on the whiteboard easel for me entirely unassisted (requirement) and then selects The Cat in the Hat old school DVD from the library to watch. We love us some Dr. Seuss.

1:15 I do the dishes, remove stinking gym clothes from bag and realize I left my makeup bag at the YMCA. Call YMCA and have them hold at the front desk for me. Also, jot down a quick meal plan for the week on a piece of mail form the Art Institute. Because not a gym day, tomorrow's look for storytime: hobo.

2:45 Hear Claire kicking the crib rails, signaling all free time is up and nap is officially over. She woke cranky. Super. I set up some puzzles for them to run and grab mixed pieces and place. It worked well until Benjamin started shoving. And then tears. Eventually the puzzles were completed.

3:30 Outside to pull some weeds, tend to a smidge of yard work and chalk art with the kiddos. Still in jackets and not quite park all afternoon sort of weather at upper 40s.

She reaches the pedals fully now. When did that happen? 

 5:00 Back inside and reading Highlights High Five Magazines and then time to think about dinner because Claire has already grabbed a string cheese and opened it at this point. Kids have PB & cream cheese sandwiches (same as lunch, their choice) and string cheese. B finishes quick (rare) and chooses an ice cream bar for dessert (I bought for myself and hate. Anyone else love pawning off crappy treats on their kids instead?). Claire never finishes but manages to eat some of my dinner later.

5:30 Call my mom while prepping dinner and kids are eating. Used mandoline to make french fries and whipped up a quick chili on the stove. Chili fries for dinner.

7:00 Upstairs for bath. B flips out because he has a real fear now that all his bath toys will get sucked down the drain. His face is almost in tears every night as we try to explain that the plug prevents them from going down, and that they are all too big anyway. Still emotional.

7:30 Pajamas on and requesting rocketships from Dad and then a book in B's bed.

7:45 Prayers and kisses and bedtime for Benjamin as Claire hops in my bed. I close/lock his door first and then take Claire in her bed, as they both insist Mom does the final goodnight. Bedtime for the littlest immediately follows and finally... rest.

Easter Recap + Barbie Reaction

Didn't want to leave you all hanging with that Barbie post. My iPhone conveniently shot me that "sorry you idiot, but pictures are full and sucks to be you because now you can't take pictures of your cute kids doing hilarious things" right as I was about to snap the Barbie reaction. But have no fear, backup camera to the rescue.

Grandparents were in town, so that meant we got a real date night in during the Easter weekend. On a whim, we drove to Oak Park and toured Frank Lloyd Wright's first home. We walked through the neighborhood and checked out more of his designs, hit up a few thrift stores (for more Easter basket fillers the kids didn't need) and booked an Open Table for our favorite restaurant.

In addition to Easter service on Sunday, we decorated eggs, searched for baskets, enjoyed countless treats and fun with grandparents, made cupcakes, two pies, ate tons of delicious food, tried a new restaurant together, went out for donuts (because, more sugar obvi), played at the park, visited the children's museum, pool time, had a fun spa treatment with my MIL and had a great time.

It's always serious detox when grandparents come and leave. The few days after are hard on everyone, but the days with everyone together is oh-so-sweet.

Now the baskets. I probably filled the baskets too much. But I have this gift closet I hoard gifts the kids aren't developmentally ready for (that they received as gifts), I got for crazy cheap, or got for free somehow. I stuck a few of those in there along with thrift store book scores for $.25-$.59 each, a $3 and $5 Barbie (one for each), lacrosse sticks I got for $3.50 on clearance and some chocolate from their Aunt Mansa. It totals less than $20/per kid. Next year, they're just getting books. Or maybe a pat on the back and a high five. #spoiled

whose is whose?

Before church, the kids opened a gift from the Easter Bunny (Mickey Mouse waffle maker for breakfast). I could've stopped there, because at 2 and 4, they still haven't connected that Easter also means baskets. But since they are entitled, spoiled little chickens, they got more. Not to mention the variety of gifts brought by grandparents, box sent from their Aunt Mansa and box sent from their other set of grandparents. Really, no shortage of love here. Or candy.

Baskets, spotted!

Barbie time. Here's that reaction...

