I've been married 7.5 incredible years. Well, some of those years weren't so incredible, but not based on my choice of husband. He was nothing short of amazing through all of our heartbreak and remains so to this day.
I kind of won the jackpot with that one.
When I picked out a wedding dress, everyone thought I'd choose a simple A-line because I've never been the frilly type. I didn't. I grabbed the pretty princess dress. It was the 4th dress off the rack and I was done trying them on in an hour. Probably to the dismay of my mother who loves all things lace and frills and girly. I've just never fit that category too well. That probably means Claire will love all that stuff and I'll have to embrace the pink. Grandma will be stoked.
It was off the rack, but still needed tailoring (which I'm convinced can be avoided, but alas). It was tailored and ended up being something like $700 when it was all said and done.
And then I wore it once. The best day of my life in a dress I still think is quite beautiful. And on July 26, 2008, I stuffed that dress and its accompanying petticoat in a comforter bag and stuffed it in the closet. And then I put it on a moving truck and brought it to Illinois where I stuffed it in a wooden chest. I told my mom I planned to throw it away and she wasn't keen on that idea.
I didn't sew it myself or pour hours and hours into it like my mom did making hers. Probably thousands of brides that same year had the same dress. It wasn't mine... just a "borrowed" style and one that I was grateful for that year, but won't ever use again. It hasn't been cleaned and is still dirty on the bottom from our outdoor reception. I never planned to have it professionally cleaned or have someone cut half of it off and stuff it in a display box (to be stuffed in another closet).
I could probably save it for Claire, but what if she never marries? And really, I don't know a single person who wore their mother's gown, especially a gown off the rack at David's Bridal. Maybe earrings or veil or another piece to check off the something old category of superstition, but never the dress.
I'm in a purging mood. But I didn't want to just throw it away. So I'm donating it. I have the amazing husband and the perfect set of rings and three beautiful children from a marriage I'm honored to have.
But the dress? It's just a thing that isn't contingent on having a happy marriage or fulfilling life. And it's taking up a lot of space.
A nice girl from the city is coming this afternoon to pick it up and hopefully wear it for her own wedding day. And I couldn't be more elated (and maybe a little nervous to hand it over). But really, it would be so nice to gift it to someone who can use it again for their happiest day ever.
A few months ago, my mom bought us a certificate for this place nearby called The Room. The whole premise is that six people (max) are locked in a room and have to puzzle, search, riddle and unlock their way out.
We booked a babysitter for 9 p.m. on a Sunday night thinking we'd totally be able to sneak away for 1.5 hours (including travel time) for this experience and the kids would have no clue we even left.
Not so. Like every seasoned parent knows, someone is going to be sick or inevitably scream your name because they lost a blanket or something. Sure enough, Benjamin woke in that little window of time and all the babysitter gave me was, "Well, let's just say I was not the person he wanted to see when the door opened."
He's an angry sick kid. Frankly, he spent the greater part of a year before this just being angry for no apparent reason. We're turning a corner, but sick Benjamin is not pleasant. This week has been pretty brutal. I'm certain there was kicking and screaming for that babysitter. Maybe even spitting. I just feel bad for the poor high-schooler neighbor girl who was in English class this morning thinking that she may never want children because of my punkass three-year-old. At least she had plenty of material for her Quick Write this morning.
But The Room.
We arrived and immediately saw the teammates who we'd be locked in a room with for an hour. Four total nerds. They were geeky. They reminded me of my LA rocket scientist friends, except those friends were also a bit wild and crazy in addition to being crazy smart. These four guys shared a compact car to the place (carpooling, how green!). For three of the four, this wasn't their first "room" experience. In fact, they referred to themselves as avid hobbyists. We even had to introduce ourselves to them before they wanted to get started. Their idea. Actually that guy in the blue shirt holding the sign. He was the ring leader.
Do you ever look at pictures and ask yourself WHY you do the stupid hand-on-hip thing? Just me? Probably.
We were given the rule spiel and then they locked us in with the geeks and set the alarm. We searched under everything, found hidden passages and locked boxes (to be unlocked), solved math problems and riddles and puzzle boxes. We used magnets and string and water and picked apart every bit in this bedroom-sized study room. I kind of felt like I was in the game Clue, in the library with Colonel Mustard. Except there were 5 of them, plus me.
It was definitely an experience. We used one of the three clues allotted to us and finished with almost 10 minutes to spare, making our escape. It was fun. It was totally weird. It was the nerdiest thing I've done in years.
Last week, my mom came into town to watch the kids so we could be downtown from Wednesday - Sunday for a big industry association event. If you're part of the industry, you are there. Someone in your company shows up. Your fellow manufacturers, distributors and colleagues are there. Typically, I travel to the location (because it's usually awesome) with the kids and explore while the husband is out until early morning hours "networking" with industry folks.
He's been attending for the majority of his time with the company, but this was his first as president. Even more exciting, last year he was asked by the president of the association to be the chair of the planning committee for this year's industry summit. Conveniently located in Chicago and being a young and innovative guy in the industry, he happily accepted. Not a bad resume builder.
And so he planned his tush off. He changed the format of the entire summit and introduced a 3-speaker Ted Talk style event that led to breakout sessions to take in two of your favorites for a deeper dive into their talks. He was one of the speakers to introduce his speakers and be the voice of the association for this summit. One of the guys was an actual Ted speaker and artist, but the others were more on the economist side of things that the industry is used to. Reviews of the event (he planned) have been nothing short of excellent.
I was there for the whole thing. It was so awesome. In addition to matching faces with names, having a load of delicious food and cocktails, being there to take in all his hard work, and sleeping in a comfortable hotel bed without kids waking me each morning, I also got to go on a food tour of the Gold Coast and Old Town with other industry wives. I also stayed up way too late each night "networking" as well and wore heels the majority of the time (that I consider are absolutely without a doubt little torture devices for women). I feel like I'm too feminist for those stupid things. But oh do they look so good.
And guess what? We took our first Uber ride. Seriously, I'm so hip. They even sent me a summary of my first ride with a map, exact (to the hundredth of a mile!) mileage, cost, and a picture of my driver in an email invoice/receipt after. If you want to take an Uber and wanna save yourself $20 on your first ride, I'll go ahead and shamelessly share my code for you all: brandyw508ue and if you use, I get $20 to my account for future rides, too. Not a bad deal. And really, I am sold on the service and will probably never take a standard cab again.
The whole post was really to just praise my incredible husband and how awesome he was in planning a hospitality event for his company that absolutely showcased their products in the best light and shared their impressive history with their distributors. It was just awesomely cool to see him kill it at the whole thing.
Four days away from the kids also meant their Gawbee spoiled them rotten and the littlest is now totally struggling with separation anxiety. Sleep has been rough. Naps have been tough. Leaving her at the gym for that hour a couple times a week has actually gone smoother than expected, despite her reminding me "Mama, [comes] back" every single day for at least a dozen times thereafter. She's clearly anxious. Sleep regression at 21 months totally sucks. Benjamin was just never that attached to me.
We're back in the mix of things (sort of) and next week, plane flight. Savannah adventures await!
Eight years ago today, we started hiking just after midnight (when our permits were valid) with two friends to the top of Mt. Whitney. It's the tallest peak in the lower 48. We took 16 hours from start to finish, hiking 22 miles. We'd been engaged just two months at this point and were loving life.
I'm only bummed we didn't know there was a geocache up there when we hiked! We would've totally found it!
When I graduated college with an undergraduate degree in journalism, my parents took me on a trip to New York. It was a wonderfully epic trip and we did just about everything a tourist would do in the city. It was all we wanted and we all had a great time. I hadn't been back (well, not to Manhattan) since.
When we planned our Cape May vacation, we immediately thought about leaving the kids with their grandparents and Aunt Mansa for a date night in the city! I'm a city girl through and through. Our suburb is populated, but it's not a big city. I love the energy and nightlife and activity.
We booked the Broadway tickets in advance to see The Book of Mormon. More on that in a moment. We booked the hotel in advance. Baby, we were getting out of town!
I'm just sad it's over now.
We drove up Tuesday morning, early. On the way, we stopped in Atlantic City to check out the hoopla. We'd never been there, but we knew a great deal about the financial strains they've been dealing with. We literally pulled right up to the sand next to the Revel Casino (closed in 2014) and parked. We walked on the boardwalk, saw the Steel Pier and grabbed a few geocaches. It probably helped that it was a Tuesday around 8:00 a.m.
Atlantic City, Revel Casino, Showboat (both closed), Times Square NYC
We pressed on to NYC and about 4 miles before we got to our hotel (still in New Jersey), we stopped off for E to call in to a work meeting. We grabbed some lunch after and headed into the city. We probably paid over $150 in tolls on this trip. Like woah.
Parked, explored, shopped, grabbed a geocache and checked into our hotel. We were 500 feet from Times Square. Awesome. We dressed up for dinner at Toloache and then off to Broadway.
Those cocktails were ridiculous.
We left feeling... disappointed. Kind of disgusted. Wishing we'd chosen another show, honestly. It was just offensive. We know it was meant to push the envelope and what we saw on the Tony Awards was downright hilarious. Half of the show was funny. The other half was just too dirty. There was a reoccurring joke about raping babies. That's not funny. There was a joke about domestic abuse. Not funny. There was a song that literally said, "Eff you God" on repeat. You don't have to be a believer in God to find that offensive. It's just hateful.
We grabbed some cookies at a fun place called Schmakary's. It doesn't get more wholesome and innocent than cookies. The key lime and oatmeal scotchie cookies we ordered were delicious. On our way back, we noticed ABC News was right on the corner of our hotel street.
Caching around NYC and in Central Park + wishing we were at Jimmy Fallon.
GMA peeps.
We set our alarms for early (I know... no kids...why!) and headed out to watch Good Morning America. I don't watch the show, but my major in undergrad was journalism. I still have a love for all things broadcasting and get a little giddy when I get to see it all in action. At one point, that's exactly what I wanted. It's not where I belonged, but I do still find it exciting. On the other hand, MY MOM is literally Good Morning America's BIGGEST FAN. For serious, y'all. She calls me probably once a week to tell me something she "heard on Good Morning America." I knew it's what she would do if she were there, so I figured it would be fun to do it for her. And then call and tell her we might be in the audience!
We were. It was interesting. We've both been in audiences for quite a few shows before having lived so long in LA. This was unique because we were just standing around the entire time, coming and going as we pleased. Anyone could walk up at any time. The guests were Ed Helms and some Bachelorette contestants.
More Good Morning America, Philly Liberty Bell & dinner & mini date night back in Cape May at The Lobster House
Once over, we started our run into Central Park and found three more geocaches. We made our way back to the hotel and then got ready to head out. This time, we took ourselves south via Philadelphia. We had lunch at a really cute sandwich shop. I'd never been to Philly before and there was a work colleague of E's we were able to squeeze in a little visit with. After, we explored Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, found a couple geocaches, had a few beers and a great Thai dinner before eventually ending our super long date driving the 1.5 hours back to Cape May after the kids were happily in bed for the evening.
We continued the trend with mini date nights after the kids were in bed each night. We'd walk the little town, find geocaches in the dark, enjoy a beer... whatever we wanted. It was so luxurious. It's also reason enough to sing the praises of overpriced house rentals over hotels-- kids had their own rooms and spaces which meant we could move about without disturbing them.
Our 7th anniversary was celebrated the day after we arrived in Cape May. My SIL surprised us with the best cake, congratulating us on our 7 years and my awesome husband on his recent appointment to president of his company. What a great trip.
Kids literally suck out all of your energy. Energy for doing anything for yourself like reading, watching a TV show, going out with friends, having an enjoyable dinner...
I'm finding more and more that kids are sucking the life out of my marriage. Not that we are having issues, because we're totally fine. In fact, I'm not sure there is a soul on this planet who would understand me after losing Andrew quite like he does. Because he lost Andrew too. We both lost our son. We have a great time in the snippets we do converse with one another, but they're just snippets these days.
As soon as the husband gets home at night, it's like a shift change. I pass him off some of the duties as I tend to others or tend to neglected ones. He grabs a kid-- usually Benjamin-- and takes him to the park, plays with him, heads outside to work on yardwork with him, etc. I care for Claire and/or tend to the house or dinner.
Then it's bath, bed for the kids and bed for us me. He usually stays up a bit longer reading a magazine or something. I just can't afford to forfeit the sleep since it's so sparse these days. The first stretch of the night is the longest for Claire, so I must get some rest myself so I can have enough energy for the littles to suck it out of me the next day.
I miss date nights and romantic walks on the beach. I miss the beach, but that's a whole other blog post. I miss thinking of creative ways to surprise one another and leisurely eating dinner with a few glasses of wine. I miss holding hands and going for bike rides and cuddling on the couch.
With the kids, there's just no time for one another. I could be making a huge generalization here, but it seems that families who live close to involved (as there is a difference) grandparents tend to be a little more carefree, a little less stressed, and have a little more romance in their relationships. I'm not talking anything sexual over here (but go ahead and assume that there's little time for any of that either), just connecting. Having time just to be with one another and enjoy being in love. Surely it's not like the butterfly fluttery days of our dating, engagement and first few years of marriage, but to make new memories and bring us back to when things were simpler and just about the two of us. Before grief.
I know these years are fleeting and I'm not wishing them away. I'm merely writing about the hectic life of families from the inside out. Before kids, this just wasn't something I ever thought about. There is a season for everything. We left a season of just-the-two-of-us and now we're in the season of small children. Soon they will both sleep fully through the night and be weaned from breastmilk and the freedom to be up past 8:30 at night drinking that wine and cuddling on the couch and watching that TV show will be the present season. And then I'll miss those moments when they pass, too. Interesting, this life.
But for now, I miss my husband and know it's okay to miss the past while being excited about the present and the future. Ebb and flow. Ebb and flow.
My mother-in-law was a math teacher. She's taught middle and high school math, but has spent most of her career as a guidance counselor. Though, she's never really lost her love of numbers. Once a (math) teacher, always a (math) teacher.
When my in-laws were visiting and meeting Claire over Valentine's weekend, she announced that our family number is five. I caught on that Andrew's birthday is the 5th immediately... but the others took some explaining.
My birthday is the 10th My husband's birthday is the 13th
Together:
1+0+1+3 = 5
Andrew's birthday is the 5th
= 5
Benjamin's birthday is the 23rd
2+3=5
Claire's birthday is the 14th
1+4=5
Last week, I overheard my husband telling Benjamin that his favorite number is 6. In the 8 years of us being together, I never knew that. Then he asked what my favorite number is... I told him I don't have one.
While I think it's very cool that we have some mathematical connections as a family, I do struggle with five being my favorite number. A family number, okay. I can stand behind that because I love the connection of us all being weaved together in a web. My favorite number would've been four. If the doctors had the same intuition for Andrew as they did for Claire and pulled him out before it was too late.
In the summer, Ray booked a work flight to Seattle. That's one of my favorite cities and located in one of my most favorite states in the U.S. I was totally jealous, but the thought of a very short visit and dealing with two long flights with Benjamin just didn't appeal to me at the time. I also think I was still feeling icky and exhausted from pregnancy that it was just not happening.
But man did I want to go. If we had local relatives, I'd have been on that plane in a heartbeat. When he arrived home, we declared a trip needed to be planned because it's rare we don't have something travel-related on the books. That night, we booked flights. I had been researching flights to Puerto Rico and round trip they were coming up under $300. You read that correctly. They climbed above $300, but not by much when we booked our tickets. They were to be our last flights with Benjamin during my pregnancy with Claire. It's really discouraged for me to travel much at this point with all my pregnancy issues, so this was it. And in case you're curious, Benjamin was a perfect gem on the 4-hour flight there (thank you iTunes downloads of Daniel Tiger, raisins and M&Ms!) but received an F for the 4.5 hour return flight. Such a bad baby. Though he did learn how to say sorry after hitting so much on that flight. Silver lining? Ugh.
While we love traveling with the wee one, we're excited to travel back someday (we never say that!) to drive through the island and hike through the rainforests-- you know, without a needy toddler and big ol' belly that inhibited us from really getting into things this go around. If you've ever traveled with us (sorry parents!), you'd know we're not the type to just sit around. We are always go-go-go because we want to see everything. Perhaps that wasn't the best method to travel through Europe with our family, but we really wanted to share as much as possible. A little zany, but the husband and I are good together.
We did see the city, a rainforest and even did an island hop with the locals. Here's our trip in days:
Thursday arrival: We grabbed a taxi to our hotel. We checked-in and headed out to the beach and dinner immediately. We didn't really intend to go to the beach, but to walk near it and maybe touch the water. Except, that didn't happen. Once B got sight of that water, there was no turning back.
Clothing had to be removed because it was soaked after our toddler decided he had no inhibitions.
Consulted Yelp for a walking distance local food joint and found Bebo's. We had Mofongo-- meat/veggies topped on mashed yucca and covered in sauce. Good and super heavy.
Friday: Our hotel room was insanely small and if both Ray and Benjamin put out their hands, they could be touching from their beds. Needless to say, sleep wasn't optimal. But... it's travel and we already assume that possibility. But what we don't assume is our son waking up with a fever (101.8) for the first time ever at 3:30 in the morning. And staying up. But, like we always do, we treated the baby who was in good spirits after some liquids and meds and carried on about our day. We decided to head to Old San Juan because we thought that day would be the safest to avoid the big crowds from cruise ships. We were right. Other than the humidity and heat being so intense, it was a nice day of exploring. We explored two parts of the fort (located about a mile from one another), had lunch in the middle of a big quad area where B was able to roam, and took the city bus from our hotel with the locals for $.75-- costing us a grand total of about $3 for transportation as opposed to a $20 cab each way. Not to mention having to schlep the carseat through the city with steep inclines and cobblestone streets. The bus proved to be a fantastic decision because Benjamin was thrilled to be on one and repeated bus over and over again with sheer joy on his face. You'd have thought we gave him a pony. When we arrived back at our hotel after a long stroller nap, we headed out again to the beach (this time with proper clothing) and for a dip in the pool before grabbing dinner.
Castillo de San Cristóbal
Empanadas for lunch in the open square near the fort. Bought from another locals joint. Bus ride back and more water fun.
Saturday: This day started off interesting. We decided to rent a car because we wanted to get to this port area and it would've been so much more expensive to do so by taxi. Ray took a morning jog to the rental car agency and unfortunately, they were sold out for some big event. The morning consisted of some local park time and in the afternoon, we took a taxi to the airport where we finally rented a car. We then did some exploring and traveled to the El Yunque Rainforest. We brought B's carseat and this was the first (and last for awhile) time he had ever been forward-facing. It was just easier because we forgot the floor strap/latch which makes the carseat rear-facing safe. He was in the center seat and saw everything... including the chips in the front seat of which he requested every 2 minutes.
Unfortunately, we arrived at the rainforest just a couple hours before closing (though free for Veteran's Day weekend!), so we didn't get to experience all we could've if the sun remained high longer. But really, this pregnant lady and her toddler were not making any major hikes this go-around... so it was fitting. We walked around the visitor's center and drove to see a waterfall. We drove a bit more to see if we could get a glimpse of the other waterfall, but were told it was a 30-minute hike. It had just rained, so the ground was slippery and there was just no way we could make it with the sun setting. It was a beautiful drive, but definitely didn't meet our full quota of rainforest credit. We'll just have to go back. :)
Park right on the beach.
El Yunque Rainforest walking...
Sunday:
This was our big adventure day. We read on Trip Advisor that there are a few accessible islands just off the coast of Puerto Rico. And of course we wanted to check that out! These islands are heavily visited by the locals and since it was a Sunday, we knew we had to get there early and be diligent. We visited Culebra as it was well documented by past tourists and the beach sounded great!
All of the information we read said we needed to be there at 7 a.m. (our hotel was an hour away by car... which means we got up at 4 a.m. Chicago time!) to be in line for ticket sales. The ferry sells out and if you're not in line, you may have driven an hour to get there for nothing as there are limited ferry boats. What's awesome is that the ferry was something cheap like $2.25/adult for an hour ride over. It was just a matter of getting there. And so we did. We were there, in line by 7 a.m. When I asked a police officer if I was in the correct line (with at least 100 people already in front of me), he told me that once the ticket booth opens, I would have priority because I am pregnant. Thank you, Claire! Belly for the win! We knew we were safe even 100 deep in line, but it was sure nice not to stand in the hot sun with our toddler waiting to buy tickets.
And then, when we got into the waiting area building, we even had a special seating area and didn't have to wait in the line to board the boat-- either direction! Serious score on the belly bump. While we waited, we had some local fried pastries for breakfast and then endured the boat ride that had me feeling a bit woozy in the end. Benjamin was not in happy spirits either, so we're assuming he was feeling a little seasick.
Once off the boat, we grabbed a taxi and were off to Flamingo Beach for the day. It was beautiful and we had a great time. It was definitely the highlight of the trip and also the only place Benjamin ate an actual meal other than raisins, peanut butter spoons and granola bars. He had a sandwich and tangerine sitting on the beach and a beach nap to complete the day. It was full of sand castle making and ocean enjoying. I even had a chance to write down Andrew's name... since we don't live near the beach anymore, it's always something I try to do while we're on vacation. The boat ride back was SO much better, quicker, and the boat was crazy-nice! Trip Advisor also tipped us off that we needed to run back to the parking lot and get in line to pay for our parking ticket, as some people had to wait over an hour to pay their $5! We were the first ones there and had no issue. Great day.
Line we were able to skip out on due to the belly - happy Benjamin on a boat - Dad drinking a local beer - Benjamin drinking some 7-Up... cured that seasickness right away. Of course.
Ferry boat - Andrew - pina colada helado while waiting for the ferry back - sand castles with Dad
Monday - Final Day: We spent this day packing, walking and relaxing. We headed back to the park we spent some time at before, walked the beach, and checked out this great deli/bakery I found on Yelp. Even the President has eaten there! It did not disappoint.
Cute beach boy - playing at the beach park - eating more helado (tried all three: passion fruit, pina colada, coconut-- coconut was the best) - Mallorca sweet bread roll - breakfast at Kasalta was carb heaven - independent toddler on a (Hertz) bus back to the airport for our flight from hell
Video was taken at a splash pad next to our hotel. B managed to find an elevator nearby and required I come assist him in pressing the buttons. He managed these steps up and down because they were so shallow.
We enjoyed this trip thoroughly and totally recommend it for a quick (and cheap) getaway. Even with a toddler who was way less-than-pleasant on that last flight, it was worth it.
Some things that surprised us about Puerto Rico:
They're on Atlantic time! That's two hours ahead of Chicago.
Lots of police in high tourist areas. It makes you feel both safe and skeptical.
While not a foreign country (yay, no customs!), they did have an agricultural check for all of our luggage before we were allowed to go through security.
The humidity, even in November is out of sight!
Prices are on-par with mainland. It was really no different price-wise than traveling in the U.S. In fact, our hotel was really inexpensive!
Tips:
Rent a car. They're quite cheap compared to taking taxis everywhere and you can find self-park at most hotels or hotels near yours.
If you don't rent a car, figure out local transportation because it is cheap!
Buy helado from street vendors-- it's the same company for each vendor and it's quite clean.
Hit up the local grocery store (we had one across the street from our hotel) for quick deli meals and basics. We even hit one up for some local candy to bring back. We always visit the local stores on trips to save a little cash on water/snacks and also to taste some local fare we may not have mainland.
Well, this was already three weeks ago, but here are some photos! The husband had a business conference in Palm Desert, which is about 2 hours from where my parents live in Southern California. We flew out a day early to spend time with my parents and then we were off to Palm Desert the next day for the rest of the weekend. My parents joined us out there and we had a great time exploring the area.
The conference kept Ray quite busy, so Benjamin and I were with my parents most of the time during our Palm Desert stay. Luckily, we had a nice hotel room and an enormous hotel area to roam about. We also explored the Living Desert (zoo), a large Farmer's Market at the local college, ate lots of delicious food I miss so much and took advantage of some hotel perks.
Before heading to Palm Desert during Benjamin's naptime (he's a great car sleeper), we visited Grandpa at work and got to go in a "kuck!" Basically the highlight of Benjamin's life right there.
The Living Desert was fun to visit and we each were able to feed a real, live giraffe! My dad shot a video of the feeding, too.
Our hotel had boats that took you out into the marina area and we went on that a few times. Lots of shoulder rides from grandpa.
We played some mini golf at our hotel, rode the boat with Dad when he was off work for the weekend and did a little swimming before heading back to LA to catch our flight.
Another California trip down. Another couple plane flights on the books. I really wish I would've kept track of all Benjamin's traveling... would've been cool to count up the hours and note that in his journal. Our next flight will be in 1.5 weeks! We're off to Puerto Rico for what will be Benjamin's final flight as a kid under 2 (otherwise known as his last free flight). Traveling will be a lot less frequent now that our plane costs are increasing 33%. Gulp.
1. Not sure why, but 31 feels so odd. Well, it is odd from a math standpoint, but in other ways. Like 30 was fancy because it was a new decade and 31 is just... boring.
2. Cannot believe I turned 21 TEN years ago.
3. My favorite part of my birthday month is not presents or actually turning another year older, but the emailed freebies from all my favorite places.
4. So far, I've redeemed freebies for $10 at World Mar.ket, $20 at Planet.Shoes where I scored $.20 socks shipped, a Jersey Mi.ke's sub with drink, a Whic.h Wich sandwich, scoop of Baski.n Robbins chocolate peanut butter swirl ice cream, and bowl at Noodl.es & Co.
5. Today we hit up storytime at the library where Benjamin lost his mind when he had to leave the felt birdie on the felt board after his turn during Brown Bear, Brown Bear which led to us walking out of storytime. Then he spotted the elevator button and caused lots of ruckus before we finally left without his shoes on and me only half checking out our books by accident.
6. After storytime, we got Jerse.y Mike's to-go, had a car picnic in the Post Office parking lot (B's FAVORITE), mailed a package and went next door for a freebie ice cream.
7. We returned home for B's nap and FedEx delivered a package.
8. The package? Our iPad I left at the J.W Marrio.tt in Palm Desert, CA over the weekend.
9. Talk about customer service when they shipped it to us for free!
10. We flew back from CA to IL on Sunday. It was definitely one of those days where there were lots of little things that continued to go wrong. Luckily, nothing big went wrong. Except maybe missing In-N-Out and having to settle on El Poll.o Loco instead. Acceptable tradeoff, but still missing my chocolate shake.
11. I successfully ate my way through California once again.
12. I've never dieted in my life, but I might have to start if I continue to eat like that while on visits back to the motherland.
13. We spent lots of good time with my parents and got to feed a giraffe while we were there. A real one! With real food! And tongues like a foot long!
14. I'll be posting about that trip and my mom's visit in September whenever I stop being such a lazy blogger.
15. Really it's Benjamin's fault. He needs to take 5-hour naps and maybe I'll get something done.
16. Okay, he can't take 5-hour naps, otherwise he wouldn't sleep at night.
17. When he wakes, we're going to a new park they just built about 2 miles down the road. I love visiting new parks because I get bored of the same ones we visit daily.
18. The leaves on trees here are going... going... it might be a raking weekend in the 'burbs.
19. I really need brown waste in my composter. Like yesterday. Hello fall leaves.
20. We're thinking about hitting up one of the many fall fests this weekend, too. B is going to flip over the bounce house. The kid loves him some bounce house time.
21. Speaking of fall and traditions, I really need to get on the ball about B's Halloween costume.
22. I literally Googled "costumes that don't have anything on the head" because B will not subscribe to any of that nonsense. I came up with a few, but have settled on a sort of boring but probably adorable (if I can get my act together), scarecrow. Sans hat. I'm thinking of making his hair all scraggly. What's new, right? Hah.
23. I've been getting a little flack for not cutting B's hair. Not gonna lie... he did have a mini rat tail when he was in the swimming pool on Sunday.
24. Back on the Halloween costume, the main reason I've been dragging my feet is because I have to actually get Benjamin to try on the two pairs of overalls he owns to see which one still fits. He acts like I am asking him to walk over hot coals when it comes to changing time.
25. And I might be a little sad to cut up one of his old flannel shirts to sew onto the overalls for scarecrow flair.
26. And also, I'm not really crafty and really don't look forward to such things.
27. Reason #436, I wish my parents were more local. My mom sews and actually enjoys it.
28. Benjamin will be a scarecrow and we'll be... whatever. As long as I get my $3 "boorito" at Chipot.le that day for dressing up as something, I don't care what I'm wearing.
29. This will be B's first year actually going door-to-door (to like 3 neighbors, probably). I bought him a pumpkin Halloween pail to drag around. Place your bets now... will he have a meltdown or think it's fun?
30. We usually pass out candy (of which I already bought at Target for a great price!) and then head out around dark for dinner at Chipot.le. Our neighborhood starts trick-or-treating at 3:00, and after dark, it's only the older kids who I don't enjoy giving candy to anyway.
31. For my 31st b-day, my husband surprised me with a cute hoodie sweatshirt and left me a glass of fresh-squeezed OJ he made me with my new Kitche.nAid juicer attachment. Like many of my friend's on IG said this morning, it's totally a Brandy gift. Yep. And just as I type this 31st item, I hear the little person awaking from his slumber...someone tell him he's supposed to nap until 4:00 on mom's birthday.
Drank half before taking the photo...couldn't help it!
The days my children were born were not the best days of my life. Au contraire. The best day was marrying the best person I'd ever met in my life. The person who knows me better than anyone, supports me, and stands with me when the days seem unbearable. The one that cried on the couch with me day after day month and still loves me in that brokenness.
We usually celebrate specific days with the meals we ate on those days in real life, but we're switching things up a bit and going hibachi tonight. For our first date anniversary on May 28, we go out for Asian food. On June 15, our engagement day, we stay in and make burritos, just like we had the night we got engaged in Ray's Manhattan Beach apartment.
On our wedding day, we had a Mexican buffet complete with beans, steak and chicken fajitas, tortillas, salsas, guacamole, tortillas, and more. When we went to taste and select the menu from our required caterer for our reception location, we kindly asked if we could decline all of the package options and go with Mexican instead. Without hesitation, they were on board and the food was exceptional! I've never had Mexican food at a wedding, before or after our wedding, but it still remains my favorite food ever. And just to be even more cultured, all 100+ of our guests were eating their Mexican feasts at a Japanese garden! If you remember, my mom and I took B back to that garden to feed the Koi fish earlier this year during a visit to the motherland.
To celebrate our 5th anniversary (other than being traditional and actually buying something made of wood for my husband!), I wanted to share five of our favorite wedding photos. There are so many, but here are five...
The doors on the left were open and the breeze from the Pacific was amazing.
Photos after on the side of the church.
Back inside the church for more photos-- it was an Italian-inspired mansion before being sold and converted to a church.
Not sure what the conversation was here, but it made for a pretty fun photo.
Japanese garden reception. Our table was on the dance floor and was removed for lots of dancing later!
Just like losing Andrew, I'm all too aware that these years we have together are precious. I'm so thankful to have them and continue to cherish every moment we spend together. Hoping for many, many, many more.
Our town has a cool festival every year and we were so excited to take Benjamin for the second year in a row! {That's luck and we're thankful a million times over.} We parked at a nearby parking lot and were shuttled in by a school bus. First school bus experience for the kiddo. He loved it, despite his serious look in the photo below.
Loving the bounce house (2nd time in one, and he was definitely standing a bunch!) and characters he saw.
We took a break in the middle of the festival to visit our water park that was located across the street. We go about 4-5 times a week and this was Benjamin's first time in the sand pit. He loved it, of course.
The festival is unique because it has about 15-20 hot air balloons that you can actually ride, depending on the weather. A month before we were engaged, in May of 2007, we took a hot air balloon ride over Temecula, CA, dropping us down into orange groves to pick oranges... and then had champagne afterwards. That same champagne (Wilson Creek Winery) was served at our wedding for the toast. It also helps we're Wilsons... the namesake didn't hurt the choice.
While we don't care to go inside the hot air balloon again (you're stuffed like sardines!), it was a cool experience and being around hot air balloons takes us back to that special weekend. And did I mention the guy who was to propose with a fancy engagement ring the following month gifted me with diamond earrings, also princess cut? Said he was testing out the shape to make sure I liked it. And I've been rocking the same on my hand ever since June 15, 2007. And I wear those earrings every single day.
Let's take a trip down memory lane... shall we?
We look 17. But really, 24. Proof that grief ages you FAST. Any Californians know the band sweatshirt I'm wearing?
Helping the balloon process & packed in like sardines (see?). How romantic. Hah!
Orange groves they dropped us into (we picked 3 oranges!), halo above the clouds...happy couple (still happy).
Wearing my new sparkly diamonds, but a bit hard to see with the hair...
So needless to say, we kind of like hot air balloons. And it's kind of cool that they're like 2 miles from our house at this festival every year for a little nostalgia and exploring. We hope Benjamin is just as adventurous.
We're definitely those parents to keep our kids up late to watch fireworks. Life's too short to worry about missing sleep. And, he slept in until 10:15 the next morning. Which means, so did we. They probably would've kept him awake anyway...
A little flashback from last year. That balloon is called the "Andy" balloon, and obviously that's really special to us. Benjamin was just 4 months last year in front of the Andy balloon and this year he's 16 crazy toddler months and in front of the same balloon. I asked the owners about the Andy character, as I was sad to see it gone. They told us it had a long life and over time, the balloon must be replaced. The majority of the bottom half was replaced, and the Andy character went along with it. While sad to see it go, they still call it the Andy balloon and announce it as such. I hope they come every year so I can take a balloon picture of my boys in front of it to honor and remember our very own Andy.
Impressive that the husband still has (and wears) that hat, right? I've told you before, but he loses hats like they're disposable! (Wrote that post 6 months to the day before Andrew died. I hate the 5th. Of every month.)
These business travel bits are getting a bit more challenging with a crawling monster on my hands, but I do love to get away. It might be the winter that makes it all the more challenging, but we bundled up and pressed on, heading to Wisconsin's capital city of Madison. I think it's funny that we're closer to Wisconsin's capital than we are to Illinois' capital. Anyway... we headed north 2.5 hours for a short trip, which meant waking up at 4:45 a.m. to make it in time for the husband's early meeting. B was confused, but managed to sleep in the car and napped like a champ both days. A few snippets of our adventure, along with things I've learned while traveling to Madison with an almost 1-year old.
Three-wheeled strollers are not all-terrain. They do not handle thick slushy snow well.
Oh man. I was totally pushing through what felt like quicksand up a hill. A wonderful university student came to my aid, but I managed to {wo}man up and make it happen.
Target is a great place to go early in the morning when you can't yet check into your hotel room.
Not like I needed another reason to visit a Target, but I definitely walked the aisles and loaded up on lemonade, mac 'n' cheese, a new hat for B (since the 5+ he already has aren't enough), and signed up for a Target RedCard Debit. Why hadn't I done that before? Random tidbit for you Target lovers... did you know you get $.05 off your total for each reusable bag you use? And with the Target RedCard, you get 5% off all purchases and it's not a credit card-- just comes directly out of your debit account.
Target almost always has a Starbucks inside, which is also a great place to feed a kiddo breakfast.
Hello empty seating, warm oatmeal (and anything else I want to feed him available in the store!), and warm beverages! And, they even have cart wipes that you can double as disinfecting wipes for high chairs and tables fo' free!
Oversized dressing rooms are the bomb-dot-com with a crawling baby. The space under the door where they can crawl out? Not so bomb.
I heart Anthropologie, the two dresses I bought from there, the customer service, free shipping if ordered in store (for things they carry online but are out of in-store), and now their dressing rooms. Going to a wedding in Dallas next weekend and Mama needed a new dress (or two).
Didn't buy that dress (afraid the $120 gold pieces would fray easily), but bought this one & this one & wanted this one, but they were sold out in my size in the entire Midwest. I checked.
Thrift stores in hippie neighborhoods are the best.
I'm not talking Goodwill, though I've found a few scores there myself. I'm talking those little joints that only sell high-end clothes and are really picky about their merchandise. I scored a designer belt for only $2.50. Later I realized it was lacking a tiny metal stud that I think a trip to Michael's will fix. There is a reason it was so cheap. I just love exploring those little gems.
You can order a side of meatballs (or any protein) on the cheap to feed your bambino at Noodles & Co.
It's getting to the point where he's not quite ready for a kid's meal order, but eats a bit too much for us to share with him. Sort of depends on the meal. I'm also a spicy-food lover, and I don't like compromising my fave flavors because the nugget can't handle the heat. Or peanuts. Because my fave dish at Noodles is the Indonesian Peanut Saute... and we haven't quite graduated to peanut status yet. For about $2.50ish, you can get 5 meatballs, which is perfect for the little person.
