Preparing for Flip

Flip's what we call Andrew's little brother. He's been called that since the very beginning when we saw his very active arms and legs during ultrasounds. He and Andrew both seemed to love their hands near their faces during ultrasounds.

Since I'm not quite ready to reveal the name just yet (TBA January 2012), I'll keep with calling him what we've called him since the beginning. Since he's set to make his appearance in about 10 weeks, we're attempting to get used to the idea. I said attempting. Because what we're feeling is completely foreign and unnatural. With Andrew, we were free as birds. The excitement was easy and the prepwork was a breeze. Now, every purchase or process is considered and researched and re-researched and made with great hesitance.

I spoke about our decision to choose cord blood banking for Flip. We pulled the trigger on that one just about a week ago. Also, I wanted to thank all of you for adding your experiences or explaining the choices you made in choosing whether to (or not) bank the blood. After our purchase, we received a package in the mail.

That was definitely something surprising. I guess that although we cashed out a bunch of money to a cord-banking company, I didn't expect to receive the medical package (for the blood) in the mail via FedEx. It made things feel very real. I'm really going to deliver this baby. He really does exist and he really will be coming out of my body at some point. I'm still struggling with the idea that he'll actually leave the hospital with us alive, but at least I'm to the point where I know he'll be here in a matter of 10ish weeks. We selected the cord blood company we did for a variety of reasons:

• Chicago-based banking facility - while not necessary, it was nice knowing they were super local. They also have banks in NY, CO, UT, IN, FL, MA, NJ but can store for any state.
• Same accreditation as Cbr, the highly advertised company I mentioned before
• Backup generators
• Done more successful transfers than most cord-blood companies
• Reasonably priced

We also have purchased things here and there that we changed our minds about from Andrew's pregnancy to now. For example, we originally had a very basic baby monitor. Who needs a baby monitor? Women have been birthing children for thousands of years and without technology! Riiiiight. Scratch that mentality. We needed something more suitable for our needs as over-paranoid parents and chose the AngelCare AC401 Deluxe Sound Monitor. It tracks movement and sound.

We also don't intend on letting this child out of our sight and therefore decided a co-sleeper was the solution. We bought an Arm's Reach Mini Convertible Co-Sleeper, along with some sheets.

We already have a Baby Bjorn Active with the winter cover, but we also now have the Ergo baby carrier with infant insert like this one. The jury is still out about the stars... but I think they're cute. Not sure if Ray would ever want to wear the thing, but I'm pretty sure he'll wear anything once Flip arrives healthy and safe. We're both pretty crazy about the idea of babywearing. I even bought the Ergo teething pads for the handles.

We had a pretty hard time finding a thermometer we liked that didn't get terribly conflicting reviews and decided on this one after all. Again, we were so naive before in thinking that regular thermometers would be suitable for a newborn. No longer will we think that for something as simple as a $35 purchase.

In dreaming again, I've always secretly wanted two items that we didn't buy for Andrew because I didn't think we needed them (again with the minimalist mentality) and I didn't want to spend the cash. One of those items was a high chair. We have a booster seat that I figured would be suitable since we also own the Bumbo.

However, I've always secretly wanted a Stokke Tripp Trapp highchair. Problem is, they go for about $300 with all the bells and whistles. But, the Wilsons are all about a great deal! We happened our way into a local high-end consignment store and found one for... wait for it... $35! It is the walnut color and in nearly perfect condition. It came with the older model insert (which can be replaced), but it's very functional and purchased at such a bargain. I'm convinced the store had no idea they were practically giving the thing away. Even looking on Craigslist, they don't go for anything under $100 used and most are vibrant colors. I've also secretly hated highchairs because they are bulky and full of fabrics and cheap plastics that would just create more for us to clean and make our house look overtaken by bulky kid furniture. This will definitely be a piece we'll keep in the family for a long time and it even came with the manual! And even better, it's been made the same way for about 40 years! It's a classic and very European-- as it is a Norwegian brand, after all. Yes, $35. I know. And of course we took every single piece apart and washed/sterilized it. All set to go for when we have a 6-month old. I. cannot. wait.

There's one last piece that I think I'll be holding out for a long time. Our stroller is nothing fancy. I was very specific about the carseat we chose, but I didn't care for the stroller. I was also overwhelmed by the prices and options that accompany such a purchase. I was more concerned with painting walls and getting that nursery in shape. Well, it's in shape and ready and been vacant for 21 months of waiting for baby at this point. But dreams are out there for one of these Bumbleride Indie strollers. Except, I already have two strollers and a snap-n-go that are plenty. I've told myself that instead of buying a single, I should just wait until baby #3 rolls around (2013 anyone?) and buy the double in this lovely number. I know, let's just get at least one live baby here before I purchase another stroller. Hah.

Who knows. I'll probably have a new love interest by then. That's a long time and quite a bit of gestating away... and that's only if our luck stops sucking as bad as it has. : /

We're just about out of things to buy for Flip that we feel are necessary. In the beginning I couldn't see us buying anything until I was literally in the delivery room-- but then I realized I needed something to distract me and what better to distract me then researching random items that will sit in a room and wait! Hah. It's only a little pathetic, I hope. There's always clothes to buy... but he has quite a bit, as is! We've purchased things randomly from BabyGap and Carter's, but only if there was a crazy sale or I had some awesome coupon (like today for example when I purchased two pair of socks, a onesie, and a bib for $2.34 from BabyGap). There's also this sweatshirt we needed to have so Flip can take after his Dad and play lacrosse.

Time is c-r-a-w-l-i-n-g and we're getting impatient. The nursery still looks like a tornado took a bunch of unused baby products and threw them all around, but we aren't at the place where we're ready to sift through and organize just yet. We'll see when I'm ready for that-- probably not until I have a clear induction date to set my sights on. We need more distractions and for these weeks to speed by like a bullet. This is definitely the hardest time since the initial weeks-- and even then I was in such denial (without the kicks) that it was easier to let go. I've never been more anxious in my life knowing he's viable, over 2 pounds (!) and likely able to sustain life outside of the womb. Of course he belongs inside the womb for longer, but I'd like to be put into a bubble until then. How did you other women (BLMs) do it? Because, wow.  
   

Soundoff: Cord Blood Debate

I spent my morning at the OB's office for gestational diabetes screening and the hemoglobin check. Passed with flying colors and only gained 1 pound in the last month. I don't suppose that makes up for the 20 I gained in the first 20 weeks, right? We talked about my crazy-lady tendencies and how we ended up at the L&D ward yesterday. And then she left us with something to think about: cord blood. My OB highly encouraged banking our cord blood for this baby. She went on to talk about the technology and stem cell research and cerebral palsy and how amazing things are being done to save lives and improve the quality of life with this stuff.

And of course she's probably getting a kickback from CBR, as it's the only company I had memorized myself from the mass amounts of marketing they do. If you've been pregnant in the U.S., chances are you've held their pamphlet in your hand at least once. Or a bag they print to hold your pregnancy magazines and swag from your OB's office. You know the little girl staring down at her belly button on the white and purple brochure. I am not endorsing them. As a matter of fact, we almost certainly will not use them ever because there are other, cheaper companies that are also accredited and reputable. Just mentioning them because they attack you with their brochures.

Now, I know that other than the possible kickback my OB might get from endorsing them, she also is looking out for our well-being and the well-being of this new baby. She is endorsing anything under the sun that might give us a fighting chance if we do end up a very small statistic again. But also, she likely feels an obligation to endorse something that could mean we don't lose another baby. She feels as though her success as an OB with our case of loss and hopefully life again is contingent on her giving us all the options and encouraging we do everything in our willpower (and pocketbook) to see that things pan out differently. She also wants the success of a healthy baby and wants to ensure that happens because she is a good person.

While pregnant with Andrew, we were bombarded by the blood banking companies and their mass amounts of paraphernalia. It turns out that no matter what, banking cord blood was out of the question-- obviously. But if we had a normal birth with a live baby as the outcome? We would've probably declined the opportunity. Why? Because it's so stinking rare to be in that tiny, itty-bitty percent of people who actually need the cord blood ever. This technology is relatively new anyway and as I've written before, we are were the minimalists. Who needs a video baby monitor, let alone to bank cord blood for something so statistically rare anyway?

Yeah, well now we're the statistic. We weren't convinced in all our research that cord blood was the way to go anyway-- as you can read all over the web and in print that cord blood may not even help your child even if they were in need of it. That certain races don't benefit as frequently as others in the use of their cord blood. That it will likely be a huge waste of money. 

And here we are now. We have lost our firstborn and his entire life. While it had nothing to do with our decision against cord blood before (like I said, didn't matter anyway), it sure did place us in a minority. A tiny statistic that doesn't happen to over 99% of people. But it happened to us. So this whole cord blood talk has found new meaning to us. I'll tell you now that we are almost certain to go for it this go-around. We wouldn't want that (still) slim chance of cord blood being helpful to inhibit this child from having a full life that continues on way past we are in our graves. We don't want the prospect of $3,000 (give or take) to be the reason our child cannot have critical stem cell research if needed. I guess that opens up our political views on that subject a bit. Try convincing a couple who lost a child not to believe in stem cell research. I scoff.

I've been reading a blog over the years of a woman whose son has cerebral palsy. He had a stroke at birth-- but his family saved the cord blood. They're thankful they did, because stem cell research may be the key that helps their child speak more clearly and live a more "normal" life. 

Advantages that I can see:

- potential life-saving possibilities

- potential sibling support

- stem cell research leading to better quality of life and/or saving life

Disadvantage:

- cost (upfront and annual)

When you've lost it all, you hardly want to let something so trivial as a few thousand dollars prevent you from having the best care and chance to survive for future babies. I'm not sure we'd be able to forgive ourselves if this baby was born and needed the blood at some point and we didn't based on cost. Plus, who needs new furniture anyway? Someday we're all going to die and leave it all behind. Perhaps though... it could mean our children will live a little longer or enjoy life more fully.

So here's where I open this to you... if you're not comfortable sounding off by name, please do so anonymously. We'd love to hear your opinion on the matter. Did you bank cord blood? This question is open to all and not just baby loss parents. Would you bank it again? Any stories to tell or companies you've researched or recommend? Do you still disagree completely with the process and want to sound off on that? This might also help fellow pregnant mothers/fathers who are interested or considering the same thing.