That used $.35 copy of Cinderella was actually the biggest hit. We have the movie, but he never watches it. But the book, new fave. He's also a huge fan of that Harold and the Purple Crayon book, another $.59 thrift purchase that looks brand new! I love used books for the price and the green purchase (reduce, reuse!). And the book is so age appropriate.

And naturally, the hair on the Barbie doll is all ratty now (didn't last 24 hours) and they are infrequently played with. But that was a given, right? Surprisingly, Claire is the one who requests hers to sleep with, but she's nurturing and says the same for her other babies.

Other things to note: Professor Wiseman in Curious George was a male back in Curious George and the Rocket and in more recent books, Professor Wiseman is a female. Fun fact. Also, in the Barbie, I Can Be President book, Barbie does indeed become class president (spoiler alert! HAH!) and she meets the President of the United States who is a female!

Why I Bought My Son a Barbie

If you know me well, you'd know I'm a moderate feminist.

Who never, ever would have considered buying a Barbie doll for her kids. Just a month ago, I spoke those words out loud to a group of friends at a party.

And here I am, a month later having purchased two of them for Easter baskets.

You see, my son has a keen interest in this "Barbecue Princess" he sees on previews and in print at the library. He sees them and their missing shoes (always, right?) in the 4-year-old-and-up area he was just graduated to at the gym kidcare. Because you know, those stinking shoes are choking hazards and also, profanity inducing to parents who have to pick them up or worse, step on them while barefoot. Just as hazardous as LEGO, and much less valuable.

Sort of.

I hate Barbie for all she stands for (or doesn't stand for at all, rather). And I'm saying that having a personal friend who I grew up with that works for Mattel as a Barbie designer. Yes, I saw the new launch of the "curvy" (ehm, normal) Barbie dolls and I didn't buy them. Why? Because they aren't appealing. They wear ugly denim skirts (and I like denim skirts!) and glasses and relatively modest clothing. That's all fine and good, but what, may I ask, is more appealing to small kids? Denim skirts or glittery tulle dresses and jewelry? The curvy variety just wasn't going to appeal. And so I left them on the shelf. I see those hitting Target red stickers pretty dang quickly. And I hate to say that I personally contributed to their demise by opting for the more popular skinny varieties.

Benjamin has been telling me he wants to watch Barbecue Princess movies. And while I tell him no, I really have no good reason to prohibit the book reading or imaginative play with the actual dolls. For all I know, Barbie might actually find herself a decent job in a spaceship or take a ride on Captain Hook's ship. It might serve her well. The movies, Benjamin knows, are for "older kids" because honestly, I can't bother to stomach the worthless plots and zero bits of moral value they provide. I just can't do it. When he's older and if he still has a love affair with the skinny lady, I'll revisit things. I try to encourage all forms of book reading, even with the plots being SO HARD to stomach.

I didn't always hate Barbie. I had a plethora growing up. One year, I even received three of the same variety at my park birthday party. I was wearing a sweet neon splotched sweater that I can vividly picture with a french braid and my brother was scowling in the background wearing a Los Angeles Dodgers blue baseball cap.

I tried to divert Benjamin's attention. I tried to tell him no. And you know what? He told me he would do it himself. At barely four, he was expressing to me that forbidding this (relatively harmless but obnoxious) doll would cause him to make poor choices against my wishes. And so I changed my wishes. I reevaluated. I reasoned. Because the last thing I wanted was for him to choose poor behavior or worse, feel ashamed of something he likes.

I had two criteria for a Barbie doll. She had to have pink and a crown. He loves both of those things and I think he'd quickly throw my investment to the birds if she didn't have that princess appeal. I also added a final criteria that she would have no shoes or removable clothing. I'm not searching for those stinking things. I bought Benjamin this ballerina one and a beachy one-piece one for Claire. I even bought some books and one about Barbie becoming President (insert laughing until you cry emoji here). Who knows, maybe by Christmas we'll expand the line to a Ken doll and some mini skinny, super tan and ripped kids. An update will be in order.

So on Easter Sunday, we celebrate Jesus and also, welcome the good ol' American feminist killer to our home.

Anyone else ever purchased something (they previously swore off) for their kids?

Dual Pool Party Bash Celebrating Two and Four

I didn't actually think about their birthdays being back-to-back months as something awesome. But when they are young, it turns out you can take advantage of a dual birthday party. Pay one fee. All the friends are the same anyway (at this age) and you only have to plan one party.

It was pretty sweet. I sent out an Evite, paid the YMCA $185 for 1hr of pool rental with 1 lifeguard, locker room + 1 hour in the party room with friends for dinner and cake. They supplied pizza for 12 kids (which is apparently FIVE large Domino's Pizzas and Honest Juice boxes, a tablecloth, napkins, plates, and a party host to setup, help, and clean up). We added in two more Costco pizzas (totally unnecessary given how much they supplied) and a Costco sheetcake, bringing the grand total to like $225.

And bonus, we had 2/3 of a large cake left and a whole Costco pizza, which then became our #fatkid indulgences for the rest of the week.

I bought some party favors as well along with pool toys, so the price was probably closer to $250. I threw a bunch of little birthday squirt toys in the pool and each one had an attending child's name on it, along with some filler shapes and things. I also bought some (really lame) bird dive toys that just ended up being the things the adults had to retrieve when the whole thing was over.

I try to only include the very most flattering photos of myself. 

The favor for each kid was a Buzz Lightyear bag filled with 2 markers and some individually packaged Crayola Model Magic I found on Amazon. I used the same party favors for his school gift to classmates, as special desserts aren't an option. I'm kind of obsessed with the stuff. Like kinetic sand, I might like it more than my kids. Good thing, because we have like 50 of those little packages left!

Benjamin and Claire wanted to place the candles on their cake themselves, so I just let them. I didn't anticipate them wanting to put on all the candles in the package, but hey. It was their party and it made them happy. Same cake, but Claire put on her 2 and Benjamin put on his 4. I bought a cool Buzz Lightyear and rocket candle at the Wilton tent sale last summer and then promptly dropped and broke Buzz's head off when I got home. I melted him back on and he was back in business.

Decorations were just some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse hanging party streamers above the kid's table that were leftovers from our California celebration with family. Throwing a party somewhere other than your home is brilliant because cleanup and planning is a snap. Noted for all years to come.

B and C have birthday heads that hang from the mantle all month + birthday countdowns! 

On Benjamin's actual birthday, I decorated his doorway with streamers and stuffed a bunch of balloons in his room after he fell asleep. Instead of excitement when he woke up, he was matter-of-fact about telling me there were a bunch of balloons in his room, complete with a confused look on his face. We had cinnamon rolls with 4 candles for breakfast, followed by a day of bday crowning and favor giving at school and an afternoon at a local ball factory/play zone where we went down tall slides and shot foam balls from cannons for about 2.5 hours. We completed the evening with dinner out at Noodles and Company, per the birthday boy's request.

Three birthdays in three months is no joke. And that, my friends, concludes birthday season. 

Benjamin at 48 Months

This kid has been anything but easy since he was about 13 months old when he stopped eating food. And so here we are at 48 months and still wondering how he eats enough to sustain life.

The insanity tantrums that were hours upon hours each day have sort of become a thing of the past, in part due to his nonstop talking. Not only can he communicate well, but he has the best vocabulary and is so expressive. If this kid isn't in theater, I'm going to be super surprised. 

His very favorite movies are Mary Poppins and Cinderella but he's kind of all talk (literally, all day long) because he very rarely actually watches either movie, especially in entirety. He prefers just watching Step in Time and talking at length about the mean stepsisters and how they "tored Cinderella's dress and that's STOP behavior." (His preschool follows a social emotional curriculum that refers to behaviors as Stop or Go. He's very quick to point out when others are having Stop behavior, natch.) 

He's still very involved in the swimming pool and we're all about keeping it that way. We visit the YMCA pool probably 2-3 times each week just to get our hour of swim followed by a 15 minute warm shower. They're so spoiled. Don't tell the drought ridden Californians. 

Preschool is actually one of his favorite places to be, when last year it was a fight to get him there. He's obviously quite engaged, despite his complete and utter disinterest to write letters on paper. 

He's definitely does his own thing, but I wouldn't necessarily consider him a leader. He has no interest in following other kids in play, but is still very quick to interrupt and steal toys out of jealousy. He always has his eye on what others are doing (so you know, he can take what he thinks belongs to him). He's a legit negotiator that keeps me on my toes with sharpening my own negotiating skills.

He loves his sister something fierce and really does engage and play with her at home. He's bold and daring and really funny.

Favorites List (at 4 Years):

Food: Peanut Butter

Treat: Chocolate, Candy

Breakfast: Cinnamon rolls or Waffles (staple)

Lunch/Dinner: Peanut Butter and some carb

Songs: Step in Time, Let it Go, Frere Jacques

Colors: Pink, Red (or whatever you have that he wants also becomes "but that's my favorite color!")

Clothes: Mickey Mouse Superhero Cape Shirt (I bought size 5 for backup because, obsessed), Crocs, Specific Pair of Mickey Pajamas (despite having 3 kinds, only likes 1)

Game: Hi Ho Cherry-O Disney Edition, Hide-and-Seek (if only he'd hide somewhere different each time!)
Activities: Science experiments, cooking with Mom in the kitchen, playing superheroes with Dad complete with capes, swimming, playing with the iPad, reading books with us, building forts

Obsessions: Castles, Princesses, Superheroes, Magic, The "Horn" (Matterhorn at Disneyland that he's 2 inches too short to ride), Airplanes

Books: Disney Anthologies, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Super Mousekefriends, Cinderella, Little Red Hen (love that Classic!), The Day the Crayons Quit (finds peach crayon hilarious)

Movies: Mary Poppins, Cinderella, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Minnie-rella, Dr. Seuss, Peep and The Big Wide World (big laughs)
TV Shows: Super Why, The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That
Toys: Building Towers, Random kitchen utensil, special rock, Melissa & Doug Pattern Blocks

Restaurant: Chipotle (by name), Noodles & Co.
Dessert Place: Forever Yogurt, Dunkin' Donuts
Words/Sayings: "Well...", "Eventually...", "I'm big enough because I'm four.", "I'll be two inches and then I'll go on the Horn", "Well then I'll get it myself", "I need to talk!"

He's definitely his own person and always has been. He doesn't fit the typical niche of young kids, so it makes me wonder what life will be like as he grows older. As a mom, I'm actually surprised how much time I spend worrying about his future. Will kids give him a chance? Will he make friends well? Will he fit in or struggle with finding his place? Will he find a career that suits him and makes him happy? Will he meet someone who loves him unconditionally forever? While I struggle to embrace his interests sometimes, I love him big and know these fears are really because this rainbow baby saved our lives in the time we needed him most, and I just want him to have a world that loves and accepts him. 

*He's literally wearing the Mickey Superhero shirt and Mickey PJ's in every picture. 

(I'm planning to get one of these up for Claire, but I'm already a month late and figured it made sense to just post his since his birthday just passed last week.)

The Dreaded Spring Conference

It's the conference that comes after they really get to know your kid. Not like that sweet fall conference where your kid is new and still on their good side.

I really, really never thought about what it would be like to be a parent in those chairs. Ever. Out of the hundreds of conferences I held pre-kids, it never once occurred to me what it would feel like knowing the teacher would analyze your child's behavior and development in front of you.

It's like opening that report card or getting your test handed back to you, unsure which way it could go. And it could definitely go either way.

This morning was Benjamin's conference. His teacher is wonderful and lovely and the speech pathologist that works in his class with other kiddos was out and around and is always so wonderful. His teacher personally has 2 daughters herself and is younger than me (because you know I stalked her teacher profile and found her on all the social media outlets). Which also makes me wonder what exactly the parents of my former students knew about me! Oh, that young and naive (touche) woman who doesn't even have kids yet. She won't know what's coming to her when she finally does.

The teacher seems to genuinely like Benjamin and thinks he is "so sweet" and "so funny", so at least we had positive marks there (or maybe being a preschool teacher means you find these little sociopaths to be cute). She's seeing progress in areas of counting objects (that dang #15!) and cutting along straight lines and retelling story sequence for comprehension.

He mostly plays by the rules (and not so much with peers), but recounted an incident when he wanted to be at another center instead of the one he was at, so he calmly grabbed his velcro face and walked to the desired center and swapped it out with another kid's face. Clever. Except she was quick to correct and he took position on the floor, uncooperative. But as far as behavior goes, he hasn't had a tantrum to speak of in her presence. So he doesn't share well. And he doesn't always want to cooperate. But we've come a long way from the kicking, spitting, biting and throwing that ruled his everyday just 6 months ago.