Even though he wasn't ready for a kid's meal, he got one anyway at Panera Bread.
His first ever kid's meal was a ham & cheese sandwich with a squeezable organic yogurt that he sucked down at a rapid pace. He ate about 3/4 of the sandwich. The tank is still at it.
Nepalese food is indeed delicious.
The 'burbs of Chicago lack interesting food. I've stopped counting how many brewpubs there are here. Not that I dislike brewpubs, but you have to sell food that's off the beaten path in order for me to differentiate you from Burger King. Most do not. Madison is a large university town that's lively with lots of young people who also have hippie tendencies. Hippies are often vegetarian. I am vegetarian and a little hippie. Therefore, I like big, hippie, granola, liberal, university towns. We ate at a place that gets fab reviews on Yelp, but I was only slightly disappointed at the entree portions. I'm sort of a fat kid when it comes to food and while I'd love to subscribe to the whole ideal of eat until you're content, I just can't. I'll be starving 3 hours later because vegetarian fare is just not as filling. B seemed to enjoy the grub as well. I think he's partial to hippies.
Hotels that favor business guests tend to have pools that no one swims in during the day.
A win for us! Both times we enjoyed the pool, we had it all to ourselves. Which is super for the mom who packed her triangle top bikini that fit really well in college and before she started breastfeeding. Looks like my go-to J.Crew triangle top might be retired soon. Either that, or someone else will need to hold the kid who yanks and tugs at it while in the pool.
Trying to both complete the Shred in a hotel room and with a baby who is awake is close to impossible.
Definitely not the best workout of the 30 days as B couldn't understand why we didn't want him crawling all over us during our ab exercises. He wanted in on the action, obviously. He was probably thinking... man. My mom feeds me butter and high-fat everything. I really have to sign myself up for a Shred soon. Day 28 today. A full recap of the craziness to come in a week or so.
It's getting harder and harder to sleep in the same room as the B-man at night.
He is a mover all. night. long. I am an incredibly light sleeper and woke up to every twist and turn he made, despite him being in the far corner of the room and having an iPhone noise app to try and drown out the sound. He even cried out briefly a couple times, which I am certain he does in his own room at night, but the walls separating us prevent me from being alarmed when he's merely dreaming or waking startled before falling back to sleep. I cherish, love, adore, admire, covet suites or extra large bathrooms for the pack 'n' play.
When you have to check out of a hotel before the husband is done with meetings, libraries are a fun, free, and educational place to go, especially when it's snowing heavily outside.
Usually, I attempt to find an indoor mall to walk around when it's either too hot or too cold and we have no where else to go. The mall, unfortunately, was about 8 miles away. Sixteen miles round-trip in the sloshy, slippery snow in a town I'm unfamiliar with? No thanks. We grabbed lunch after late checkout and headed to the library to read suck on books and explore their sensory and educational zone geared entirely to young people. Better than the mall where he'd be stuck in the stroller. I'm the genius mom who forgot diapers and wipes in the car... only to of course need said diapers and wipes and have to schlep the kid in the sloshy snow multiple times to remedy the situation. While at the library, we met another mom who had her 13-month old daughter with her and was actually there killing time while her other daughter (2 years old, of course) was in preschool. We chatted a bunch and I was quite fond of her Patagonia and North-Face wearing self and almost wanted to drive 2.5 hours to hang out with her, you know... while her 2-year old was in school, obvi. Except, no. That's silly. Of course I meet people I like in other states.
Another adventure down. Next weekend stop, Dallas! Plans are in the works and we're pretty sure we'll get to meet a pretty fabuloso BLM, her husband and big boy, Finn! Can't wait!
So here we are. A new year with new possibilities. Let's hope 2013 rocks as much as 2012 did. Or at the very least, doesn't suck as much as 2010 did. There's my eternal optimism kicking in again. Perhaps I should resolve to work on that first? Ha.
We kicked off the new year by playing a little Super Mario Bros. on the couch while B napped, followed by a full on gutting of our upstairs catch-all closet that housed memories of days past. In numbers... a little fun to begin the new year:
100 - approximate feet of TV cable found in our closet
4 - keyboards and computer mice found
8 - random, empty notebooks filled with empty lined paper
7 - beach towels
7 - sets of earphones
25 - approximate number of USB cords found
2 - Ethernet cords
1 - printer we planned to recycle until we found 3 unused printer ink cartridges for said printer
15 - rough number of electronics boxes of various cameras, GPS devices and the like
5 - approximate pounds of papers shredded after cleaning out our files
5 - approximate pounds of papers from the NICU and both boys' births
6 - books recycled
4 - more books placed in the pile for consignment donating
5 - flash drives probably full of random data
4 - number of hours spent de-cluttering yesterday
25 - approximate weight of the bag of electronics we're recycling this month
Our goal is to go through our basement storage in the coming month as well. I imagine my teaching supplies need to be sifted through and purged a bit. I do plan to teach again eventually, but I don't imagine I'll need the 10-15 boxes of random stuff I schlepped all the way from my classroom in So. Cal.
I'm not a regular resolution setter, but because it's all about a new year and I'm hoping for new results, I guess I have to make some changes. Without futher adieu:
Complete Jillian's 30-Day Shred at least once. I just bought it this morning on Amazon. No joke. I'm obviously behind the times. Anyone successfully completed it?
Run a 5k as a family. It's not a huge feat to run that distance for us, but we don't usually run them because they cost a ton! However, I really want Benjamin to be brought up in an active family and see others enjoying an active lifestyle. We want to do the Arboretum run this fall, but whether we do that or not, it will have to be non-traditional.
Cook one new recipe from my Pinterest account a week. That's not really all that big of a deal... as you all know I love to cook. But man! Somehow I've ended up with about 100 recipes I have yet to try and only 50 on my list of complete (and liked. Some were deleted after unimpressive results).
Cut out sugar for another 2-3 months. I really feel good when I do this. I can't cut it out forever and I'm obviously horrible at pacing myself throughout the day, so it's all or nothing. Maybe this should be in conjunction with the Shred?
Once the weather is 50 degrees and higher, I want to get out and run/walk at least 3x/week with Benjamin in the jogger. My husband needs to hold me accountable for this.
