Chit-Chat with Ben + Claire

Me: Do you want to take a bath?
C: Yeah, but a short bath. Not a long bath.
Me: Why not a long bath?
C: Because my fingers will get lines on them.

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B: [Sigh] OH. That guy is smoking.
Me: Where? In that truck?
B: Yeah. But it's okay, because he's a grandpa.

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C: Um, hey Mommy. When I'm four, I can, um... drive the car.
Me: Silence {and big eye emoji}

Benjamin Babble VI

Scene: Snack time with the kids. Tortilla chips are a favorite, especially with guacamole.

B: "Claire, you can get another chip because you're beautiful." (Good, only attractive people are allowed food. What am I teaching this kid!?)

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Scene: Claire is waking up from nap. I announce to Benjamin that I'm going to go get her.

B: "Get her down."

Me: (Walking upstairs, wishing my son willingly used polite words...)

B: "Do you want to run with me, Claire? Do you want to run or sweep with me? You pick."

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Scene: Breakfast time and Claire is not eating the meal she requested by name.

B: "Claire, you asked for a bagel, now eat the bagel. Claire, why are you drama today?"

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Scene: B looking at a book and sees a picture of Earth.

B: "Mommy, that's the Earth. I want to go there."

Me: "But you live there. Everyone lives on Earth."

B: "I need to go in an airplane to get there. I can take a kite, too."

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Scene: At children's museum exploring conductors and insulators. There are bars filled with either metal, plastic, rope or wood. The goal is to place the bars into the space and they will light up if a conductor is chosen.
Me: "Metal is a conductor. See inside these? These ones are metal and these are not. Only the metal ones will help the electricity travel and create light."

B: "Yeah, it's a conductor and it holds many passengers." (train brain)

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Scene: B is singing in the car. Claire is not amused.

B: "We love you, yes we do, oh we love you. (Thank you, PBS.)

C: "NO! NOOOO!"

B: "Claire, I don't like your apitude. Go to your room."

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Scene: Claire, holding my phone to her ear.

B: "Claire, are you talking to your peeps?"

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Scene: It's dark outside and we're driving. B appears to be trying to fall asleep, which is NOT ALLOWED because he's the worst at transitioning and he is super cranky when he wakes. It was almost bedtime and I wasn't letting that become interrupted.

Me: "No, you can't fall asleep! Keep your eyes open!"

B: "I'm just closing one eye." (We are so in trouble with this one. Always a negotiator.)

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Scene: B saying silly things.

B: "The Cat in the Hat is a table. He's a blue table. He's a crack up."

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Scene: Explaining to B the plan for the next morning as we're getting ready for bed.

Me: "We're going to wake up, eat breakfast and go to the museum tomorrow morning."

B: "You're correct."

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Scene: Random chit-chat among siblings.

Claire: "Cookie."

B: "Cookie? Are you serious, Claire? I don't have a cookie."

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Scene: Chatting in bed during the wee hours (because they wake toooooo early...).

Me: (talking to B) "Did Claire wear that sleepsack while she was sleeping?"

B: "Yeah, that annoys me."