His fine motor is lacking and we discussed the possibility of him seeing an OT if it doesn't improve soon. He can trace his name (with bribery), but writing it freehand just isn't happening well. I can't tell if he just doesn't care to please (true on other accounts) or just can't. He can draw a picture of a person, but only with prompting on what to draw next, and there's no guaranteeing your ears will not be positioned on your legs. He holds the pencil/pen/crayon limp and uncertain. We're working with playdough to strengthen hand muscles and practicing more, but the kid simply has negative desire to be drawing or coloring or writing a thing. Gross motor and dramatic play all the way. He doesn't even like stickers and even has trouble peeling them off while 25mo Claire peels them easily and loves them abundantly.

And so, the bell sounded and the principal came on the loud speaker to announce the conference had ended and I breathed a sigh of relief as I exited the door. And then went home and immediately printed out more storytelling sequences and busted out that playdough and had him draw a picture of himself and write his name.

Being a mom on the other side of the table is way harder than holding that conference. Pass the wine.

$10 IKEA Art Transformed

I'm a sucker for the As-Is section at IKEA. I see low tags and great potential. Sometimes it totally pays off, like when we scored that single panel Werna curtain for our bedroom re-do for $10 instead of having to buy the pair at $50. Or the castle tent (BEBOELIG) for $10 from being a floor model. Or the toddler bed (with mattress) that was also a floor model for $60 out the door. Or even the kid's kitchen that retails for $80 that we bought for $30.

We kinda sorta love scoring deals. But you guys knew that. It's just plain fun. 

This was one of the flops though. I saw potential, but this art piece sat in the basement closet for years. In an effort to declutter and sell a bunch of stuff (which was a success!), I uncovered this old piece of framed art. The goal was to take out the old art and replace it. The frame alone was totally worth $10, being quite large. I didn't want the art, though I have nothing personally against seeing the female anatomy. I just don't really want this woman hanging on our walls. 

Benjamin's been begging for projects lately, and I'm trying to use this enthusiasm from my typically art-hating kid to cultivate some learning experiences around here. Plus, it makes for a more exciting week when the kids are engaged and not tearing up the house for no good reason. Winter, hurry the heck up and turn into spring already. 

Before and after of the naked lady transformation right here and now. (Which was super fun googling to find the image because I forgot to take a "before" picture, but then it occurred to me to just look on the back of the frame for the correct IKEA name to put into the google searchbar. Um, right.)

The picture is raised, but stuck to the matting. The white matting is just stapled on the back, so really it's a frame without the backing... not as valuable of a frame. Claire and I picked up two bottles of cheap acrylic paint at Michael's for $.79 each when we went to score that grab bag a couple weeks ago. I chose teal and she chose a wine color. We had the mustard color from a year ago when Benjamin was Daniel Tiger for Halloween and I made him a DT watch to match his outfit.

We have (what seems like an endless supply of) a collection of cheap dollar store painter's tape that I don't recommend ever using to paint a room. Frog tape ALL the way and worth the cost. But for art projects? Yeah, sure. Super easy to peel off because they barely stick anyway. I painted two layers of white acrylic paint over the lovely lady and her black background and then taped away, intentionally creating a heart because I'm always thinking of Andrew and hearts make me think of how much I love him and simultaneously how much I love his brother and sister. The heart was also strategic to cover up the actual heart (and um, breasts) of the former art behind it. My next step was using plastic wrap to cover the matting because I didn't want that ruined during the kid painting session.

We started out organized and while I knew they would probably mix paint, I didn't realize it would become a goal. Dip one, two, three and then paint the art. Okay. So kids always find a way to make it more interesting. I helped a little, but mostly just participating and not trying to improve. B spent the majority of time on the heart and I spent time focusing on mustard because they didn't use much for some reason. 

We replaced some art in our formal living room (turned bounce house/playroom) after selling the furniture in there (should be a post in itself, stay tuned!) to make it a more purposeful and fun space for the kiddos. We even took the mountain goat art from our entryway and shifted art a bit elsewhere to make the spaces work better. 

bounce house deflated, but not the action this room gets... anymore! Boring to BOMB.