Meet friends. We've lived here 3 years in March and met all of the friends we have now within the first 3 months of moving here. It's time we add to that number. I'm hoping this can be accomplished through Benjamin's swim lessons (start next week!) & our weekly trips to the pool/water park this summer. Hopefully they won't have a 2-3 year old. Might be an automatic deal breaker if it's a boy. If blond? #forgetaboutit
Plan a ski trip for winter 2013-2014. Aside from our honeymoon in New Zealand and a really lame attempt at a ski hill just down the road, we haven't been skiing in 5 years. Our wedding was 4.5 years ago, so that's really the last official time of skiing at a place with an actual chair lift and not a tow rope. Did I mention my amazing husband loves to ski?
That's it. That's all I'm committing to accomplishing. Anyone have any of my above items on their list? Maybe we can be accountability partners. Any recommendations on how to deal with the Shred and not die in the process?
With less than a week before our trip, we found out that we were headed to Boston! Ray had a work gig to handle and of course that meant I would get to visit a city I'd never been to and have always wanted to visit!
Benjamin is one hooked up kid. Too bad he won't remember a thing.
7th and 8th plane rides for the B-man
Cheers! We're in Boston!
Pho for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant
Dad was working, so B and I went to see the swan boats at the Boston Common just a couple blocks from our hotel. You can tell, he's thrilled. Also spotted: a man petting a squirrel (not pictured). Gross, gross, gross.
I walked all over Boston to find a falafel joint I read about on Yelp. It was a HOLE. But decent. B and I sat in the park and had lunch. He preferred laying across my legs to get a view of the guy next to me. This kid will stare. you. down.
Hey look! A bacteria & pee infested hole free kiddie pool in the middle of the park!
State House
Paul Revere himself rests in the center of the city at the Granary Burial Ground.
My former self totally wouldn't have taken photos of gravestones. I would've thought it was disrespectful or eerie. Except now they have a whole new meaning to me. Someone loved these people. Some of the oldest gravestones in our Nation's history. Notice the Gothic, skeletal elements.
Paul Revere's house - North Side, Boston. Dad joined us for dinner and we walked to get some Italian food.
B-man tried his first Italian soda. Bad parents, happy baby.
Oh the hype. This joint has like 1,600 reviews on Yelp and a line stretching around the block. We waited in the cattle line. And what a disappointment it was. I already knew I didn't like cannolis... and whatdoyaknow. I still didn't like them after hitting up this joint. $7 down the tube and 10 grams of fat on our backsides (we had a bite of one each).
Back in the hotel room with our chocolate mousse & oreo cannolis.
Faneuil Hall: famous speeches by some of our founding fathers were given here. Now it's a bar/restaurant mecca.
No trip is complete without a brewery tour. The B-man was awake for most. It was the least exciting of our beer tours thus far. Did you know the Sam Adams you drink isn't made in Massachusetts at all? Only in PA & OH, but this is the only joint that gives tours.
Mama SKILLS. B was hungry and I foolishly didn't feed him prior to the tour. Feeding in the Ergo while listening to the tour guide talk about beer.
Uh Oh.
We checked out Fenway and had lunch across the street. No home games...
John Hancock's former residence stood here. It baffles my mind that I was standing where they stood. Same reaction we had in Europe while staring into the Martin Luther Bible translation room.
Sans baby, we would've totally had a drink at the Cheers bar. Except dude. Baby isn't a patient little fellow.
So instead I just took a photo of these random people who are now on my blog.
Old South Meeting House - Boston Tea Party planning
Park Street Chuch - Next door is the cemetary I posted above that Paul Revere & Sam Adams are buried at.
Old State House
Old South Meeting House (another view)
Oldest Restaurant in the United States
Oldest Tavern in the United States, right across the street
Hard to see, but Paul Revere's famous ride statue and the Old North Church in the background. And the B-man. Sleeping right through our history lesson that would surely have scored him an A+ on his 5th grade Revolutionary War exam. Tisk, tisk.
Famous Boston Massacre portrait - taken at a period-themed printer's shop
Inside the Old North Church. These are enclosed pews. Members would buy pews-- enclosed because winters were harsh and these would keep them warm. Those on the inside rows would cost more and the exterior, less.
The Old North Church made famous during Paul Revere's midnight ride.
The B-man chilling out before a tour of the U.S.S. Constitution.
I like big boats and I cannot lie.
The Navy guy giving the tour was very animated. B thought he was cray-cray and wasn't afraid to show it.
U.S.S. Constitution Warship
After the tour...
Is anyone else tired? omg.
At the site of Bunker Hill. Monument behind us. And yes... it's really on a hill.
Oldest firehouse in Boston.
After dinner, we bought Italian cookies that were THE BEST EVER at Bova's Bakery in the North Side. Seriously, skip cannolis and run straight for the cookies. a-m-a-z-i-n-g. So good that we are now seeking out a place in Chicago that makes Italian cookies. Chocolate-dipped coconut macaroon and some amazing vanilla-almond cookie. And this cookie... bought because it was all colorful and kid-like. Had almost no flavor, but I figured that B would have picked it out himself if he were a bit older because kids love sprinkles. Also, I'm pretty sure a 10-year-old in the Mob served me.
B had his first college tours! Will he be math/science analytic... at MIT...
... or more of a humanities/law guy... at Harvard? This picture is actually a church near Harvard.
A delish pizza joint in Harvard Square that served up white bean and sundried tomato (and sausage for the carni) pizza.
In the middle of Harvard just chilling in the colorful chairs. B may or may not be naked under his opened up romper. Nakie nakie in the middle of Harvard. Tisk, tisk. This kid doesn't take anything seriously. But a hilarious photo for when he actually goes there, no?
Rubbing John Harvard's foot for good luck. Yes, we're aware no one should touch it because the students pee on him. Yes I sanitized B's hand immediately after taking this photo. Yes I think the guys who choose to pee on him (can't be any classy girl, right?) have amazing aim, velocity, acceleration, and distance for successfully peeing on such a tall statue.
SoCal girl + East Coast boy. Travelers. Currently living in Scottsdale, AZ by way of Reno, Chicago, Germany and Los Angeles. Parents. Andrew born still at 38w5d, Benjamin born living at 37w & Claire born just in time at 36w. Living the incomplete American dream of 3-1.
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