Terrible, They Are.

The twos that is.

No one parent has the right balance to ensure that their kid doesn't turn into the angry little beast that tantrums in grocery stores or on sidewalks in front of buildings. If you are a parent who is so boastfully proud about their kid never turning into a beast, please do not comment here. This post is not meant to make me feel worse.

I'm convinced some parents just get luckier than others in the terrible two department. And honestly, for sometime I was tooting my own horn about how reasoning with my kid and offering choices for everything was working so well and he was so awesome.

Except somewhere along the journey, he turned terrible.

I almost never want to take him anywhere these days, you guys. I do still, but I dread it. Once we arrive, he almost never wants to leave. And while I am all about being flexible, little sister does need to be fed sometimes and they both still need to nap.

Just in my recent memory of things that happened in the last couple days:
- threw a full out tantrum in the grocery store by ninja-ing his way out of the shopping cart and then the car cart to only be held in a football hold through the checkout lane. The checker had to handle all of my groceries and they even had someone try to give us a cookie (reward that behavior? NO!) and someone walk the cart to our car.
- laid in front of the library door because he didn't want to get in the car.
- refused to leave the "cookie store" bakery and told me "bye bye Mommy" to leave.

When he doesn't want something, he says "bye bye" angrily and shoos it/you away like a fly. I have friends who chose not to give their kids sugar because that tended to fuel the terribleness. And friends who withheld television or technology or fill-in-the-blank. Some of that helped, and I personally witnessed some of that backfiring. Deprivation wasn't necessarily the key to good behavior. For us, I believed that if my son were "deprived" of something, it would make him that much worse to manage when he finally had his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. And to an extent, I think we're still right about that for our son. Not your son, just to be clear. All families choose their own paths. Knowing how we both work as parents and people, we didn't feel that withholding things he wanted was the answer. It was more about collective bargaining and all of us winning on the deal.

So if he wants to watch a television show at the end of the evening, he must pick up his toys. Used to work swimmingly. Now, he just declines the show.

If he wants to have dessert, he must give a good effort at dinner he gets to have a say in selecting. If a good effort was not rendered, no dessert is to be had. Doesn't seem to bother him lately. Food is wasted and treats are forgotten.

And the latest nonsense to hit the household is sister jealousy. Up until now, he's been nothing but a wonderful, gentle brother. But now? Now that she is functioning and not sleeping the entire day away and actually demands some parental attention? He's blowing steam. He knows her name and often uses it, but when it comes to being mad, he reverts to calling her "baby" as if it is demeaning in its use. "No swing baybee" (if she is using it and he wants it) as just one of the many examples. He's been a bit violent toward her as well.

While we knew the twos would possibly hit us at some point, we didn't realize just how irrational they might be. He begins screaming about something (example: leaving the children's museum) and it takes the strength of a small army to get him into his carseat. I've totally had to sit on him to get him in there and mothers all around either give me mad staredowns or pat me on the back and tell me that it's just a stage. Once he's in the carseat or when he screams his head off at home, it turns into his shoes being off or on, wanting mommy or daddy's car or being angry because he doesn't have juice. None of it makes sense. It's a big pile of nonsense that takes over his body and turns him into a raging lunatic. Some days these tantrums can go on for over an hour. {I told a fellow mom at the park about his tantrums as she witnessed a mini one in the parking lot about him wanting-to-but-not-wanting-to bring his sand toys... and this mom of three replied, "that must be hard." Great, thanks for the mom comradery}.

Knee deep in the terribleness that is the twos. When he is incredible, he is really the coolest kid ever. But when he is terrible... he defines the word at a whole new level.

Reminds me of that little poem:

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow